It is the best day of his life, and he cannot take his eyes off of her. He cannot do anything more than gaze at her and try not to cry at the joy he's feeling.
Nothing could keep this day from being the best of his life.
This was an experiment I did to try and clear some of the junk out of my head, let me know how/what you feel about it.
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Niiiiiice prose piece homie!
Keep it up!
~ Yr. Pal, B
Indeed nice work.
What... just... no...
10583172
Yeah man
Hold on, I need to make sure I understand first. One sec.
10583198
The idea came to me, and I liked it enough to put the words to it :shrug:
10583202
The idea of making a scene with no dialog or having her walk out on him which hurts.... or am I misunderstanding that. Im guessing both.
10583219
The scene, the rest is because I wanted it to be special
10583220
Well done... Well done. I am sad and confused.
10583220
I need a happy love story now...
Because of this, i kinda wanna double down on that love idea where Cadance is a changeling servant and shining falls for her, then she is given to another noble and shining has to duel him for her. I know it sounds stupid but...
However, I want to save that for a big project I want to do when I'm good enough.
A strange approach, but it was interesting nonetheless.
I see what you did there.
I didn't really feel moved myself, but don't take that as much of an indicator. I was expecting it to be the pre-Chrysalis's reveal ceremony, then was a little confused when the scene diverged from the episode without any explanation and then ended. I was expecting something like,
I also feel like you kinda cheated on the 'no dialogue' part because everyone is still talking, even Shining Armor.
You might take this to be nitpicking, and if so, fair enough. For no dialogue, I would imagine Shining to be in such a bewildered state that everything is a blur around him and noises are indistinct. He would see Cadence walking to him, see Celestia's lips moving, see Celestia looking at him expectantly and smile goofily and nod, see Cadence give her answer with a nod or shake of her head, but without acknowledging that words were said (from his perspective). A similar state to shell shock, I suppose.
Was still a good read, don't get me wrong. Looking forward to your next story!
10583356
An excellent point on the last bit, and the main reason I was so hesitant to say that this was no-dialogue. I think it's closer to implied-only dialogue that the reader should be able to fill in the blanks of easily instead of outright no dialogue. But that's not a common practice, issit
But yeah, much more 'Implicated dialogue' than 'no-dialogue'.