This story is a sequel to Fluttershy, Royal Game Warden (?)
Ever since Rarity was a wee filly, she has always fantasized about the life of the nobility. The inestimable glamour! The fabulous balls and galas! The magnificent castles! Even after running roughshod into the very worst of highborn snobbery at the Gala, that little foalish tingle keeps dragging her mind back to that particular whimsy in the quiet times.
Incidentally, Luna needs some poor gullible idiot she can ennoble before throwing them into the very foulest political cesspit in Bitaly on a wild-goose chase for nine million bits. How convenient!
Reading the previous story is highly recommended, not only because this one won't make much sense without it, but also because it's a 100% certified banger. Obviously.
I haven’t come across the word Exchequer anywhere but in Robert Asprin novels.
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It's a fun word. It's pretty rare outside of Westminster-descended political systems. Or color variations in chicken breeding, apparently. Who knew?
Luna's off to find herself a patsy.
Prepare to reap the whirlwind Bitaly.
Fluttershy really has come out of her shell hasn't she? Amazing what a near-death experience, attempted murder, successful murder, and hiding a body can do for you.
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Aldo English history, might still be in use ... (Office of the Exchequer, IIRC) ... [*need a Luna here*]
Hmmm, isn't Rainbow in charge (or thinks she is) of the Ponyville Weather
(and how often has she been covered by somepony else) 
This is my biggest problem with your Luna. She may do many things, but I don't see wilting as one of them.
Aside from that, I'm enjoying this immensely. Looking forward to more.
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mmmmmmmmmmmyeah you're probably right. I really have intended to lessen up on the "dormattyness" of her, although I would say that it's not as much writing out of a corner at this point as it is writing out of one of those super deep Russian boreholes, but what are ya gonna do? In hindsight, I wish I had written that quoted sentence a little better; I had really meant that she shrank in response to ol' Flutterchad in a sort of previously established peuso-kinda-sorta-dominance thing, but that's not exactly what I managed to convey, and that "as usual" is almost definitely a poor move. A little awkward editing a quoted sentence though.
I know this is not a romance but one hell of a hilarious fic and that Rarity anyway made clear in the previous one she doesn't swing that way, but those two better be banging by the end of it. Sure, they might be the best of bros living life-imperiling adventures together against their will or better judgement, but I want some romantic pony cuddles goddammit!
I'd be ameliorated by RariDash, considering how things are progressing. Specially if it's completely parallel to the plot in a way it's barely mentioned but it's there nonetheless.
Finally, I LOVE IT. I love this little side universe you crafted, how Rarity and Flutters are both badasses and completely normal in the best "oh gods not this shit again" way. And how this story being a thing already makes me anxious more more and giddy knowing there might be even more of them next
Insta fave, more soon please?
Amazing
Seems it would be simpler to just create a new title and purse for Luna, under the circumstances. But then we wouldn't have a story, and, after all, nine million bits isn't hay (even the sort they use for burgers. Really, how does that work?)
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More troubling to me has always been the hay fries. I've never tried to fry a hay based batter before, but I have to think it would turn out something teeth shatteringly hard à la biscotti, which doesn't sound nice at all, really.
comital is a wonderful adjective. your use of language is superb, And is stupendous to the eyes, a veritable plethora of language dessert for me to feast upon with mine eyes. Wonderful! I cannot wait for the next instalment!
Oh, no. I haven't even read the story yet, I've just read the prequel material. This should be good. I'll let you know.
Given what a waste of protoplasm Celestia appears to be in this setting, it's a bit of surprise she actually took the trouble to set up the position of Regent for her sister in the first place. Possibly she's gone downhill in the last 1000 years.
(I know I shouldn't bother to try and make sense of it and just glory in the absurdity of it all, but honestly, you write Rarity, Luna and Fluttershy interestingly enough that I get invested in their problems. Therefore, Twilight and Celestia being complete horse butts makes me rather angrier than it would in a setting of universal lunacy such as the Pony.mov series)
Fluttershy calling Luna a "big, blue dipshit" is something I never knew I needed, but now I cannot imagine life without it.
First chapter read. Yup, it's living up to expectations. Never get between Luna and her desire for 50 bits to see a movie. I'm sure there's no way this will end up with extraneous rural poverty or the collapse of an entire economy. But I'm pretty sure that somepony (or ponies) will be shot by the end of it. (I'll bet at least 50 bits on that.)
Dirt-poor Luna is best Luna.
I can already tell this is going to go wonderfully.
Personally, I think Equestria on a whole just needs to get its collective heads out of the gutter, but it's not like anybody listens to me anyway, y'know?
Because it's not like anybody is going to be needing either of those things, right?
That must be the technical term for it.
Somewhat like this, perhaps?
static.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/0/0a/Rainbow_Dash%27s_Grinch_smile_S05E05.png/revision/latest?cb=20150427120528
I'd propose a bet that it won't actually be that simple at all, but let's be honest here...it'd be a sucker's bet.
