This story is a sequel to Guardian
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This story is a sequel to Guardian and the novella Doom Slayer
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Oh holy Seraphim, firstborns of the Light, keepers of heaven, earth, and the souls of men. . .
hear thee now, the words of our final oath. . .
On the day when evil should darken the skies of paradise.
On the day when all hope has fled.
On the day when wisdom, love, and friendship are not enough.
On that day when you are most alone.
Call to us.
On that day, when the shadows lengthen, and when despair eclipses all light, WE shall hear you. . .
Where wisdom falters, we shall bring destruction.
Where compassion fails, we shall bring ruin.
Where hope dwindles, we shall bring wrath.
And where evil treads. . . we shall bring death.
This we vow oh Seraphim. . .
For our number is Legion, and our name. . . is DOOM.
FUking Y E S
This story: Released
Me:
The Demons and the Dark Lord himself are Super, Super, Super, Super, and SUPER F****** right about now!!!!!!!
I normally don't post at all on this website, I'm plenty pleased to be a lurker, but I feel the need to give my opinion even if unwanted or redundant.
It's ok. Your author's note expressed a lot of feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, something we all feel to different degrees. Each story has its own strengths and weaknesses, just like individuals do. None of these distract, at all, from the experience of knowing them, rather these subtle qualities magnify them. As it stands, not to put down the quality of any particular story, but I personally perfer the feel and prose of your tale of the Doom Slayer to that of other's about Everyday Life with Gaurds Mares. Regardless, its normal to have times of overabundant emotion or distracted mentalities. Take your time and sort through it, and remember that it will be ok. Afterall, a random idiot on the internet said it would be.
Just to reiterate, I LOVE this story and Derran Grendel. It's very entertaining and helps me wind down with the stresses of my daily life. I have no problem with waiting for more. Keep up the good work, my friend.
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Thank you so much for the wonderful praise and words of reassurance, and not to worry, I'm fine now. I let my insecurities get the best of me for a bit, but I already feel better. Self confidence has, unfortunately, never been a strong point of mine, I worry easily about things beyond my control, and get discouraged when things don't go according to the plan in my head (Small wonder I have such an affinity for a certain purple angel). Honestly though, I only related the story in the authors notes because I felt it was something worth sharing with all of you. . . like my own kind of letter to Celestia I suppose.
I found my peace just knowing that Everyday Life With Guardsmares, was in fact the product of years of effort, not just a few months. Knowing that the story was the result of a guy not so different from me just working hard, turned its rapid success from demoralizing to inspiring. Besides, as you pointed out, my story is different from Everyday Life With Guardsmares, I have my own style and method, and its meant to appeal to a different kind of audience. So not to worry, I still believe in what I create, and while I may sometimes metaphorically trip over my own feet, I never stay down for long.
Oh damn
Awesome story bro. I enjoyed Guardian and Doom Slayer, and I got to say, for the first chapter of this third and final story, a pretty damn good start. Keep it up. Can't wait for the next chapter.
I like the Halo: Reach style cover art. Very cool.
Pog the sequel is here
OH YEAH!
I spam read your whole guardian story and am now in love with this series!
Keep it up!
Hey Thule, got a tune I think would be great for the Doom Slayer if he ever needs to rally a force of enraged solders for battle: March of Cambreadth
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Thank you for the suggestion, I love it! And it is already giving me a few ideas. I wonder if I could find a metal version of it somewhere? The song would sound even more amazing with some electric guitar chords backing up the bagpipes and drums.
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Never found a version like that myself, but I imagine it shouldn't be hard to find. Glad to hear it's giving you ideas though! I'm currently reading through Guardian, and while that portrayal of the Doom Slayer took a bit to get used to, I'm really enjoying it. Looking forward to seeing what March of Cambreadth has inspired in this story.
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Hey, I know that song! The Warhammer fandom has adopted it as the themesong for the Tanith First and Only.
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I can think of no more fitting song for the Ghosts of Tanith.
Welp can’t wait to see the chapters for this story come out! Keep up the good work!
sup. yeah I can understand what was going on with everyday life with guards mares. I just binged it before starting here. and I have to agree it is pretty great. but I also have to acknowledge that you found out how long it had been going on before you saw it here. the best lesson from this is that jealousy is often not about seeing something you don't have but failing to see what was gone through to acquire it. when you thought it was thrown up so rapidly you were jealous of bobbles' skill. when you saw it was years in production I'm sure your perspective changed.
as for your work. it is great. I really have to say I enjoy your action and I like the situational interplay that you have with the main characters.
