Bubbly Kindness

Derpy tries to reform Cozy Glow instead of her being sent to Tartarus. Cozy finds that the cross-eyed mare is actually more wise than what she looks

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Comments ( 11 )

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Wild Stallion

Wild Stallion #1 · May 3rd, 2021 · 2 · ·

The smell nearly brought a year to Cozy's eye as she sat down, Derpy seeing her smiles as she joined her.

Think you meant to say "tear" as opposed to "year". Regardless it was a pretty nice story.

Also felt like Cozy changed her views really quickly a little too quickly, and with a little less pushback then I would've expected, given the way you set both her character and the story up, but I still enjoyed the basic premise and the lead up anyway.

I appreciate that Muffins listened to Cozy and acknowledged when and where her views were correct, something that didn't happen in the final. And the ending was pretty decent all things considered; if more than a little rushed.

Applefai

Applefai #2 · May 3rd, 2021 · 2 · ·

10798809
Fixed. Thank you kindly for pointing that out. I was using docs and I guess auto correct changed it to year. I'm glad you liked it, I actually may edit this story in the future, I just wanted to try and see if entering contest would help with some inspiration.

Thank you for your feedback.

Wild Stallion

Wild Stallion #3 · May 3rd, 2021 · · ·

10798867

I was using docs and I guess auto correct changed it to year.

Yeah auto correct is pretty weird sometimes. Glad I could help!

Pete100

Pete100 #4 · May 3rd, 2021 · · ·

Although this was very sweet I feel like it was rushed.

Applefai

Applefai #5 · May 3rd, 2021 · · ·

10799786
Duely noted, I might actually add more sometime, I'm not sure.

Glad you liked it

Pete100

Pete100 #6 · May 3rd, 2021 · · ·

10799994
Cool.

asdtroi8895

asdtroi8895 #7 · May 4th, 2021 · · ·

Interesting pairing. It was enjoyable, but felt rushed at times. Cozy changed a bit too quickly from one speech, for example.

Indigo Storyheart

Indigo Storyheart #8 · May 25th, 2021 · 2 · ·

"Friendship is power for you to use for yourself and others, friendship gives you power when you're at your lowest, it reminds you that life is worth living. The friendship you share with others gives them hope for a better tomorrow. Friendship is power to help, not to gain." Derpy said as she finished her muffin and tossed the wrapper in a nearby waste can, leaving Cozy a little stunned.

"I-I didn't think of it like that, a tear runs down Cozy's face. "I-I'm sorry, she began to cry causing Derpy to pull her into a hug. "I had to grow up so quickly, I don't have any parents so I had to be powerful for myself." Cozy said, burying her face in Derpy's chest.

... I feel as though this transited too quickly between these two paragraphs. A couple more paragraphs of Cozy Glow asking questions and Derpy giving wise answers, each one slowly bringing Cozy down to this crying part, would be much better and a little more believable. Good idea, just a little rushed right here.

Applefai