28-year old fan of MLP, Wheelchair-bound, motorsports lover, Is fond of Pokemon, Harry Potter, DC, Marvel and Percy Jackson
Anon-A-Miss... Those three words ruined my life. My so-called friends hate me, the whole school hates me. No word from Twilight, I am all alone here. I don't know how to access the portal so I'm stuck here, or am I? Those girls don't want to see me again? Fine! I'm leaving for good!
Those thoughts fester in Sunset Shimmer's head. The girls' hurtful words make her question her own existence. Maybe if she just disappeared, everyone would be happy.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I actually REALLY like this story and would love to see more if you ever decide tonwrite more about this AU
The idea of Sunset switching with the human Sunset after Anon-a-Miss isn't one that makes a whole lot of sense. Sunset rebuilding her life in the pony world isn't one that really works either, Twilight already took her place. Her friends are the girls at Canterlot High, not the Ponyville ponies. The two groups are very different, and this story felt both very rushed and didn't have a very good premise. The switching POV's is also something is despise.
All in all, the story was fine. Defiantly not a favorite.
10331849
This was just an idea that was running through my mind for a long time. Didn't really have plans for expanding beyond this
I really like this story. It's okay if you don't write more, this is great as a one-shot, though I wouldn't object to seeing more of this AU
nice work.
I like how the CMC’s realize their mistake and decided to confess of being Anon a miss, but I don’t like the way that the equestrian Sunset Shimmer is going back to Equestria and her human counterpart is staying to look after her friends after she forgives them. This is a very sad story that I should’ve not been reading before!
It's an interesting concept and I did like it, but it doesn't really have a lot of impact as just a one-shot. It went by REALLY fast. This concept in my eyes would work a lot better if it was a full fleshed-out story.
First things first. Let me say that I’m always glad to see more Anon-a-Miss fits. They are a favorite of mine. Also, there are some good ideas here I’ve never seen before. So, thank you for that.
However, I think a little criticism is always due. It helps us develop and grow. I real see only two major issues I’d like to address. The rest comes with experience.
First, the POV indications are utterly unnecessary and very distracting. At best, they’re a handicap for writers who can’t express a character’s voice when writing in the third person. Just because a professional writer or two might use them, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
They are appalling. Drop it.
Second,
This isn’t a text based RP. A character’s actions should never be described with asterisks in the narrative. Doing so breaks the flow of dialogue more than simply writing, “She blushed, ‘Sorry... continue.’”
You could use that if you want; I don’t care. The point is that asterisks do not work there.
Other than that I haven’t any major issues. I never like to see a plot go, ‘you drove me to kill myself, but said you were sorry, so I forgive you.’ That is a matter of personal taste however. Also, the pacing is a bit rushed.
I hope to see more of your work in the future.
I understand that this is a one-shot but it's incredibly rushed, the Rainbooms apologizing via text comes off as insulting and incredibly disrespectful, it's way too soon for Starlight to show up and the POV made it difficult to get into the story. Sunset's sudden departure and leaving her human counterpart to clean up the mess not only doesn't makes sense but is kind of a dick move.
Overall I liked it.
Apple Bloom taking a picture of Sunset and then taking off needs more. Maybe something about her going into a panic? I mean, who takes a picture of someone about to jump off a bridge and then runs off so they can talk to their friends about whether or not they should confess?
Sunset going home works so long as she can carve out a nitch for herself. In my opinion, Sunset was never meant to be the leader of the element bearers. Even in the EQGs world, she is not the bearer of the element of magic.
Her friends texting her on the phone instead of actually calling and racing out to the bridge... seriously should of let them stew for a while. This is also a good place for Sunset to agonize over whether she wants to forgive them. Going back to Equestria would come at the realization that the girls were never trully her freinds.
Human Sunset should seriously think about going to a different school. Why go to a school where she's going to immediately pick up all of Sunset's old baggage and hate? Heck, that's a whole new chapter right there.
Honestly it's. Nice story but too rushed. The girls feel out of character too I mean if I got a Pic of my friend about to jump the bridge I'd be calling them or something.
Still a nice story just needs to slow down lol
thumbs.gfycat.com/GentleSickBird-size_restricted.gif
DOG FREAKIN' GONE IT, PINKIE! THESE FOURTH WALLS DON'T COME CHEAP, YOU KNOW!!!
Can we get a sequel of sunset living in equestria?
Since when do you freaks care?
To Applejack: *Dom Toretto bringing the FBI be like* FBI OPEN UP!!
To Pinke: Oh shut it you pink Spinel wannabe.
To Rarity: *immitating the lAdYLikE style of "accent", no offense* Hm, yes, they will, after you asses get yours first you ingrate.
To Fluttershy: Bitch is this some sort of an underhand tactic for pity and empathy and "kINdNesS"? Well, guess what, you aren't worthy of a friend like her!
Oh wait- you never had any true friends, right? Haha-
To Rainbow Dash: Ya Sunset, stop, she's gonna cwy. (FNaF reference)
Sorry, but I felt like I had to do that. Hate this all you want, but I don't care LOL.