While reading about a strange event in the distant past of Equestria, Twilight believes a Darkness that threatened Equestria once will return. Almost as if on cue, several strangers find themselves on the outskirts of Ponyville, but why are they here?
Sonic and Tails discover that the Chaos Emeralds have sent them to a parallel world. Now they must find the scattered Chaos emeralds and get back home before they are missed. Luckily, with the help of a pony named Twilight and another pony wielding a giant key, they may just find all the emeralds.
Sora, Donald, and Goofy have landed in a new world and have been turned into animals. Sora wonders how the Heartless could invade such a beautiful and peaceful world. When he meets up with a strange blue hedgehog, he is one step closer to unraveling the mystery.
Later, the Doctor, Amy, and Rory have fallen into a strange world where magic is treated like science and everyone, including themselves, is a pony. This is one big wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey situation they have all gotten themselves into.
Sonic, DW, AND Ponies?! I gotta read this.
Looking at the word count I can tell that you must have put an obscene amount of effort into this story. However, looking at the description, this story is likely to be riddled with errors. It is 1:00 in the morning and I can't read this now, but you are going to need to get an editor if you want this story to reach it's potential.
1211469 Well you're correct about that, everything is cramped together, not spaced out.
1211499 i know, im not quite sure how FimFiction works Exactly. i just "copy paste" from word. that's all.
1211469 there are most likely going to be a TON of mistakes. mostly at the end because i didn't have an actual editor, just my mom. but o hope you enjoy what you can make of it.
I HEREBY CLAIM FIRST POST!
Wubly story!
I have to say that I found it amusing. (BTW You probably know who I am from my username.)
1211469 i think I've fixed a good amount of them.
1329963
The FIRST WORD in the DESCRIPTION and there is a capitalisation error.
Doesn't need a capital.
You need a has here, after that.
Another capitalisation error.
Themselves is one word, as is outskirts.
Use a full stop and a capital letter here, other wise it doesn't flow right (too many commas)
Should be capitalised.
Doesnt flow right, again. Try using something like 'And on top of that, the Chaos Emeralds had been scattered.
Capitalisation error.
Extra line break here.
You dont need a comma here, and try using Twilight Sparkle's full name, as you are working from the perspective of Sonic and Tails for this part.
Maybe say another newcomer wielding a giant key?
Needs a capital letter.
They've been turned into animals before, so say specifically that they've been turned into ponies.
Needs a capital.
Try using might here, to mix things up.
Another capitalisation error.
Unnecessary.
One word. But this whole sentence would benefit from being reworked, like say ', and they had somehow been turned into ponies.
Needs capital.
You need no commas here, just add the word that at the end.
This is one word.
You probably also need an extra paragraph at the end to wrap up all the different crossover introductions and hint at what exactly is going down in Equestria.
I somehow doubt you fixed a 'good' amount of the errors.
Especially considering I found all of these errors in the description. (they are in order of appearance, so you can fix them easily)
I still haven't read the actual story. But you still get a large amount of credit for trying. Specifically, for trying to do a triple crossover. I would never have the guts to try to do such a thing.
Later, I could wrap up this entire thing by rewriting your entire description for you, but I need to go to sleep.
Oh, and sorry about the obscenely long comment.
1330530 ...
wow. thanks. 1st. the description for the story actually does not reflect the over all quality of the story. when i can i will have to run this by my editor and see if he can fix it real quick. 2nd. if you do get around to reading it, please point out any mistakes that you notice. 3rd. when i say i fixed a good amount of mistakes i should have clarified that i meant the 3rd chapter. and finally, its actually a quadruple crossover. thanks again for pointing out the mistakes in the description, it was something that i wrote in a hurry and did not have time to go back over properly and plus im not the best when it comes to grammer
1331377
The description is probably what is turning off most of your potential readers.Even if it isn't indicative of the quality of the actual story, people are going to assume that it is. It's probably the reason you only have 171 readers.
Well, finally got around to reading this. There are still several major errors that I cant be bothered to point out right now, for example you used English instead of Equestrian in the first chapter, you botched Pinkies introduction in the second chapter, and you seem to be a bit biased towards Sonic, specifically giving him the Ultima Weapon (You also misspelled Ultima as Ultimate) in the third chapter seemed rather forced (When crossing over from multiple sources, try to give each source a similar amount of attention) , and Twilight's letter in the epilogue could use a great deal of finetuning.
It wasn't as plagued with errors as the original description led me to believe, but there's still a lot of work to do before it really lives up to it's potential. I've said it before and I will say it again: kudos for doing a triple crossover. That takes guts. (It's a triple crossover because MLP doesnt count. Pony elements are a given for any story on this site, and it's taken for granted.)
Anyway, that's by no means all of the mistakes I noticed, even if what you've done so far had perfect spelling, grammar and punctuation, it still wouldn't make a great story. If I were to sit here foverhauling your story for a week, by the end of it there might be something feature-box worthy. But I dont have the time, and this is your story. Your execution is what is dragging this story down, and that is what you need to improve.
Anyway, I really botched that advice up. I'm usually a bit better than that. But keep trying and you'll get there eventually.
1437879 if you know any one who would like to edit this for me that would be greatly appreciated.
Dude, it's not Sora's clothing that makes them change, it's Donald's magic, as stated in Kingdom Hearts 1 before going to the Little Mermaid world. Great so far though!
1513588 true but if you remember in kingdom hearts II in the pride lands if you talk to Donald it the beaning g of the world then he say "If Kairi saw you like this, I bet she'd think you were cute! I guess those magical clothes of yours transformed you."
here is a video. go to 4:23 to see it.
1513723 Well I guess that's the game breaking continuity.
This story is AWESOME
I 
it
3098390 well at least one person likes it. thanks.
3116269 no problem
This is really good. I'm glad I read this! Nice job!
*Applauds vigourously*