Discord broke free of his stone prison but minutes before his defeat a human wakes up as a pony in the outskirts of Ponyville atop a cotton candy cloud.
But this was no ordinary pony, this one has chaos magic at her disposal.
Follow her as she travels across Equestria and other worlds beyond as she learns about her new abilities and discovers what her purpose in all this is.
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Im looking forward to seeing more just to see this consept, a consept new in the fact our main character didint rush into town or to discord. The only criticising ive got is it its quite fast paced, and other wise its fine, though alot of pepole would fault this because the MC didnt have a freek out over new body or surroundings, however i have never had a problem because i my self would not care. I apologize for rambleing.
10660469
That's completely fine, I'd love to hear more people's opinions on this story.
I do understand how people would fault this, however I'm mostly basing how the MC reacts to situation off of how I believe I would react. Or at least close enough to how I'd react.
Which is to say, very little surprises me; though having a freak out would be something that surprises me.
I can understand being concerned about going to sleep and then waking up in a completely different place. But the idea of freaking out about having a different body or getting emotional about not being "human" any more is a concept that has been over done.
I can understand being caught off guard about waking up in a new body but i dont think i would have an absolute freak out. And the whole getting emotional about not being "human" anymore and going on a rant about how I'm now a "freak"; I personally don't think I would do that as I don't hold being human on that high of a pedestal. Honestly I think I'd be damn near excited about it, especially if it came with magic; even if it didn't come with magic I would still be happy, at least until I realize that means I have to figure out a world that I have no knowledge of.
Though I think I would be more concerned and maybe a little pissed off than freaked out if i ended up in a new world as something that didn't have magic or at least a weapon or natural weapon to defend myself with because then there wouldn't be much to study about myself.
And as to my story starting off fast, I personally believe that if you start a story slow it has a higher chance of staying slow.
I would rather start off a little fast and then slow down because it would make it easier for me to fluctuate between the two without losing too much speed; because losing speed is one of the biggest problems I see in some fictions that I have read.
Another problem with starting out slow is that it can cause quite a few authors to lose interest in their stories, especially if they end up in a situation where their story doesn't pick up speed.
I don't want that to happen to one of my stories, I mean who would?
But again I understand where you're coming from.
10660540
Well thats sound reasoning, and im glad you've got a plan. And yeah i can agree that it is a little over done and sometimes realy annoying because offten times the MC is completely unreasonable and cant get over it. Cant wait to see how it turns out.
10660540
I think the reaction is refreshing.
I'm tired of reading the same thing written 50 different ways. There are hundreds of versions of OC wakes out and looses their shit over, (list of things). Its old and I never felt it was even a reasonable reaction.
Just like, "I'm not going to give you my name." Why? Afraid they will look you up on the FBI database? They don't have one. And if they did, YOU wouldn't be in it. A lot of Authors do this.
Or the shock and fear of the ponies. Pastel colored ponies with neon hair.....The size of a golden retriever. Oh, yeah, terrifying.
So, keep up the great work.
The Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart
Heck Yeah!
I thought she was in Screw Balls Body but I guess not
Plus this is off in a good start.
This is very nice
I’m so glad it’s not one of those inappropriate fanfic
I love how calm it is in the start of the fanfic so it can be crazy later in the next chapter
Just say that your Dad is an Earth Pony while your Mom is a Draconequus
Oooo nooo
I just realize there’s no new chapters for me to read yet (T-T)
Hahah Great chapter I love this can’t wait for the next one
I love this chapter good job hahah
I think Fizzle Float is turning evil. She deserves a spanking.
Awesome chapter and I can’t wait for the next one
10806875
That she does, but I wouldn't say that she's turning evil. She only wanted to scare the ponies, she didn't expect then to retaliate so early.
She fought back of course because she wanted to test herself. I know that seems evil, but think about it; she has chaos magic that she can't really test unless there's somepony to oppose her.
I'm going to explain a little about why she got carried away in this chapter; you see, chaos magic affects whatever it's directed at, but it also affects the user to an extent as well, that's all I'll say. I'll go into more detail on that bit of information in a later chapter.
As to her sexual acts in this chapter; she's not the type to shy away from such things, she's not going to be a character that forces abstinence on herself, but she's also not going to go around looking for to for sex either. If I do more inappropriate (as some would call it) scenes, it'll more than likely be every few chapters; I'm not going to turn this story into one of those fetish kinds.
FizzleFloat hitting ponies in their genitals, regardless if they're male or female; it's just something that I see her doing.
10807165
My knowledge of chaos comes from Dadonequus. Chaos is as chaos does. All chaos spells must complete, there is no cancelling. If you're not careful, you'll end up cursing yourself.
10806875
Nah, she ain't evil. Just very Chaotic Neutral. From a humans pov with that much power, that would be something I would do. It's a very human thing to do, a chaotic human thing, but still a human thing.
So, she quite clearly going insane. In quite literal sense. Or were she like this from the start? Lack of empathy can lead her to very dark places and not the fun ones either. What she did with that mare and especially colt is fucked up and not fun at all.
Smooth Shot almost deserved his entire punishment, though. --_--
10812023
That's not chaos, that's insanity in its clinical sense. But indeed quite a few may end up like this would they acquire this power. Not sure chaos wielders have to be insane, but it's very easy to end up one when you can do just about anything.
She is going to have a hell of a time not being turned to stone for sterilizing the stallions.
I can't wait to see what happens next.
Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart
I hope he/she will get out of it and realize that it’s a Colt doing pranks
Rip.
I really hope this story continues. It's exciting, funny, and a little kinky.
Should also mention that this part actually made me burst out laughing.
10807165
Painfully sterilizing ponies for fun is not something I'd call "not evil" lol
I think you've made your main character at the very least a sociopath
what? discord is definitely a monster by many standard. at best he's equal to greek god, which is still shitty.
When the next chapter?
This is fanfic where MC _not_ going to Ponyville. I don't remember I've seen another one like this.
More
*winces* Ooh boy, that's gonna bite him in the rump later down the line.
Good Lord, this colt seriously needs to lay off the Play Colt magazines (Do magazines exist in Equestria at this time? Hmm... That's something to think about), cause I have a feeling that his life is not going to be pretty in the future.
I hope the next chapter is going to be amazing, keep up the good work if you can!