• Member Since 9th May, 2014
  • offline last seen 31 minutes ago

Twilight_Shimmer


The Multiverse. It is a strange place in which there are worlds where things taste like purple and two plus two equals fish and if you divide that by three you get salmon... truly a weird place.

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When ponies break the world, it's Goddess gets annoyed, especially when it gets in the way of things she'd rather be doing like gaming, or watching anime. It would probably surprise them to know what they considered to be "Harmony" the Goddess considered broken.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 2 )

I won't comment too much on the grammatical errors/flow. You seem to be aware of it and the general unedited way it is at the moment.

But this is a fun idea. I liked reading her outrage at the ponies creating a cascading problem with the weather without even realizing they'd utterly broken the previously stable system.

I think you could space out the dialogue a bit more, make it snappy in its own lines while moving a lot of the interior thoughts either to their own sections or condensing it. You could also probably show a bit more of her outrage evolving. Like she was playing her favorite game, then finally gets a notification she can't ignore.

She goes to check on it, and is bewildered at the state of things, investigates, and slowly realized with annoyance/horror that ponies have completely destroyed everything, but she only realizes it's utterly messed up when she watched unicorns raise the sun. Or something.

10766968
Huh, those are some VERY nice ideas! I may have to look into a re-vamp of this, and maybe expanding on it. Like I said in my notes it was just something I wanted to get out there (and out of my head XD). In future iterations (assuming i do one though I most likely will) I wil have friend of mine look it over. though if you (or anyone else who reads this) wants to play around with this setting too, feel free:twilightsmile:

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