Recap and Reconciliation
“TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!” The Hogwarts Express blared as the conductor bellowed, “All aboard for London!”
One by the one the students of Hogwarts piled onto the train once more, each looking forward to a few months of rest and relaxation before yet another school year began. The wardrobes had been emptied, trunks filled and notes had been distributed to all students instructing them not to use magic over the holidays unless under the supervision of an adult mage and strictly not anywhere in public where a muggle might witness such actions.
For the Crusaders, in their terms anyway, it had been a relatively quiet final week of term. That was aside from the acromantlua that had escaped the Forbidden Forest last Sunday, the tree sap incident on Tuesday and finally, the House Cup celebrations yesterday.
Hufflepuff hadn’t just won the House Cup, they’d annihilated the other houses gaining a record one thousand one hundred and eleven points in total after some final points for Scootaloo’s actions against Quirrell. To put this in perspective, even after some additional points for Harry, Hermione, Ron and for some reason Neville after the parts they’d played in stopping Quirrell, Gryffindor had only managed four hundred and eighty-two points. Even so, simply for the fact Slytherin had been prevented from winning the House Cup for a seventh year in a row and that school was over for two whole months, everyone aside the Slytherins had been in a celebratory mood.
It had been yet another evening Scootaloo would never forget from the most unbelievable year of her life so far. One of the highlights of the whole evening, apart from the food, was when she’d pulled Hermione from her seat and performed the black swan solo from Swan Lake before kissing her in front of the entire school, much to the other girl’s embarrassment. This had then been topped though by Professor Sprout dancing like a loon on top of the teachers' table with the House Cup on her head like a hat screaming we are number one before kissing Discord on the lips much to his surprise and horror.
“Hey Scoots! Will you stop daydreaming for a moment and get over here? We found an empty compartment,” Apple Bloom suddenly yelled from further down the train snapping Scootaloo out of her memories and back to the present.
As Scootaloo squeezed into the cramped compartment in between Apple Bloom and Hermione, while trying her best not to step on Wallace who was already sleeping peacefully on the floor, she wondered what they were going to do for the next six or so hours.
“What took you so long?” Hermione chided as the train gave one final loud toot before it started making the long journey back to London.
“Just daydreaming. Can’t believe it’s been nearly a whole year already since Discord appeared in my life and whisked us away from Equestria,” Scootaloo replied whimsically.
“I know; I can’t believe how quickly our first year has gone as well. Let’s just hope there are no evil lunatics next year,” Hermione replied.
“Definitely, now, we’ve six hours or more of boredom to kill; what would you like to do? Epic exploding snap marathon? Do some reading together? Reminisce about the school year? Find a quiet corner and you know?” Scootaloo finished with a smirk as Hermione’s face momentarily turned bright red.
It did not take long though for her to regain her composure though and respond in a sly tone, “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Sorry, you know I’m not that easy. You’ll have to try harder for your kisses.”
“Worth a try,” Scootaloo said with a shrug of her shoulders before placing one hand beneath her girlfriend’s chin and booping her nose with one of her fingers on her opposite hand. “You know I like a challenge anyway,” she said seductively before releasing Hermione’s face as Apple Bloom interjected.
“Save it till later you two, a lot later,” Apple Bloom deadpanned while rolling her eyes. “Now, you two in, or what?” she said shuffling a deck of cards.
“Of course!” Scootaloo exclaimed with a look determination. “Once I show my girlfriend just how awesome I am at Exploding Snap she’ll be begging me for a kiss.”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes again while Ron and Harry tittered across from the girls.
“How many games is it now Harry?” Ron said turning his head to the other boy next to him.
“184,” Harry deadpanned as the Crusaders all looked curiously at the two boys.
“And how many has she lost?” Ron requested.
“Zero,” Harry deadpanned once more. “Trust me, we’ve tried everything, but you just can’t beat Hermione at Exploding Snap. She’s won more sweets off us than Sugarplums sweets shop!”
Hermione crossed her arms and glowered at the two boys.
Scootaloo’s smirk grew wider. “What part of 'I like a challenge' don’t you understand?”
Hermione turned and faced her girlfriend before saying coolly, “It’s your sweets and chocolate you are wasting.”
“Pfft, no one has quicker reactions than me aside Rainbow Dash. Bring it on!” Scootaloo said determinedly pushing her face into that of her girlfriend’s.
“Oh yeah?” Hermione questioned not backing down.
“Yeah!” Scootaloo retorted. “Apple Bloom, deal the cards.”
