- Member Since 7th Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 30 minutes ago
Dr Sharaz Jek
Cynically Pretentious Hedonistic Nihilist...and those are my nicer qualities!
Dr Sharaz Jek
Joined 7th Jun, 2017 ·
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Killing them would be the easy way out but making them Sunset's would sound a paradise.
Great chapter!
Nice start i cant wait to find out whats next.
I'm torn on what should happen to them part of me want to see them suffer more.
Another part of me want to see Sunset strangle them one by one in front of each other.
Another part of me wants the Rainbooms to find out and have Dash grab them and take off moving at super speeds spinning them around till they vomit nonstop and pass out sobbing.
Oh no, no forgiveness. The owner of that shop that sold Sunset still needs to pay the piper.
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Thank you!
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Shoot! I forgot about that! Please please please tell me he pays the price as well!
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The other thing to look at. Are they even near the town? All these mentions of Yakuza and Asians might mean the four girls have been exported to the Far East. They might be halfway around the globe or somewhere else on the Continent. Then again, I kind of like the Idea of Sunset Shimmer going 'The Bride' on the Yakuza like the end of the one Kill Bill movie.
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Yes, I figure they've been trying to expand their territory internationally, but Sunset has harmed their operation and set them back. Was definitely channeling old exploitation movies with that action sequence which Kill Bill drew from, Sex and Fury I believe in particular. (Haven't watched it in over a decade.)
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The sad part is that I remember them discovering Sex Slavery groups operating in Japan when I lived there in the 90's. They were importing in girls from the US and Europe and were only caught because one girl got away and made it to a embassy. The number of prominent suicides made the news but most of it was kept lowkey and out of the news.
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Yeah, that's why I've tried to keep it to over the top exploitation media, don't have the skill or knowledge to explore real world pain on that level though I've read about it.
Great chapter! Great story!
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Thanks!
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You’re welcome!
Kind of an abrupt ending...
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Didn't have anything more to say. Threat is dealt with, Sunset finds happiness despite her trauma.
I'm suprised she went to Flash like that. Most people after something like that would retreat within themselves and even fall into blaming themselves. There does tend to be a bit of self loathing after a event like that, which is what the Dazzlings look to have had happen to them.
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My idea was that Sunset was trying to reclaim her body/agency by sleeping with Flash, and using him for catharsis. Plus I wanted to end this series on a sex positive note.
It was ok i guess. Not what i expected.
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What did you expect?
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Something different. Not sure what exacly. Probably the Dazzlings or at least one of them getting killed. It went to easy.
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I think them having to live with what they did and haunted by what happened to them was fitting.
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Well its your story. :)
For me it felt a bit to cliche. All the "good" characters or at least "girls" live and are rescued by one girl with no combat experience and that should be terrified and unprepared for it without even having a bit of a struggle to get away. With Sunset having not even a bit of unwillingness to kill all t hose guys. As much as evil and bad they were they didynt kill any of them and she went full Kill Bill on them - dont get me wrong - they deserved it - im just saying she is a teen girl that come from a word where the most evil villains are at worst imprisoned in stone(and still released at some point). Here she snaps in a moment and start killing everyone with detachment on a scale of 11/10. You would think even if she is "broken" she would not act like that. And not with this big lack of causalities. Especially scene when someone is pointing a gun at someones head and then he is.. lets say hurt... I think 1st thing he would do is to squeeze the trigger and paint the offending party red...
There is no tension in the story if you know that everyone who mater is safe even if they are put in a situation where they would 100% die.
I still need to read that 2nd Chapter properly now that you posted it but just a quick look made me a bit apprehensive... She goes to FS and basically act like nothing happened... No consequences from killing so many people, no mental breakdown beside a quick "oh no! what happened to me!" and she is not shaken at all.
For someone from word of pastel ponies that got through this kind of experience she doesn't seems bothered to much by it.
And Dazzlings... well they were portrayed more accurate with their reactions tho i think at least one of them would brake completely and would end up either crazy, dead or completely broken.
But all that above is just MY OWN take on it. You went another way and its fine. Just a little bit boring.
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When I kill canon characters and actually give out consequences, readers bitch too. I can't win, so this is why I'm not writing here anymore (other than what strictly appeals only to me) after I'm done fulfilling my obligations.
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Well with this kind of attitude you would have hard time writing anywhere where people can leave comments under your work.
Even in a kindergarten some kids cry about poor little pig house getting blown to pieces by big bad wolf. But that's how the story goes.
In my comments I didynt tell you to change how you made the storyline. I only showed my perspective and given some suggestions that you are free to consider or ignore.
All in all I'm a fan of grimdark and deadly scenarios with consequences. Well with exception being porn/clopfic... in porn I can overlook most inconsistency for the sake of "fun".
There is as many opinions and preferences as there are people. You will NEVER pleasure everyone.
Best thing you can do is to write the story as you see fit best yourself without considering who you may offend or who may not like the way you went with it. That way people who like your style will stay with you while those that your writing dont satisfy will leave.
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That's what I've always done. Not out to write anything 'realistic' as this is a hyper reality, and imo killing off characters would be just as cliche and easy. Done that plenty of times such as in The Fourth Siren.
All I've ever wanted to do was express myself and entertain. Fair enough if you didn't like it, just gets tiresome with people disliking any direction I take which makes me think why bother? I think a fic should
be judged for what it tried to be, not what you think it should be.
Anyhow, thanks for reading and commenting, didn't mean to whine, just kind of tired of MLP and the community in general.
I kind of would have preferred for Sunset to still be naked and blood-soaked and carrying a sword and propelled across the ocean by the pure fury of the Erinyes, but it was fun anyway.
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Thanks, wanted to give Sunset a happy ending for once, although that would have certainly been fun!