Considering the post has been vacant for--what was it, sixty or so years?--I'd imagine the condition can be succinctly summarized as overall not great.
Oh ho ho ho, this'll be glorious!
...dare I ask just what the heck the CMC were up to just then?
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Yes. I was correct. This is going to be a completely delicious romp; Rarity and Rainbow: what can possibly go wrong. (*). And your Flutterbutters isn't so inclined to take any crap from any Princesses, so you've given me a reason to fall in love with her all over again.
And regarding Rares and Sweetie Belle. I'm guessing the Sisterhood Social is a thing that happens to other ponies. Sure, why not. It's probably for the best.
(*) Unless of course I'm incorrect with whom Rarity's "partner in crime" (and I say that with only half my tongue in my cheek) will be this round. I mean, there's always Derpy.
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I think I'm in love.
(With her, not you. Sorry.)
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I think of her doormaty-ness (that's a word now) is perfectly in character. She's still new to the world and still has no idea what's going on. And she's obviously feeling regretful for her whole bratty-sister, Nightmare Moon, goth phase. I'm sure she'll get over it with a little time to get her bearings and Celestia doing something really stupid that sets her off. Then I expect she'll be fine.
In what way shape or form is this plan of Luna's a good idea? I mean seriously! Just send some guards to get the purse and return it to Canterlot! Although Rarity does deserve a title and I totally see her starting a series of wars that eventually turns herself in the the Caeser of Bitaly after a war of ruin and blood!
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Ah, except I think the purse getting left where it was had been done deliberately...if you catch my meaning here.
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Luna doesn't have any goons to send, but even if she did, the purses only open for the correct pony, hence why Minister Bags (free copy of bad rats to whomever tells me where I got that name btw) tells moonbutt she needs someone to acquire the title and thus the ability to open it. I would say they work like magical blockchains, but I don't actually understand how crypto works, so that's probably wrong.
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Meanwhile, in the CMC clubhouse...
"Phew-ee, Scoots, you weren't kiddin' when you said this stuff stank like a tacklebox in October!" Apple Bloom waved a hoof in front of her face, the desk fan above the cauldron doing an altogether insufficient job of clearing out fumes from the room. "And jus' what the heck is 'meth-ul-aye-zation' anyway?"
Scootaloo shrugged. "I dunno. It's just a bunch of wiggly pictures in here." She turned the book around, pointing a hoof at a few arcane diagrams. "But it says we gotta do the 'methylizing' to that stuff to make the, uh-" she flipped through the book again "'-methyl phosphonous dichloride'. Whatever the heck that is."
"Ugh!" Sweetie Belle noted, to her immense displeasure, that the sleeve of wool sweater she had borrowed from her sister had obtained a brand new hoof-sized hole. She probably wouldn't notice, right? "Is that the crazy potion we're trying to make?"
"Nah, not yet." Scootaloo picked up another book: Lewis Acid's Guide to Advanced Organic Chemistry. "Then we gotta mix in the alcohol and that 'dippa' stuff before we finish with the sulfur." She looked up from the book. "How that going, Sweetie Belle?"
"It's okay, I guess." Sweetie Belle pushed around the liquid in the pot with a wooden spoon; the metal one already having been dissolved. "But this 'soul-fur-ick acid' stuff keeps burning through my clothes." She nodded towards a pile of shirts and jackets in the corner; all destroyed, all Rarity's, naturally.
"Yeah, Scootaloo, this sure is a whole load o' work jus' for some dumb potion," Apple Bloom grumbled.
"It's not dumb! It's rad! It's awesome!" Scootaloo retorted.
"You don't even know what the heck it is!" exclaimed Sweetie Belle. "How can it be awesome?"
"Uh, duh!" Scootaloo rolled her eyes, picking up a nondescript brown book. A prominent government crest sat upon the cover, joined only by the words MOST VERY SPECIAL SECRET. "Because it's in the cool book from Twilight's personal restricted section, duh!" Scootaloo gestured with the book. "And we all know that if the grown-ups don't let us see it, it's awesome! Remember the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders: Moonshine Distillers?'"
"No," answered both other fillies simultaneously. "We don't."
"Exactly! It was great!" Scootaloo tapped the side of her head with a hoof. "Think, girls! The adults said 'no,' we did it anyway, it was awesome! And this stuff now is, like, super forbidden! The book had like 30 pages about how bad it was!" At least, she thought it did. It wasn't like she read them or anything.
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom thought about it for a moment. She did present a solid argument.
"Yeah, I reckon you're right." Apple Bloom shrugged. "What was this crazy stuff called anyway?"
"Uhhhhhhh-" Scootaloo flipped through the brown book. "Oh, yeah! Here it is!" She turned the book around, exposing another wiggly diagram topped with a skull and crossbones. "It's called VX!"