“No, just no,” Apple Bloom stated firmly putting the cards away. “I’ve seen enough of you two competing with each other over the past year to know that letting such a debacle go ahead, especially in such a cramped space, is only going to lead to trouble. Save your competition for when we are not cooped up like sardines and preferably when I am nowhere in the vicinity.”
Hermione let out a giggle as Scootaloo pouted crossing her arms over her chest.
“Fine,” Scootaloo eventually huffed. “But what else have we got to do?”
“Ooh, ooh. I know!” Sweetie chimed opposite her. “How about we go around and each recall our best, worst and funniest moment of the year. I’ll go first.” And, not waiting for any objections, Sweetie began. “Worst moment by far was the whole Potions debacle at the start of term,” she said morosely.
“Well, you were warned after you nearly burnt down the Burrow,” Apple Bloom said frankly in reply.
“Although it did confirm just how psychologically unstable your sister is,” Scootaloo stated. “Didn’t she threaten to cut off both your hands and then shove them up your arse?”
Sweetie shivered. “Don’t remind me. And, no, she was going to cut off my hands and then shove my horn up my arse, I think while still attached to my head.”
Scootaloo grimaced. “Yeah, ouch, that does not sound nice. I think on that note we should swiftly move on. Best moment?” Scootaloo asked.
“Hmmm.” Sweetie thought for a moment. “Either receiving Wallace or my performance in our first quidditch match, probably just the latter even in spite of the broken foot.”
“Oh yeah, you were immense against Ravenclaw,” Scootaloo replied. “That goal you scored was ridiculous!”
“Agreed,” Harry and Ron said simultaneously.
“Yep, and thirty-seven saves to my name as well. A Hogwarts record along with the first keeper to ever score in a match,” Sweetie said with a huge smile. “Now, as for funniest moment, that’s a trickier one, but two moments for me stick out more than the others. Hermione, did Scootaloo tell you what happened the night of my birthday?”
Hermione looked at Sweetie somewhat puzzled. “No? What happened?”
“Don’t you dare,” Scoootaloo growled.
“Oh, now I’ve got to hear this,” Hermione said forcing a hand over her girlfriend’s mouth to stop her interrupting.
“Well,” Sweetie began, “I was trying to give Wallace a bath,”
The dogs head instantly shot up, eyes wide in alarm.
“No, Wallace, I’m not giving you a bath now you silly mutt, go back to sleep,” Sweetie sighed pushing the dog's head back beneath her legs.
Wallace gave out another mighty yawn before settling back down to sleep as Scootaloo tried to protest some more but with Hermione’s hand over her mouth all that came out were muffled grunts.
“Just ignore grumpy pants. Go on,” Hermione instructed.
“Well, as you could probably tell by his reaction, Wallace is not a fan of baths and after he escaped my grasp one too many times a certain Pegasus decided to goad me. This was the result,” Sweetie pulled out a photo from her robes and handed it to Hermione who shoved Scootaloo away from her as she desperately attempted to intercept the photo.
Hermione bellowed with laughter as she took in the sight of her macho girlfriend in a dress with permed hair and a pink bow. Ron snatched it off her before Scootaloo could and he and Harry also broke out into fits of giggles.
“Oh, that’s priceless,” Harry managed to eke out as Scootaloo grumbled mutinously under her breath.
“I know right?” Sweetie said taking careful possession of the photo once more. “Still, I don’t think anything could beat Christmas Eve. After how dogged she’d been at denying,” Sweetie began only for Scootaloo to interrupt.
“That’s enough. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop right there.”
“Grrrrrrrrrrrrr” Wallace growled.
“You were saying?” Sweetie said smugly as Scootaloo eyed the massive beast on the floor. Even though he was just a puppy she still didn’t fancy her chances against Wallace. So, for once in her life, she took the wise option and sat in silence while giving Sweetie a death glare to try and put her off from what she was about to say. It didn’t work and didn’t faze the other girl in the slightest. “Now, where was I. Ah, yes! So, me and Apple Bloom had been bombarding and teasing Scootaloo for a week to reveal her relationship with Hermione and then, after all the hard work and effort she’d gone through in denying it she goes and mumbles in her sleep, oh Hermione, I’ll help you with your kissing studies.” The carriage fell into raucous laughter as Scootaloo tried to bury her head in shame, her cheeks turning red.
“I hate you so much,” Scootaloo mumbled into her hands.
After a while, once everyone had got their breaths back, Harry said, “My word, I’m not sure if anything will top that, but let me see. Personally, for me, the funniest moment was when I caught site of Malfoy being taken to the infirmary by Professor Sprout with the head of an ass.” The boy finished as a smaller round of laughter broke out around the carriage.
