After years of putting it off and literally running whenever he asked about it, Twilight Sparkle finally decided to tell Spike where foals come from. Luckily for her, it turned out it was no longer necessary.
However, the good news ended there. Once Twilight and Spike were summoned to Canterlot by the Cutie Map, the duo found themselves giving "the talk" to two ponies Twilight thought long had it.
Spike, not understanding the awkwardness of the conversation, was okay with it. Twilight on the other hoof...let's just say she wanted to reevaluate her life once it was all over.
Despite its name, this story is unrelated to my story Rarity Gives "The Talk".
EDIT: featured through 06/13/21-06/15/21!
#1 on the feature list on 06/14/21!
Chapters (3)
i-
huh
I've been waiting for this, lmao.
This was funny
Second verse same as the first
I have to disagree with that. Sorry Discord but as good as you are. The one who truly earned the championship title of trolling will always be Celestia.
With you its always expected because of who you are, but with Celestia; nobody suspects her. How do you think she'd got the name "Trollestia." Heck even her emoji is under the same name.
Yes. Yes, I would.
The ending really surprised me. Who would of thought that Fluttershy was behind this. And what she and Discord do after he return the princesses memories. Obviously they will still remember there conversation with Twilight and tell her about Discord's ploy, which could lead to Fluttershy telling the truth.
Because she haves a crush on her and used that chance kiss her and get a little payback
Now I'm afraid what she would do to Discord and Fluttershy if she ever learns the truth.
I think the bonus chapter would be quite.... interesting.
That’s just too funny, thanks for the story!
I never know what you’re on when you write these, and they’re still hilarious.
I would be very interested in seeing the hospital scene and subsequent fallout. Because unless Discord wipes all relevant memories from everyone involved, this is going to end up in the tabloids eventually, and I’m not sure Equestria can handle the aftermath.
To maximize your experience, every time Spike says *censored*, *censored*, or *censored*, plays this sound effect.
Please add a chapter Detailing a Doctor and Celestia Having 'the talk'
10859925
Is that new name for Cutie Marks
Fucking gold
https://ifunny.co/gif/we-shall-participate-in-a-miniscule-amount-of-tomfoolery-TV5g9VUS8
Sorry for the cringe only version I could find in 3 seconds
10859591
Thanks and glad you liked it! I went back and forth a little on if I would write this story before deciding to just go for it.
10859625
Who's to say Celestia isn't the Equestrian Super Heavyweight Champion...?
But now yet another story came to mind, with the Equestrian Heavyweight Champion actually being a thing, with Discord as the reigning champion, and Celestia going all-out with her trolling to win the title,
I was thinking that would a twist that few, if any, would see coming. Discord being behind the whole thing would be par for the course for that troll, but Fluttershy?! You know what they say about bewaring the quiet ones...
10859749
You're welcome and glad you enjoyed the story!
10859770
That's for me to know and the world never to find out
Though the idea for this story didn't come from that, but from a comment in the "Rarity Gives 'The Talk'" story.
10859917
If there was a way to have that sound effect in the story when spike "said" *censored*, it would have been perfect to have in it!
You might get a laugh if you use the site's, text-to-speech function for the part in bold. When I did during proofreading the story, I thought it was about to say "sticks his ass" because the text-to-speech says the word "asterisk" when it reaches an askerisk in a story.
10859926
Those two lines you pointed out are among some of my favorites ones in the story. I would have laughed hard if someone else wrote this story and I was reading it
10859985
Eh, some cringe is a good thing I'd say
10860030
Pretty much everything, and Fluttershy hated saying every word, especially the "juicy" facts. Poor thing.
Glad you enjoyed the story!
10859670
10859873
10859933
Since it looks like there will be enough interest, I will write a bonus chapter showing what happens with Celestia and Luna at the hospital. I'm beginning to write its first draft, so I think it'll be out in about 5 or 6 days, give or take a day.
"The plot device" is my name for the life size twilight sparkle plush with installed onaholes I keep under my bed
The first chapter was frankly hilarious, and had me in giggling fits like a 12-year-old. The cartoonish humour was on point (though some of the meta-text in the prose itself felt unnecessary for me), and the dialogue was really great.
