It cooks! It cleans! It doesn't actually do that! But it does shoot real good!
Since the dawn of time, ponies have asked themselves the important questions: Why are we here? What is my purpose? What is that fastest way to blast a hole through my kitchen door? Science has the answer! And the answer is gun.
Now join the most purple of princesses on a magical adventure! With proper application of gun, there's no problem that can't be solved!
Contains: Cursing, sexual innuendo, gun.
11/15/2020: Updated description to be more descriptive.
Note: I didn't change the Japanese text for the cover art. If you can read Japanese please pretend they all say gun so that everyone thinks I'm cool.
Chapters (10)
Gun, truly the most versatile and powerful spell a Wizard can know.
for her neutral special, she wields a gun
This is based on persona?
"...THE ALL NEW KITCHEN GUN!!!!!!!!!!"
"I CAST FIST!" -Marneus Calgar, 999 M41ish
I laughed out loud at the title alone. Loved the Rarity and Sweetie Belle bit. By this chapter, I'm laughing in spite of myself. Gun violence is not funny. This story is hilarious.
10533199
Not really, just inspired by the 10532983 quote a bit.
10533219
Gotta love the classics. Thanks for the excuse to watch it again!
10533575
Glad you're enjoying it! New chapter coming soon-ish. Probably tomorrow.
Note: I didn't change the Japanese text for the cover art. If you can read Japanese please pretend they all say gun so that everyone thinks I'm cool
Hahahhahahah
.... I... What!?
10534717
That's the appropriate reaction. Fluttershy tends to get kicked around a lot, so I wanted to give her a sharp tongue.
A truly mag-nificant story my good sir.
someone is gonna cast fist at her and then she'll be sorry
10538201
It would take a wizard of quite supreme ability.
This was the best part ever!!!
10539377
Glad you liked it! Originally I was just gonna have Trixie pop in while Celestia was visiting an orphanage and start screaming some choice insults for the kiddies, but I decided to go with this idea instead.
"The sky above Canterlot was quickly filled by Twilight Sparkle, now three times the height of Stultius as she hovered there. She charged her horn, and let loose her final spell."
It's like the end of Rainbow Rocks.
HOW DO YOU MISSPELL FLUTTERSHY 4 TIMES IN A ROW???
"BANG! BANG! BANG! I LOVE YOU, KITCHEN GUN!"
That's all I could think of when I read that
bang bang, Sunset
10553887
I'm a man of means by no means.
Which is to say I don't know.
10535953
I know, one of truly high caliber!
10667301
lol, nice one
And yet I could still kill twilight before she uses the spell as it has a huge glaring flaw
Well it certainly lives up to its random tag that’s for sure
I read about the origin of the word gun on Wikipedia. I didn't fact check it. I'm the unconfirmed source your history teacher warned you about.
Neat!
That teacher was always a chode...and extremely creepy towards underaged children, so fuck him.
10763050
I... never would have guessed that was as close to Wikipedia as it was if you had not mentioned it. I assumed (something I especially try to avoid) that you were just throwing in a thin excuse for why they were using a human word for something without lead, gunpowder, or a barrel. Maybe I'm not explaining that last bit very well, but I can't tell.
Just found this. This was a delightfully stupid read, that's for sure. At first I didn't feel the story that much (or the lack thereof), but it picked up towards the middle, and stayed idiotic throughout. Well done, sir.
Also, I have a snagging feeling that you might like Bayonetta a little.
11027979
lol glad you enjoyed it. Honestly I'm not super proud of it, cause it leans a little too hard into the stupid for the humor.
And yeah, I'm a bit of a fan of the Platinum Games brand of over the top outrageous action.
the twilight?
11122215
Fixed ty
This is Beauty
simply phenomenal.