Eonex
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Pretty entertaining short one-shot. Yeah, Twilight and Spike travel to another universe where they basically switched roles. And, yeah, I could understand why Twi might be sentimental enough to want to visit the Golden Oaks Library to see if they could find things that got destroyed during that fight with Tirek. And good detail about Twi getting help from both Starlight AND Starswirl on the spell.
All in all, the exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up are all pretty well done.
And I wouldn't even JOKE about the "flying book attacking ponies" stuff. Not when Discord is a semi-regular.
Not bad for your first, bro. There were some moments of awkward phrasing, and there wasn’t really much conflict to draw the reader in, but was still a solid fic. It’s always refreshing to have Spike appreciated more. Good job!
Well, it's a good story. Gets to the point, shows the character and it's well paced.
Good story,
It was a nice read. Thought they were gonna met the originals at some point, prolly that could've made a good conflict for the fic. But still a good lil' fic.
Solid concept and with a pretty original execution. I know of several fics where Twilight and Spike have swapped roles, but in all of them they also have swapped species. So having them instead remain as their normal selves certainly adds an interesting dynamic and is downright loaded with potential story possibilities, especially seeing as Twilight still seems to be Celestia's student.
That being said, there is sort of a major problem...namely, pacing. With how short this story is, pacing is especially important. Almost all of the fic is given over to, basically, explaining the concept of the fic, without there actually being much in the way of a story. The old maxim of "show, don't tell" comes to mind. I can't help but feel that this fic would have benefited from stretching things out a bit and playing with the swapped roles concept a bit more. Likewise I think the meta-commentary of Prime-Twilight and Prime-Spike could have been condensed.
I'll echo what Jinzou said: this was pretty good for a first outing. But I do wish that it had been more.
I’ve reviewed this fanfic in this blog.
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Thank you for your kind words! I'm not very used to write in English yet, and I want to keep improving. This was my first completed fic on English and also the first one I completed in a very long time, and while I got several ideas like OTL Spike finding this universe Rarity and discovering that he's been more sucessful with her now because he's an important member of society (?) (Didn't know how to work out that exactly), and Spike wants to stay because of that, of course.
"Twilight, can we ju-" "Don't ever think about it, Spike".
And a couple more, but maybe I save them for another fic. Thanks again, and I hope you have a great day.
10365653
Thank you for the feedback, Nitro. Been a pleasure to participate.