“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Scootaloo said after a short while, finally able to hold back her laughter. “Professor Sprout may have played a part in that,” she added.
“What do you mean?” Harry pressed.
“Well, it was just after the whole Poison Joke debacle with Snape that revealed mine and Hermione’s relationship to the whole school. I was coming out of my extra Herbology lesson with the Slytherins and Malfoy couldn’t help but call us disgusting freaks. Unbeknownst to him Professor Sprout was right behind him and he got dragged back into the greenhouses for detention.”
“Oh yeah, I remember that. She may have accidentally pushed him into the Poison Joke. Completely accidental, of course,” Hermione cut in finishing Scootaloo’s story as more laughter reverberated around the carriage.
“Serves the bully right,” Harry wheezed as he tried to get control of his body before going on. “Right, now where was I? Best and worst moments of the year. Undeniably the worst thing for me in the entire year was Quirrell and Voldemort and I’m just glad we managed to stop the both of them.”
“For now,” Scootaloo interrupted as the mood in the carriage swiftly changed and a sombre silence hung in the air.
“Yeah, well, hopefully if we keep delaying his return, he’ll give up eventually and never return,” Harry replied optimistically.
“We can only hope,” Scootaloo said sombrely.
“Can we please move on? This topic is depressing,” Apple Bloom said brusquely before adding, “Or I’ll get Sweetie to sing another song.”
“HEY!” Sweetie admonished indignantly.
Harry groaned, “Please no, Christmas was bad enough. At least I know what we can use on Voldemort the next time he reappears.”
“HEY!” Sweetie interjected once more as Ron broke out into yet another laughing fit next to Harry. “My singing is not that bad and as I told you before, it just sort of happens. It would be funny though to see the evilest wizard of all time break out into a spontaneous song and dance routine.”
Even more stifled giggles reverberated around the carriage as the image lodged itself into all the students’ brains.
“It certainly would be different,” Harry said. “Anyway, my best moment was Christmas by far. Exams a distant nightmare, awesome food, snowball fights and for the first time ever, presents! Scootaloo, how about you?”
“Good call,” Scootaloo replied. “For me it’s a really tough one, but my overall favourite moment of the year was the final quidditch match where I caught the snitch just in time to win us the match and the cup. YOW!” She finished rubbing her arm as Hermione punched it.
“If you really want that kiss you are going the wrong way about it,” she huffed with mock hurt. “And there was me going to say my best moment was when we kissed for the first time above the clouds before Discord rudely interrupted us. Think I might change that to my exam results. Still, I suppose I can’t be too angry. That was a pretty epic take and you did bring a lot of joy to Professor Sprout.”
“Yeah, sorry, if it makes you feel any better embarrassing you throughout the year was probably second on the list,” Scootaloo giggled as Hermione playfully punched her girlfriend’s arm once more.
“Oh, that reminds me. My funniest moments of the year were dumping that bucket of water atop your head after the pony lesson and seeing you in a tutu last week. Oops, was that last one meant to be a secret, too bad,” Hermione shot back.
Scootaloo’s eyes went wide as Sweetie said between chortles from across the carriage. “I was wondering how you got so good at dancing at the feast last night.”
“Yeah, she has a secret interest in…” Hermione never finished as this time it was Scootaloo’s turn to shove her hands over Hermione’s mouth.
Sweetie was practically doubling over with laughter. “You two are just perfect for each other,” she managed to wheeze.
“Sometimes I wonder,” Scootaloo grumbled removing her hand.
“By the way it's ballet she has a secret interest in. I once caught her practicing in one of our barns during a rainstorm,” Apple Bloom nipped in with a knowing grin.
Scootaloo’s head hit her hands. “I give up. Who else wants to add to the embarrassing moments of Scootaloo’s first year?” She said in a muffled tone.
“Erm, w-well, in hindsight, I did find you falling atop the spiky bush in Herbology somewhat funny,” Neville’s nervous voice eked out for the first time next to Apple Bloom.
Everyone, aside from Scootaloo, broke out into yet more laughter upon remembering the poor girl’s misfortune in that Herbology lesson.
Scootaloo groaned; this was going to be a long train ride home.
*
It was indeed a long and tiring train ride to London. Other notable memories that were shared over the course of the trip included the crusaders' cutie marks and pony forms, Apple Bloom’s unhealthy obsession with food, explosives and throwing people and trolls into the lake, Applejack in lingerie, the mascot costume, Scootaloo’s upgrades, Valentine’s day, the many forms of Sweetie Belle (Sweetie Bubbelle, Swampy Belle, Snow Belle the Snow Girl, Spectral Belle and Scootaloo’s personal favourite, Squeaky Belle), DADA, Wally, the quidditch celebrations, Scootaloo’s ankle lock, Neville and Apple Bloom’s relationship, the Forbidden Forest, Hagrid and more. Scootaloo had also regaled the carriage with the story of how she, Sweetie and Bloom had ended up in this dimension.
