The Prince Of Stars

by Judaskiss

Ch.3 Hope

Chapter 3
Hope

In Ponyville, Twilight was awake even before the princess rose the sun. She was suddenly fascinated with the magical properties of the Elements of Harmony. Even though she knew how to use them she was still unsure of how they worked.

''Ugh,''she exclaimed, ''why is there so little information on the elements. It's as if no own knows about them.'' She was sitting at her desk drowning in a sea of old dusty books. Only a few concerned the elements however. At some point she wound up reading books about herbal remedies, the magical properties of pegasus hooves and a particularly disturbing one about the construction of rainbows.

She consulted her notes where she compiled her own existing knowledge of the elements.

The Elements Of Harmony

1. There are six Elements of Harmony, Honesty, Reliability, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness and Magic.

2. All six elements must be within a close range in order to function properly. If one is missing all are rendered useless.

3. The elements respective ''owners'' must be conscious, fully capable of personifying their element and most importantly, they must be close friends.

4. While it can be assumed that the energy produced from the elements is of magical nature, the source of the magic is not fully known since the ponies in the process do not need to have any magical power. The power is also greater than any other magical ability seen to date.

This was all she could think of. She noted all of these from their encounters with Nightmare Moon and Discord.

Sunlight began to crawl across the floor of the library as the Princess rose the sun. This was completely hidden from Twilight as she was concealed behind her book fortress. It did not however go unnoticed by her pet dragon Spike, who was rudely awoken by the light. With a yawn he dragged himself out of his bed.

''Mornin' Twilight.'' He greeted in the direction of Twilight's empty bed. Without noticing the untouched bed sheets on his friends bed he made his way down stairs to the library. As he made his way to the kitchen he noticed the tower of books. He shook his head. Twilight was up all night again.

''Twilight, did you stay up all night again? Y'know you'll wear yourself out. Plus you're supposed to meet the guys for lunch today.''

''Oh Spike, how am I supposed to think about sleep when I have so many problems to think about. And I haven't forgotten about lunch. When have I ever been late?''

''You were supposed to help Applejack in her orchard last month and you never showed up.''

''Well, yeah. But I meant recently.'' Spike opened his mouth to reply but Twilight cut across him.

''C'mon, it's time for breakfast.'' Spike sighed but his stomach was eager to follow the word 'breakfast' and Spike wasn't about to get in the way of it.

When they entered the kitchen there was a small cake on the counter, iced with vivid pink frosting.

Twilight was confused. She didn't bake a cake. She didn't even bake.

''Spike, did you...''

Before she could finish her sentence the cake exploded and both Spike and Twilight were covered with cake and icing. Where the cake stood there was now a pink pony, as pink as the icing on the cake.

''Hi Twilight! I baked a cake as a surprise for my bestest friend, and then I thought 'hey, why don't I bake myself into the cake' so I did and then I brought myself here and waited for you! What'd ya think?''

The purple unicorn was still in shock. Pinkie Pie wiped the icing off of her friend with a hoof, and then shoved the icing covered hoof into her mouth.

Twilight snapped out of her confusion. She didn't know why she couldn't expect this kind of thing. It happened on a daily basis. She didn't bother to ask how she got herself here when she was in the cake, she knew better.

''Hi Pinkie, this certainly is a surprise.'' Twilight giggled as she pulled a piece of cake from her mane. Spike began to clean himself off with a towel. ''It's a surprise alright.'' he mumbled.''At least I didn't straighten my spikes yet.''

''It was soooo hard to stay in the cake for so long without eating it.'' Pinkie explained. ''Anyway are ya ready for lunch? Are ya? Huh? Are ya? I'm so excited about it cos it's gonna be in Sugar Cube Corner! And I LOVE Sugar Cube Corner! Even though I work there and live there and we have lunch there EVERY week I'm still SOOO exited!''

Pinkie Pie could be...eccentric at times.

''Me too Pinkie. Um are you hungry? Spike and I were about to have breakfast.'' Twilight asked.

''Oh, do you have any hay bacon strips? I LOVE hay bacon, almost as much as cake.''

''I'll see what we have.'' Twilight said as she trotted to the fridge. Pinkie Pie went quite.

''Someone should put hay bacon in a cake. That would be awesome.''

The three friends sat down to to their bacon of breakfast and eggs. Thankfully Pinkie wasn't talking as much as her face was stuffed with food. That didn't stop her from trying however.

''Mmmmph, mmmmmph mmmphh mmmmmph mph mmmppphh.'' Was the sound that came from her mouth.

''Uh, sorry Pinkie, I didn't quite catch that.'' Said Twilight.

The pink pony swallowed, the food made a bulge in her throat.

''Guh...I said 'Mmmmph, mmmmmph mmmphh mmmmmph mph mmmppphh.'''

Twilight sighed. ''I know, but what did you mean?''

''Oh! Then, I said 'Twilight, this bacon is delicious.'''

''Oh. Thanks Pinkie. I do try...''

At that moment Spike, who was next to Twilight, belched. Unfortunately because he was a dragon he belched flames and accidentally singed Twilight's fringe.

''Gaaahhh, Spike, be more careful!'' she screamed as she put out her mane.

''Aw, sorry Twilight I couldn't help it.'' Spike apologized.

Pinkie hoofed Twilight a letter she found.

''Here ya go, I think it's from Celestia.''

''Thanks Pinkie.'' She opened the letter with her magic. Her mane looked okay but burning hair still filled her nostrils as she read the letter aloud.

''To my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,

I have noticed that you have been studying friendship for some time now and I am worried that you may be over working yourself. Spike tells me that you've been losing sleep lately. I think that you should take a break every now and then. Which is why I would like to invite you and your friends to stay a while in Canterlot with Luna and I.