After Twilight reformed the Guard into actual guards, the lack of eye candy resulted in her commissioning a stallion counterpart. (For those playing at home, I'm referring to a canon background pony from the last episode; FoME christened him "Writing Desk" because that's exactly the sort of joke canon names make so I can't really get mad at him for that)
I'm going to yell at you for this one again: Celestia would need to have stayed a blank-flank for around three centuries for this line to make sense. (I know this is a comedy and will deviate from canon as much as it needs to in order to be funny, but a century is more than enough time for six stories worth of noodle incidents to have happened so no such need exists here)
I'm glad that canon progressed in a way that makes jokes like this work. (Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood are such terrible parents that I wouldn't be surprised to learn of a defamation suit coming from Bindi Irwin, and that's just canon. This universe is probably worse.)
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Hay in burgers? That's not how it works; hamburgers are called that because they were invented by a guy from Hamburg, and with the horse pun place name substitution effect we can apply that history to their Equestrian counterpart with no issues.
IT BEGINS
Judging from the tags, it looks like Rarity and Fluttershy are going on another adventure through slightly dysfunctional Equestria.
Let’s see how many notches Rares can get in her musket.
Pfft, you call them all spies and send them to the gulags. Then you call everyone who appointed them ALSO spies and have them shot by firing squad!
(Stalin knew how to PROPERLY perform tax evasion! It only took 40 million fatalities!)
*Alondro follows the gaze into the clouds* They're going to ask God?
*Dash peers over the edge of a cloud* Not quite! But close enough!
Aaaaand, they're doomed.
Every time you publish a chapter I feel even more for Luna. Poor mare, her acclimatization sucks hard
Awesome to know Rainbow's likely an awesome warrior in the guise of a lazy weather worker. One hopes she is at least, I severely doubt this one will go without any murders of the Lawful or Unlawful kind.
I'm still holding out for that shipping though. Maybe LunaDash?
Those two are either going to be the best of friends, lovers or kill each other, I'm certain.
You joke, but both of those positions are way more important than they appear on paper. The jester's penchant for mockery means that they're the one person the king can rely on to tell him when he's making a mistake, while the Groom of the Stool gets the king alone with some regularity so the position has to be extensively vetted... except we're talking about horses right now, and their biology renders such a position irrelevant. (Google "horse butt ketchup bottle" if you don't believe me)
It was at this point that I knew, we were going even further off the rails.
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Oh, you'll be getting plenty of shipping, don't worry. Like, two straight chapters of nothing but pure ship action.
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You're a huge, humongous troll, but I did set me up for that, didn't I?
Love Dash’s solution to coworkers entering her house.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Luna moved to Ponyville full-time after this. Pizza, exercise opportunities, socialization with non-terrible people... The only thing that seems to be stopping her is a lack of funds, and that’s the whole purpose of this ridiculous quest.
Well, lack of funds and not wanting to upset Celestia. Though hopefully her own sister wanting to move out if the castle will be a warning sign for Sunbutt. Canterlot is festering worse than Rarity’s horn.
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It's a sign that I read way too much ponyfiction when my first thought was "wonder how many did Freeport tours"?
You know, I suspect that before this is all over, said minister is going to find out about the events from the previous story, but by that time, he'll have already seen enough of this group's antics that he'll just groan, roll his eyes, remark how he should've expected that, and ultimately just accept it as his lot in life now and simply roll with it.
See, this is why you're best princess, Luna.
Well...I've got a quarter--that should be more than enough to cover that bet.
You know, considering how long Flutters has known Rainbow and how...boisterous...Rainbow tends to be, you'd think she'd have caught word of this at least once before now.
Also, I suppose I owe Luna that quarter now.
That does seem like a perfectly normal sort of conversation those two would have.
Guess who's ordering out for pizza every night as soon as she can secure her fair share of the royal funds?
You know, Luna needs more love. And Pizza.
Thank you. As much as I love Rarity, this was the funniest damn thing I've read all week.
Pizza is nature's perfect food.
Unless some HERETICAL HEATHEN puts PINEAPPLE on it! WHICH DEMANDS DRAWING AND QUARTERING BY BITALIAN LAW!!!
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A heathen is someone of a more minor religion than you. A heretic is someone of notionally the same religion as you who disagrees with the authorities of it. Mind you, combining religious words into total nonsense in order to screw with the religious is fun. That's how we got "the devil" after all!
10859493 All are heretics and heathens, since I alone am perfect and have become the Kiwisalt HardonIraq after sucking down some blue bile from a Mongolian Death Worm.
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Can you elaborate on that tidbit about the devil?
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There are a lot of different guys who got glommed together into what you think of as the devil: Lucifer, whose entire section/rebellion was an intensely metaphorical description of a sunrise. Samael, the guy actually referred to as "Satan" which in context is not only a job title rather than a name but is closer to being a devil's advocate than actual devil. Various pagan gods, because YHVH is more of a jerk than His supporters will ever admit (He let Samael up there torment some random worshipper named Job to make a point about faith). The entire concept of cheating on your spouse, with the possible exception of the "Virgin" Mary (Jesus had siblings, by the way). And none of those include dealmaking, or at least Job never found out because he stayed faithful.