Afterward, Scootaloo and Hermione decided to compete to see who could eat the most Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. It had not ended well after Hermione had got vomit followed by stilton and then sweaty socks. Thankfully, this time she managed to get to the bathroom in time. To be fair to Scootaloo, she herself had had to deal with cat’s piss, curdled milk and horse, the latter of which had actually taken the young seer by surprise.
It was much to everyone’s relief when they at last pulled into Kings Cross station, especially for Apple Bloom as in the final hour Scootaloo had fallen asleep and had been using her shoulder as an impromptu pillow while driving everyone mad with her snoring.
Apple Bloom had been only too happy to shove the drooling Pegasus girl off her shoulder and onto the floor after Sweetie had taken Wallace out.
“What? Huh?” Scootaloo said in a daze rising from the floor of the carriage.
“Rise and shine sleepy head; we’re here,” Apple Bloom cried jumping from her seat. “Come on, everyone else has gone to get our luggage.”
Scootaloo gave a loud yawn and tried to get the awful crick out of her neck.
“Did you really need to shove me so hard?” she grumbled as they made their way out of the carriage and onto the platform.
“After you used my shoulder as a pillow while snoring like a bear in between mumbling sweet nothings about Hermione for the past hour? Yes, yes, I did,” Apple Bloom retorted.
Scootaloo’s cheeks started to glow red but before she could press her friend for further information Sweetie’s voice intervened.
“Hey girls over here!”
Slowly Scootaloo and Apple Bloom joined the rest of their friends in a long queue awaiting their turn to exit. A wizened old guard was only letting them pass through the wall two or three students at a time so as not to attract attention from and alarm the muggles.
“So, Scootaloo, how was your dream? Did you save Princess Hermione from the evil frost dragon?” Hermione tittered.
Scootaloo’s cheeks went scarlet.
“Yes. She was just attempting to kiss the princess, who she mistakenly took for me, when I shoved her onto the floor,” Apple Bloom replied for Scootaloo to yet more laughter from the group of students. Scootaloo was trying to hide herself in her coat.
“Why am I friends with you lot?” she groused.
“Because no one else can tolerate you,” Hermione taunted as they edged ever closer to the wall.
It couldn’t get close enough quick enough for poor Scootaloo but finally it was their turn and in a couple of groups they made their way out onto the other side of the wall. A crowd of people were waiting, all craftily making it look like they were awaiting a train, and almost as soon as they emerged, they heard Ginny’s voice.
“Over here,” she squealed waving her hand in the air. “Mum, look, it’s the Harry Potter.”
“Quiet Ginny,” Molly chided walking over. “Have we said our goodbyes? Harry, Hermione, Neville, you know you are all welcome to visit if your guardians permit it over the summer.”
“Thanks Mrs. Weasley, and especially for the fudge and jumper,” Harry replied as a hand grabbed his arm.
“Come along, boy; you’ve kept us waiting long enough,” Vernon growled as he began to drag Harry away.
“I’ll see you over the summer,” Harry called as he slowly disappeared from view.
“How peculiar,” Molly commented. “Anyway, we had better be getting a move on also. Hermione, Neville, you all right waiting by yourselves?”
“Don’t you worry, dear; I’ll keep an eye on them till Miss Granger’s parents arrive,” Augusta Longbottom’s stern voice echoed as she approached the group. “Hello Neville, I am glad to see you have been making some friends although I’m sorry to say you are grounded for the entire summer after that whole nighttime wandering debacle.”
“Yes Grandma,” Neville sighed. “Could Apple Bloom at least be allowed to visit? Even if just for a short while or to help with my summer studies,” the boy pleaded highlighting the girl stood next to him.
Augusta took a long look at Apple Bloom before saying, “Hmm, what are your intentions with my grandson young miss?”
“He’s my boyfriend you old crone. Good enough?” Apple Bloom said bluntly.
Neville turned and stared wide-eyed at her, before he turned and stared equally wide-eyed at his grandmother who was cackling like a loon.
Slowly Augusta got a hold of herself and wiped a tear from her eye. “Honest. I like that. I never thought my wimp of a grandson would ever manage to win the heart of a fair maiden, especially before my days were done. This is certainly a nice surprise. Anyway, Molly has our address. We are going to visit Neville’s parents in a week’s time; I’m sure they’d love to meet you, 9:00am sharp.”