The second chapter was a wee bit too much for me. Honestly, I think the story works better as a single chapter thing. There's always the risk of stretching a joke too thin, but that's just personal taste, you know.
were can i find this story on fim fiction hmm?
If 5% of Twi's weight is 20lbs than her full weight is 400lbs or about 180kg. Twilight needs to diet hard.
10860624
Whoops! I did in math in my head wrong badly. it was meant to be 20% of her body weight, putting Twi at 100 lbs...or 150 lbs if Spike was right
10860677
100lb for a pony? You all need to read this...
https://www.besthorserider.com/how-much-does-a-pony-weigh/
Perhaps we don't need a 1klb sparkle butt but a 100lb Twilight just seems super tiny or bulimic to the point of near death.
nice job on story do that bonus story with twilight and sunset
10860153
Good to know(?)
10860234
Glad you liked the story and got laughs out of it, or at least the first chapter.
While I can't say too much due to spoiler reasons, I can at least say that I have already taken that into account.
10860598
If it's out there, I would want to read it too. I might write it, since that was one of the things I put in the story as prequel bait.
10860783
I really wasn't thinking too much about how much might Equestrian ponies weigh, especially with cartoon logic and all that. Though, 200 lbs was my initial thought for Twilight's weight when I was trying to choose a weight for Twilight, or at least this version of her.
On a side note, love your avatar pic
! That may or may not be accurate to how Celestia may look at one point in the bonus chapter...
10860810
Glad you enjoyed the story! The bonus chapter's not really going to be about Twilight and Sunset, though, outside of maybe Sunset being referenced.
10860857
what i mean is she tells sunset and see how she reacts to the story
10860153
yes
A fun and playful poke at MLP characters if they had to deal with real life scenarios, I found this really enjoyable to read!
10860153
I feel so disgusted by this that I'm gonna go on a hike, you should too.
10861626
Yes indeed.
10861928
Thanks and glad you enjoyed this little silly story!
10860598
My thoughts exactly.
10862328
It just popped into my head and I couldn't resist
More
I had so much fun writing Twilight Sparkle Lays an Egg, and I'm glad to see others taking this ball... um... egg and running with it. Bravo! I give this omelet a Michelin Star.
10863423
And you will get more in a few days.
10863583
Thanks, and I really liked your "Twilight Sparkle Lays an Egg" story, so thanks for writing that!
And here I just assumed no one in their right mind would proposition a Princess.
Likely wouldn’t be by accident. The compression part of CPR has to effect the lungs, ribs are in between those and your hands so a lot of instances of resuscitation will likely result in cracked bones. It’s why the first thing your supposed to do is check the mouth and airway so you rule out anything that doesn’t involve chest compressions.
10865803
It was only a few months ago when I learned about how CPR often cracks ribs since I never was trained in it. One of those less pretty facts that movies and shows tend to leave out.
10866470
Yep, that, the almond smell of cyanide only being detectable to half the population, chloroform taking about five min to work, lemmings going off cliffs only when film makers commit animal cruelty, piranhas only skeletonizing when literally starved, and so many other things that film and television have lied and continue to lie about.
10865803
CPR is compressing the sternum with enough force to pump the heart ,
knuckle the sternum for reaction , check vitals [Is this a real emergency?]
1. check airway [clear]
2, breath into lungs [be sure not to inflate stomach, two breaths between five compressions]
3. chest compressions [put enough force into it two fingers above the lower sternum, push hard]
repeat [with a good rhythm you can go for hours if you have to]
check for pulse or breathing
You're breathing and pumping blood for the person.
This training is "old" so get updated - They've got stuff to 'jump start' a vapor locked human after all.
nice work
Fantastic bonus chapter.
10865797
I figured that with them being the equivalent of goddesses that nobody had the guts to try to get near them in that way.
10872318
10872758
Thanks!
10872266
Hmm. Good to know.
10859625
Please. Anyone who actually pays attention knows that Discord is the Super Heavyweight Champion of the Multiverse when it comes to trolling.
Celestia's doesn't even count as low grade trolling.
Shut up and take my favorite!
10874325
If you insist...I'll take it.
“After the third time I did it and Chrysalis revived us, I cast a worldwide spell to make all Equestrians immune to death by magical mishaps. It’s a long story, so don’t ask what happened.”
Chrysalis did what?