A fan-fiction author and game programmer that lives in Glendale, CA.
Luna Is The Best Pony4,634 stories ·7,265 members
Alicorn Twilight2,144 stories ·2,854 members
Celestia Is The Best Pony2,581 stories ·2,888 members
Shining Armor and Cadence1,011 stories ·762 members
Princess Cadance980 stories ·916 members
The Princesses2,291 stories ·914 members
Stories on Goodreads28,599 stories ·492 members
A popularity poll in a magazine sparks a contest of virtues between Equestria's four princesses. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight all come together to compete and determine who is truly deserving of the title "best princess."
Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
Illustrious Q, El Oso
Written for the Mid-Summer Follow Appreciation Lottery Winner - Black Hoof
Page generated in 0.174 seconds
Total duration
664 users online
707,129 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Huh, these just now showed up in my feed.
Must make time to read!
Thank you, PS!
This was a fun read. Kudos!
Hmm. I'll have to read these.
Prediction without having read anything: Big Mac wins by a landslide. The Princesses divide the male voters while Big Mac corners the female voters. Considering the female-to-male ratio in Equestria, it's not even a fair fight.
Yay Luna!
Well, I can't wait for the sequel.
Is the opening line supposed to start with an "Oof", perchance? Or perhaps an "Oh", come to think on it.
Either way, "Of" makes no sense.
Yak Grammar Need Work!
Don't even need to read the story; Nyx is best princess
Ha!
Well, now we know Equestria is full of heretics. Everyone knows Luna is best Princess. Long live the Lunar Republic!
Now all we need is for an AU of this fic where Twi gets mad over Luna's placement and teleports over to comfort the Moon Princess. Wonderful Twi/Luna ensues
What about Flurry?
Nice start. Of course, I'm hoping Luna will overtake since... well... Best Princess, obviously. [Insert STILL NEEDED Luna emoji]
And since you asked:
There were a couple of others I might have altered, but most of them were personal preference. You know how I am.
Oh come on, that is NOT something you can leave out!
And woot! Go Luna!
Here you are, good sir:
And again, a few other little ones here and there from my eye.
This was great and certainly worth the wait. I enjoyed the characters' interactions. I wonder how a hoofwrestling match would have gone between the 4 princesses. Twilight wins the first trial! Go Twilight!
Nice conclusion at the end. Now dragons, yaks, hippogriffs, changelings ? Twilight, Cadance, what have you started ?
Thanks for this great fanfic.
Also, could we have, here, a short depiction of the other trials and how they went ? AJ's one with apples, lie detectors and changelings? The generosity trial ? Did Pinkie's trial consist of which princess would make the spectators laugh harder?
We have got Twilight the Kind, Luna the Loyal, Celestia the Honest, but who became the Generous, the... Funniest(?) ?
Edit : it was also interesting to see a corrupted Cadance doppelganger. Stories featuring an evil form of the Love Princess are sadly too rare.
Now THAT was a competition! Gonna need a sequel for that one, eh?
Last time:
(Since the next paragraph didn't start with dialogue, the quote has to be closed)
(it's the last comma if you can't see it)
And a few other mechanical things— you know I'm picky.
Awesome read! Now I have to go to sleep.
Friggin' 4am...
Well it’s no Olympics but it’s still fun
10326677
Blasphemy! God-Empress Celestia is best princess!!! Glory to the Solar Imperium!!! CAKE FOR THE CAKE GODDESS!!!
10326836
. Never change. These edits have been applied.
I do, in fact, know you and how you are
10326852
These corrections have been made.
10326896
10326618
Thank you both for pointing out Typos. The corrections have been made, especially before Ruthford can and lecture me for not writing it perfectly.
10327251
And more milk for her Khorne flakes.
Edit : And now I'm imagining the 4 princesses playing a four-way W40K game to find out who is the best tactician.
10327251
Sun blinded fool! The gentle caress of the Moon is more exquisite than the simple minded burning of the Sun could ever be!
Looks like the Equestria Games just got an upgrade. Praise the Tree and pass the popcorn!
10326677
Twiluna best ship
10327482
I'll ship Twi with just about anyone except Flash. My personal favorites are TwiLuna, Twishy, and TwiPie in that order. Strange tho, my favorite twilight romance had her paired with Dashie. Go figure.
Guessing now. Four way tie?
this is going to be fun.
i know i've seen this story idea done before, but it's nice to see an updated version now that the show is over
10327661
Can you tell me where? I'd like to see it.
10327270
Except for the first one, it would seem.
Well. I didn't see that twist ending coming.