“Yes ma'am.” Apple Bloom curtseyed before turning to Neville. “I’ll see you then Neville,” she said giving the boy a kiss on his cheek much to his embarrassment and Augusta’s delight as she turned and prepared to follow Molly with all her belongings.
Unsurprisingly to Apple Bloom, Hermione and Scootaloo were saying goodbye to each other by snogging each other’s brains out -- of course.
As the two girls slowly let their lips disentangle from each other a perplexed voice echoed across the platform.
“Hermione?”
And, of course, Hermione’s parents would just have to turn up at this precise moment, wouldn’t they? Apple Bloom thought to herself.
“Sometimes I wonder if we’re the characters in some cheesy fan fiction,” the girl sighed to herself watching as Hermione stared completely speechless at her parents.
END OF BOOK ONE
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4th wall and probably a bit of a shock to the Granger. Looking forward to book 2.
What an amazing Book it was a fun and heartfelt ride all the way through.
Poor Scootaloo. With friends like this you don't
need enemies. I hope she will get the chance to return the favour one day.
Are Hermoine, Nevile, Ron, and Harry also invite to the wedding?
Thank you for this great story. I can only wonder how you plan to top this with the chamber of secrets.
10683842
To be fair, Scoots gives as good as she gets.
Unfortunately no. Due to the ongoing tensions with the Changelings, they are taking no chances!
No pressure. Going to involve a lot of planning!
10683843
To bad, would have been extremly hilarious, especialy their reactions to Scootaloo's dress.
Great job! Can't wait to see the next book!
10683855
I'm just going to leave this here,
You are now. Remember what Discord said, one revenge prank; well this is it. I’m sure it’ll be a lovely start to our second year when Discord posts pictures of Hufflepuff’s tough tomboy quidditch captain looking so girly throughout the school,” Apple Bloom finished with a look of pure evil spread across her face.
Scootaloo looked at Apple Bloom too stunned for words for a moment before finally finding her tongue. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Karma bitch,” was Apple Bloom’s simple reply as Sweetie began taking the necessary measurements.
10683898
True, but the reactions to something you withnes live are always different, and better than those of seeing a picture of the same event.
All those dark moments and losses in just a year. Make me wonder what is the average number of graduates for Hogwarts? Or should I say how many lives were normally lost during 7 years at Hogwarts?
10683938
Fair point.
10684112
I blame JK, safety never seemed to be on her agenda. Think quidditch is a great example, poor Madam Pomfrey.
Well nice last few chapters. Can't wait for book 2.
It was quite a stormy and entertaining year for the fillies. There were bad, good and very funny moments.
Too bad that the CMC families can't see some of those good and shameful moments right? * I smile as I save a photo of Professor Sprout's kiss with Discord in an album *
Huh. I thought I was following all the big HP crossovers. I wonder how this one slipped by me? No matter. I've found it now and that's what counts!
10704143
YAY! A NEW FOLLOWER!!! You'll find I take to much joy from making other people happy. Hope you enjoy it.
10704472
Fair enough, a lot of people have said how the first few chapters are a bit rushed. Maybe one day I'll go back and edit them but I'm one person and to do so now would take time away from writing new material. I do believe I've improved since then but I'm not an author and write for fun nothing more. And that OC comment is fair enough. To be honest, other than chaos makers the CMC don't have a huge amount of depth to them and thus try to develop them a little more here.
Great wrap-up! Looking forward to the next chapter.
10712038
AppleDash wedding is a short one shot that follows on from this and then I've just posted the fourth chapter of book 2 which will be mostly focusing on slice of life and the girls education rather than constant trips to the infirmary.
Having fun imagining explanations to parents: "Hi mom & dad, this is my girlfriend! Did I mention she is a pegasus from living in another dimension, has a magic 8-ball eye and a magic metal arm?
...
10793420
Thanks for all your comments. Its 12:30 at night here in UK and these comments truly made my day. Unfortunately some of the earlier chapters are a little rough around the edges and I just don't have time to go back and fix them right now, maybe in 6/7 years when I finish the whole thing. I promise you though that things only get more chaotic from here on out and don't worry, there will be no consistent potion hijinks from Sweetie.
10795109
Fair enough on that part, since it has been a long while since I read any of the books.
I'll keep spoiler free for the moment, since at this time I don't intend to stop reading. Its helping me be a bit more interested in working on my own after all.