(I did actually tend to skim through the action in guards mares. that is not what I was really there for.) which brings me to a point I think is important. you both have different theme focuses. while character development and interaction is important to any story you need to focus on 'what is best for the theme this story has established' and not so much 'how can I emulate bobbles' writing in characters depth'. his story is a slow burn and that is fine but I don't think a slow burn would work here, especially with the stories perchance for high-intensity violence. I have no problems with the pacing and content of this chapter but I would think it is the closest to slice of life you should get.
remember that I come to this story to read Thule's style of writing.
other than that please continue and I look forward to enjoying more of your work.
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Thank you for the kind insight and complementary words. I largely came to the same conclusions, and you're right, I felt much better when I saw how much effort went into Guardsmares. That said, I was never really interested in aping Guardsmare's narrative style. As you said, I write action stories, and whatever slice of life (if you can even really call it that) I do, is generally meant to establish stakes and context before the action ramps up, it's important to the story and I want to do it well, but its not my focus. Legion's story, like Guardian, will have a period of buildup before it really gets going, but once it does, the action isn't going to stop, save for little pauses here and there for my readers to catch their breath. I admire Everyday Life With Guardsmares, and hold it up as an example of how good drama, world building, and character driven storytelling is done, but I never wanted to copy it. Because as much as I love the ideas of Guardsmares, to me there is no greater joy than knowing that while the enemy may have an army, 'I' have a Doom Marine. . . .
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I am glad to hear that. just felt I needed to head that off if it was the case. otherwise yeah. good job keep it up.
Whelp, somepony better go fire up the orbital friendship cannons.
I think I've found a song here that would fit this Doom Slayer well, Aviator's "Requiem for the King".https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymWI4magKio
It was originally inspired by the Ivory King from Darksouls 2, a character who would probably get along well with Daren to be honest. I can't say what he was like myself better than one of the comments on that song, so I'll just quote it here:
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This song is gorgeous, and it really does remind me of Derran's character, thank you so much for sharing it with me. I'm a huge Dark Souls and Bloodborne fan, and I remember when I first heard the heroic and tragic story of the Ivory King. I believe you are correct, and that Derran and he would have gotten along. The true king knows that to sacrifice for his people is his greatest calling, it says a lot that even in a world like that of Dark Souls, there was one king whom, even unto the very end, never forgot that.
ah the dichotomy of trying to make a perfect world within an imperfect one.
Well, my question regarding the hippogriffs from the last story has been answered.
Also,
I’m looking forward to the interaction between Derran and Smolder.
And finally,
Every young man’s nightmare!!!
well someone has some unresolved issues. How much would therapy for the doomguy cost?
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how much does a giant bouncy castle cost?
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That depends. What's the price of a pet rabbit these days?
Just imagine how Sunset (Reformed/Unreformed) or the Sirens would react to Derran. The Sirens would most likely meet a swift end, while Sunset, depending on if she is either Reformed or Unreformed, would either be congratulated on over coming her darkness, or scared straight.
Don't know how I missed this. Got you followed, but never got alerted of this. Well, that complicates my plans for the day. XD Time for catch-up.
You know, I kind of hope this somehow leads into a redemption for Chrysalis.
Liking this so far. Do you intend to include the nations and species from the recent official comic updates? A lot of new lands and even species have been introduced there. (Will probably have to continue reading the rest tomorrow though. Bleh to lack of time.)
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Unfortunately I haven't had the opportunity to read the comics yet. Though if I get the chance to read them, I might mention in passing some of what's in them, or perhaps put them in some followup short stories when Legion is concluded. That said, this story will tell you a bit more about Derran's homeworld and the cultures I invented for it.
im sure celestia's reason for subjecting Derran to this is interesting. but i can't for the life of me figure out what that reason is.
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I think I know a certain yellow pegasus who could help him with that, at no charge.
lol Cute chapter.^^
Aw, little Dinky has a big brother now. That's adorable
wow. i was really into that chapter and then it just ended. was a bit jarring but enjoyable.
Trouble is stirring, and I don't like it for once
This is going to end horribly for everyone.
I get a feeling that the initial behaviour of the humans on arrival is likely to make Grandel and his wives a bit peevish.
YUS, mah boi is back!! Can't wait to read this.
"FOR HUMANITY!!"
...you poor dumb fools...I pity them...i REALLY do...
Ooooh shit this is gonna backfire hard..... I don't think DG, nor his herdmates, nor just about every being in equestria is gonna be too happy about this.
Throne damn it, this flew completely under my radar for way too long!
Can’t wait for the next update
I wish it was Legion from Mass Effect. My geth bro is awesome.
I wonder if Doom Slayer take a trip visit to the EG world
Yep... this is definitely not going to end well. Hayden might try some sort of diplomacy. His entourage will inevitably try gunboat diplomacy. And the demons will get curious about where all these people are going...
...yeah, I think somepony's going to wind up peevish.
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Yeah I've always wanted to see Sunset's reaction to the Doom Slayer marrying Celestia and Luna, being Twilight's Stallion friend, and all of his adventures.
Why does Hayden have to go and ruin everything?