This is going to be good. Princess versus Princess!
i did not see that ending coming LOL great job
Let me guess: Lust?
Edit: Well.... kinda right.
10327676
Do you mean me skipping over AJ's challenge? Otherwise... don't know what you're referring too.
10327884
About that, Pen Stroke, could you please tell us, just in a few words what AJ's, Rarity's and Pinkie's challenges were about and how many points did the princesses receive in them storywise ?
Best version of these kinds of stories
Nice work Pen Stroke. I wish you could have said a little bit about the other challenges, but aside from that, I liked what I read. Could we get an epilogue or something showing Flurry Heart and Shining congratulating our contestants and maybe some more playful banter between Twilight and Cadance, as a way to tie things into the beginning?
10326618
"yaks actually taking grammar lessons."
"yes. yak hope yak get to verb conjugation before end of week."
"yak look forward to first-person pronouns."
"capital letters intrigue yak."
10326859
Cadance, alone of all the [adult] princesses has her shit together. Losing a dark reflection is a small price to pay.
And then Flurry Heart threw Whammy.
10330031
And Twilight and Cadance hoofwrestled to see which of them was the most athletic.
I'm voting for Warrior Princess Flurry Heart!
"Friendship Castle"? Starshit Himmler? Downvote without reading.
I'm always thrilled whenever you post a new story, though I must confess it can be strange to read a story from you sans one little dark alicorn...
Nonetheless, I enjoyed this one, though I admit I've seen other stories like it. The final challenge was thrilling. I liked what you did with Cadance. It reminded me of an alternate Cadance from another fanfiction called "Trouble in Tiatarta", wherein Cadance became Queen of the Changelings. Your version feels more like a true corruption, and achieves a different thematic end.
The ending of this story felt a little like a cop-out ("You're all best princess! Yay!") but the bit where the other rulers appeared was amusing.
Now for the typos.
I did not spot too many this time around. Here's a quick one:
This should read "You were truly frightening as Nightmare Moon, Sister." Personally, I would simply delete the "Sister" part, since the audience knows who Celestia is addressing. Or put it at the start of the sentence. Take your pick.
I think this paragraph could use some revision. I think I understand the gist of what you are attempting to say, but this paragraph is so vague I had to go back and re-read it several times. The conclusion you made at the end felt like a non sequitur. And what did you mean by "stranger formula?"
This sentence could use some revision. Here's a different choice: "It was Equestria's biggest weekly news magazine, covering the biggest stories across the world."
Typos aside, there are also a few issues with your prose I should like to address. Some of your expository dialogue feels sort of awkward. For example:
This doesn't feel like natural dialogue. This kind of thing tends to be a re-occuring trait throughout your work. A lot of your dialogue can feel stiff and unnatural, but the expository dialogue tends to be the most awkward to read. In fairness, the show proper had trouble with that as well ("Wow! I can't believe *plot relevant character* asked to come all the way to the *plot relevant location* for the *plot relevant event*! I'm going to loudly emphasize this fact for the audience, even though we're nearly there and we should already know all this!")
The prose can also be a little clunky at times. I've noticed a tendency towards over-explaining certain details. However, this is a common problem with Fanfiction. I know I spot this issue a lot in my own work! I don't mean to sound harsh or judgemental. I think you're a good writer with a good imagination. I merely think improving your prose would raise your stories quality even further.
I look forward to seeing more from you! But I still have one final question:
What was Nyx's ranking?
This is so nice
Such a fun read, really needed this.
And now I want that sequel lol.
But really the personalities, the subtle moments of doubt in each of them sprinkled in there was perfect.
My only complaint with this is it feels like Celestia didn’t get a time to shine, alone that is. I mean Twight gets the second chapter watching the first task, the cadence, set her moments with shining and then her bit in the second one , while Luna gets to show her better understanding of that task afterwards.
I first thought it was Celestia that was gunna be the key to defeating the final challenge but it’s actually Luna that starts it off.... but that’s just me.
Also Spike is best commentator
That almost felt like it could have been an episode.
10330836
10329198
10326896
10326506
What would you want to see in a sequel ?
10331006
The competitions between the leaders, of course. Princesses get to deliberate which one of them faces off against which of the other leaders, and all of them have to participate at least once. My suggestions:
— Twilight vs Novo
— Celestia vs Ember
— Luna vs Pharynx
— Cadance vs Rutherford
I'm sure someone else might have reasons for other pairings, but I can't imagine Luna or Pharynx facing anyone else.
Or, of course, it could just be a straight four-on-four.