10796075
That's fair enough! And to be honest I know this won't be to everyone's cup of tea. I started writing it after reading Magical School Days and not liking the direction it took, so wrote my own! Can't believe how far I've come!
10798926
I opted to do something different so Minerva has more time to do admin as vice principal and so Dumbledore can be nearer Harry.
10802534
Shit, she already knows.
10806681
Glad to hear that. I try, I really do, but a lot of what I right isn't scripted and just, what comes to mind!
10843052
Agreed, the shame is, she is like that, right at first, but then devolves into the person who yells at Harry for stepping out of line against a corrupt authority in book 5, something a lot of Fanfics either demonize her for, or justify by all the things going on behind the scenes that are hinted at, but never shown, in the original canon. Meanwhile, the Minerva from Book 3 would have stormed into Umbridge's office and hexed the c...ontemptible person, for even daring to hurt one of her Lions.
10843400
The funny thing is I've only read upto book 2 and that has probably helped with the characters as I just go by what I have in the books I've read. I would actually say I based her a lot on my mother and how I expect someone with authority to act. Treat her students with respect and as equals at first and if they break that trust then come down sternly and punish them for it until they earn that respect back.
10844212
As I said I'm an AppleDash shipper, sorry!
10844336
Thanks, that's part of the reason I stopped reading Magical School Days as well.
10844391
I suffer from low confidence and self-esteem. Nice Comments help with this while critique helps me strive to improve.
10844441
At the end of the day I do this as a labour of love and to make at least 1 other person happy, no more!
10844513
Haven't watched much of the films either, mostly snippets of youtube and Harry Potter Wiki. My plan is to read the next book when required or when I have time, such as my holiday in a few weeks and then make notes. Won't lie from what I've read on her I don't believe she's a fraud and a lot of the predictions she makes, although cryptic, come true. I also feel she gets a lot of unfair stick and that has only led to her becoming even more recluse and cut off. Here I've made her rather kooky but with a good heart and feel while she's teaching Scootaloo, the crusader is doing likewise in getting her teacher more socially active and involved in the school.
10845159
There plan was not to catch the snitch as soon as possible and try to protect the rings as much as possible before then to prevent Ravenclaw from winning anyway. Fair enough, honey badgers are awesome.
10845196
Yeah, the HermionexScootaloo thing just sort of happened. Sorry, there is very little planning with this and every chapter just seems to develop into even more chaos. Loving the comments, hope you don't mind all the replies and hope the chaotic second term doesn't put you off to much.
I actually read quite a bit farther today, but was doing so via phone, so unable to comment on each chapter. Since I've got a memory like a steel sieve, I'm already losing some of it...also it's not telling me you're responding for some reason. Oh well, I'll just check the comments on the main page from now on. Regardless, my thoughts.
1) The romance is a bit forced/advanced for 11 year olds...but I don't mind at all. These aren't normal kids regardless, and Ponies have been shown to age a bit differently, given Twilight and Sunset's whole thing. Still, it's your ship, and you sail her well enough, so I say go for it.
2) Ah, another student of the by the seat of your pants school of writing. Nice to see a fellow graduate. Yeah, I do pretty much the same. Also I did something similar, started writing a Naruto Fanfic after only watching the first anime, and reading some other fanfics. I have since read the whole thing, mind...the author is still a sexist pig. The first Ninja can't fight because she's a woman, despite one shotting a dude who was kicking the heroes asses a moment ago? Bull.
3) Only problem I've got is Mrs. Norris at no point ever 'attacked' a student. That was the inciting incident after the Poison Joke test, which I will say, Snape's an asshole for doing like that, but it is also a case of he had the antidote prepared beforehand, and the effects are noted to be non-lethal...that said he still was out of line. Though yes, Hermie should not have kicked a cat. -1000000 points from Griff. Even one as nasty and Mrs. Norris. Also, always felt sorry for Filch myself. You find out later, just in case you didn't know, and this is only a minor plot point, he's a Squib. Some magic blood, but not enough to do spells. So he's surrounded by people able to do thing he never will be. Always liked the fan theory that the reason he's a Squib is because keeping up the castle requires the ability to interact with magic, without being able to cast any due to the delicate nature of some areas of it, still, to each their own, and curious to see where this goes.
4) Got to the arm thing. Blade and Lightning I like...could still use a Big O 'Sudden Impact' power...yeah, I'm old. Basically, a weight inside the arm that is moved back, and then shoots forward after a punch to add more force behind it...
1:43 in this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlvLpYoUUfc
5) Write what you enjoy. It is still for an audience, but never let those of us who are merely reading your stuff tell you how you make the world, or play with the toys in it. You might keep us under advisement, but you are the absolute authority here. That doesn't mean you should go out of your way to make others feel bad, but it also means you should do this for you first and foremost, and take others advice as just that, advice.