You can sleep in the castle if you wish. I have enough rooms for each of you. It has been quite some time since I saw you last. Since the royal wedding I think. Luna and I are so looking forward to seeing you again.

Please write me your answer as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Princess Celestia.''

When Twilight finished the letter Pinkie did a cartwheel.

''Yay! I love Canterlot! I can't wait to go again and meet the princesses. I better start packing. See ya later Twilight. Bye Spike.''
Twilight did not seem quite as happy as Pinkie Pie.

''Oh no, I'm so close to finding out more about the Elements. I don't have time to visit the princess for a week. What am I going to do?''

''You should go Twilight. You need a break. We've been working so hard lately.'' Spike pointed out.

''But Spike, I can't afford to get distracted at this stage. I'm sure I'm about to make a break through with my studies.'' she argued.

''Well maybe you should go anyway. You can get back to it with a fresh head. Besides, I'm sure Celestia would want to hear about what you've learned so far.'' Twilight thought about this for a moment. Spike had a point. It's true that he hadn't been sleeping much and she felt worn out, and she hadn't been making as much progress as she hoped. Maybe a break would help.

''Your right Spike, a break would do us all good. Besides Pinkie has probably told everyone already, you know how she gets around, I couldn't let them all down now.

Might as well start packing now. I'll send Celestia the letter later after we meet the girls for lunch. We can leave tomorrow morning''

''What do you guys even need to pack? It's not like you need much clothes, you don't wear anything!'' Spike asked. Twilight ignored the question.

*

Later, around lunch time, the six ponies and the dragon met in Sugar Cube Corner. Rainbow Dash was the first to comment on the news.

''Aww, I can't wait to go to Canterlot again. It's been so long since we saw the princesses. Not since Twilight's brother's wedding.''

''Yeah, and you could use this as an excuse to surprise your brother Twilight!'' suggested Applejack. Rarity piped up.

''Applejack isn't it harvest season? Who will collect all the apples.''

''Aww, Big Macintosh is more then capable o' buckin' them trees. And Granny Smith can help too. She might not look it but when she wants too she's got a mighty buck in her legs.''

''Ooh, I can't wait.'' exclaimed Fluttershy. ''But I'll worry about Angel and the others while I'm gone. I always imagine that they would be sad to be without me for so long.''

''Don't worry Fluttershy, they have always been okay without you. Angel always seemed to be the type that can take care of himself anyway.'' said Twilight. ''Okay, so will we meet tomorrow morning at the train station?''

All the ponies nodded in agreement.

''ROOOOAAADDD TRIIIIIP!'' exclaimed Pinkie Pie, once she had finished her lunch. The only time she can seem to be quite is when there is food in her mouth, and even then that's rare.

''We're all going to Canterlot!'' she sang as the ponies began to leave.

It wasn't long until the ponies and Spike left the cafe and headed home to pack. They agreed that they would meet the next morning at the train station. Little did they know that hundreds of miles away in the north, at this time, the alicorn and the creature were already well into their travels. They were also unaware of the ulterior motives of Princess Celestia in bringing them to Canterlot. It would not be long until the true reason why they were being asked to come to Canterlot became clear to them.

Comments

[RodBottom]

Good, though remember this equation:
Long length = :D
Small length = D:

[Veradon Chimera]

Hey, Judas. You have three guess as to which of your real life friends this is.
Anyway, remember what I said about a **** of an editor being the only editor worth having? Yeah, I'm going to be that guy for a few minutes. Now, this is just one person's (who thinks he knows more than he actually does) opinion, so take and leave what you want from this.
Now to end on a high note, I'm going to lead with the bad and finish with the good. So sorry, the next few lines are going to be harsh.
Overall, your grandest downfall is dialogue. It's wooden. Now that's not necessarily bad; it works suits Abscissor and Uman exchanges very well, especially when you consider that the Prince has been isolated for a thousand years. But it needs to be more fluid for everyone else (Sorry if I'm being incredibly vague, If you want I could do a line by line analysis of it to give you suggestions).
Next, there the occasional problem of lines going on for way to long. I can't think of anything particular now, but there were instances where I thought 'This could be two sentences.'
Now, at last, what I enjoyed. First, the concept as a whole. The brother banished to the Frozen Nurth (That choice of spelling doesn't annoy me, but it still puzzles me) travelling back back after a thousand years isn't new, but its the differences from the norm that I love. First, he is a 'Sealed Evil in a Can' villain. He's a hermit, slightly unhinged from loneliness (It least, that my interpretation), so that despite his agenda, you do become interested in him. Plus, when your skillset included building stars, how can you not be awesome. Uman... Uman is the wildcard, I'm interested to see what he'll do. One thing is for sure though; shit is going to go down.
The other thing you do incredibly well is prose. It sucks me into the world. Abscissor's stream of thought works especially well. The present tense perspective is rarely seen, but it works here. Keep that.
To conclude, I'm going to say that if you want any help I would be happy to give it. This fic has so much potential and with a bit of spit-shining, it could possibly be of Equestria Daily quality. I'd love to talk to you about it. Hope I didn't overstep myself, and I apologise if I did. Lastly I'll say the one thing I've been holding back since the start.
MOAR!!!!

[Judaskiss]

2233578 i have to agree with everything you said about the dialogue and sentence structure. And your interpretation of the characters was spot on.

I really have to work on the dialogue which is why I haven't uploaded anything in a while. That kind of thing will be a real problem when writing for characters like Pinkie Pie. I always wonder to myself weather or not what I've written is right.

I'm going to re-write or edit these chapters later on when I get better. Thanks for the feed back dude.