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1) Agreed, I wanted to keep it a bit later on, but it just sort of fit nicely in there, so in it went. I'd say the girls are mentally more like teenagers here while Hermione, 12 at this point, has always been slightly more mature than most. Plus, she's never really had any friends, so it kind of makes sense she'd latch onto Scootaloo a bit and might see it as more. I also try to make it clear at the beginning Scootaloo is unsure just how to feel about it all.
3) Yes I also feel sorry a bit for Filch and it can'r be easy dealing with some of these students.
4) Oh thank goodness they didn't abandon me for the arm thing. I feel Quirrell gets way to dumbed down in the book because it is for kids, so I went with a more realistic evil mastermind thing. I'll keep the arm idea in mind and there is more surrounding why she lost it in book 2.
5)That's exactly what I do, I write for my enjoyment and if people enjoy it then that's a bonus.
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Yes, I'm definitely not into the whole first contact scenario. Over time diplomatic relations are likely to be built up but I'm not going to suddenly flood the world with MLP characters. One or two more will arrive as things go on but others will only visit occasionally.
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Heh, I won't abandon someone for an interesting idea. Again, the Dumbledore thing I left Magical School Days for was more, he didn't do anything with it. Had this Dumbledore actually been, you know, evil, and been working against them, I'd have allowed it. You meanwhile immediately address the issue, and gave her the robot arm. I like bionics, so it's a perfectly fine idea to me. Even reminds me of an old Hell-On-Earth(The Table Top RPG) character I played. no blade, but he could make lightning with his bot arm. Mind, that was becomes of two pads inside that spun rapidly against each other creating a static charge...also I don't think Scootaloo is going to rip hers off to toss into the mouth of an Archdemon...and then bleed out because our healer botch her roll and didn't take any freaking points in her skill with mundane healing...still salty about that, and its been 20 years.
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Thanks, yeah I've done I think 4 or 5 cameos now for long term readers/commentors. EDIT: Yeah, with the unicorn blood it is only ever drunk by those with despicable intentions, so I asked the question, what if it was an accident?
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There is more to come with Scootaloo and why she lost the arm, but that is in book 2 if you do continue to read on. Yeah, I really hated how Dumbledore was portrayed in Magical School Days and somewhat in the books as well. This version steps in when he can but is like your kind old grandfather. Still, when it comes to Harry he knows he can't risk making the future worse, i.e the cursed child.
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I will justify the books as, there are reasons for his actions, or inactions in some cases, that we only find out in the last few books...mostly 6, but some in 7 as well. He also does believe in free will, and the way you talk about prophecies. He trusts in them, knows they will happen, but they're vague things, so he still plans on how best to fulfill them. That said, yeah, best to do what you can, and hope for a better future, rather than trying to shove it towards canon...gods that play sucks.
Anyway, neat with the cameos. Heh, always nice to see audience participation rewarded like that, and good on you for doing so in this way.
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There was one match I believe between Slytherin and Gryffindor I found in my research that was quite barbaric and some of the scenes in the movie to. It does seem that quidditch is a lot more tougher than football, I think its more like the magical version of rugby.
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No, its a year before release, it comes out next summer. I think you are also missing something. Scootaloo has unlimited wealth and thus, through he bank, leant some of her money to Randolph Spudmore, the canon maker of the Firebolt, who, in my version anyway, wanted to make a broomstick to compete with the Nimbus 2000's. That's how Scootaloo go a hold of Hermione's broom, a truly terrifying piece that is highly unstable and only a lunatic would ride, and her new broom, Randolph finally perfect the Firebolt's form and as his back she gets first dibs. They are very difficult to make due to the goblin's constant striking in the iron mines or something similar, as stated in the books. Plus, if you don't mind I'm turning you into inferi food in the next chapter of book 2, sorry, I'm terrible with names and Star Sage sounds like a good auror name. Yeah, the grading system is shot in the book.
Finished, so I'll give my thoughts overall on the piece here, rather than the more random stuff I've done to date.
Overall, the pacing is a bit whack, as it does what the source material does, and jump between important dates. Not a bad thing that, as it does mean we're introduced to a lot of the cast and world in a short amount of time word wise. That and I will state, in 7 books, with 6 based in the school, we, as readers, attended, I think, 38 classes total. This is due in part to how the books are written, but also because Mrs. Rowling had a habit of not wanting to fill in details. You, meanwhile, show many more classes in this one book, and introduce concepts earlier on than they would normally be, thanks in part to Discord himself, who makes for a rather...chaotic addition to the cast.
The CMC are a bit overpowered sometimes, but Discord did that deliberately, so I'll allow it, especially since, by their scores, it shows off that they are specialized, rather than all purpose types. Basically, they're ponies. Where humans have a generalized skill set, a pony has a specific thing they excel at, and are either average, or actually pretty bad at most others. Hermione is a lovely creature in this, and it is nice that, while to the side, Harry and his canon events still seem to be happening here, we just don't encounter them due to the difference in houses, and the lack of interplay between.
I do think, BTW, that I like the staff here. Mind, this school seems dangerous, but some of that is the events that are specific to this year, and Voldemort in particular. He makes things dangerous, and in ways no one would ever really be able to see coming. Cursing a Snitch like that? Impressive. The broomstick hex too, honestly. And the Troll? Probably not something just anyone could do, especially given what we see of the castle's defenses later on(It takes a whole year, and a special circumstance later to allow a single entry point for a squad of baddies later, and that would not have worked without some timing issues, meanwhile the Ministry of Magic itself is invaded/infiltrated at least three times in canon, and none of them seem that hard to accomplish).
I do like the girl's choices of Beau's, BTW. Scoot is an interesting foil for Hermione, and Bloom and Neville work, given where he's going on his own journey(Also means another of the Prophecy Children is in the group). I will look forward to seeing where this all goes.
All things considered, I enjoyed it. It takes itself just seriously enough to be fun, so it never really feels dark/dreary like most HP fanfics tend to do, thanks to how Canon is in the later books influencing the start. I look forward to reading more.
On that note, was going to ask if I could replace Igor Karkaroff from year 4(Foreign teacher at a rival school). But that works too. So long as I blow myself up. I'm a fan of the Dragon Ball Z school of losing at a fight. If I can't win, I'm gonna go out in a blaze of glory...it never works, but they do try.
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Part of the pacing issue is due to there being so little to write about in year 1, I mean the Sorting Hat scene appears only about half way through the book! And it wouldn't be right just lugging in a load of new content, i.e lessons etc., although hopefully this is something that will be addressed in book 2. I know especially with this one I was running out of stuff to write towards the end, as you said JK was lazy with details, just wham bam a few details of lessons but mostly just what the trio get up to out of class investigating the stone and that's it. Even quidditch is poorly explained, so thanks for noticing that.
Agreed there is a lack of interplay here, I think more happens in book 2 as the friendship grows and yes, I've tried making it so the girls are powerful at something but 1 or 2 things only. Sweetie is like the groups Hermione, just not quite as strict and diligent with work, Scootaloo is probably Harry, always seeming to get into trouble no matter how hard, whereas Bloom is probably most like Ron, pulled along and just has to deal with it. It is, as you said though difficult to interact houses aside the library and classes.
I didn't like how Quirrell was portrayed. I wanted to show he was a devious and dangerous lunatic who was bluffing all the time and was quite willing to get his hands dirty for his master. I think you are also forgetting Dobby in book 2.
Glad you like the ships and I don't know why, I just prefer writing chaos and comedy, its what I love to do, but I realise you have to have some seriousness mixed in to. The bridge between the two books isn't my best work but hay, it adds a punch and year two is definitely not all clean sailing for the girls but glad you like it. And I'll keep your idea about being a teacher in mind.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PdY3L-JYzk
They had far too much fun on this show. I miss it.
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In the middle of the wedding right now. It's not bad, though I do wish Celestia all the best in her recovery/her murder plot of Discord, whichever she decides is best.
And yeah, it's overall, a great piece of work, using what is there to build up to something new. You gave Scoots her wings, as some do, but then you spent this showing that she's still the same headstong person she always way, and that leads to her getting other limbs torn asunder. You quickly give her replacements there, but yeah, she's already half cyborg. How many did you build, Dr. Gero?(TFS reference for the win)
Anyway, Igor is in book four, like I said, he should be important for the story, as he's basically the head of 'Far North of Europe' version of Hogwarts. He's introduced as a big deal, and a former Death Eater...and then he only gets 3 scenes, two of which only exist to foreshadow Lord Moldy-butt's eventual return, and then he dies between books, so we never even get to see it happen. The other head of French Hogwarts gets several more scenes for romance related reasons, but evil headmaster gets squat. And the fact that he supposedly taught the Dark Arts(Not Defense Against the, but just, the Dark Arts) means he should be all kinds of interesting, especially since he has it in for a wizard cop at the school in Book 4, but again, it never goes anywhere.
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Well... this won't age well.