- Member Since 28th Apr, 2020
- offline last seen Sep 8th, 2023
Vis-a-Viscera
Now witness the power of this filly armed and operational battlestation.
Vis-a-Viscera
Joined 28th Apr, 2020 ·
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She can get in my pocket ;)
Not sure this is for me, given all of the continuity nods to Leech's other stories that I'd need to understand. It's not really accessible for new readers who you want to try and attract at any rate. Also, trying not to twitch too badly at Rappid and the inherent grammar errors there.
The Leech and Tekky bit. Hot.
Again, I'm sorry, but the constant continuity callbacks pulled me out of the immersion. And then there's Fleur, hoo boy. I... really don't like this take on her, as it just feels pointless. Make one of the implied few good high-class ponies in Canterlot into a blackmailing bitch. Look, I know I'm supposed to shut up and enjoy the porn, maybe, but... As a writer myself, and I apologize if I sound like I'm getting up on my high horse here, but there's a fair bit about this that I have to criticize.
I'm sorry, but this wasn't for me.
10373240
Don't worry - it was a longshot I tried, and I'm gonna rectify that now. All reference to the second chapter one to Leech's New Lease on Life - a great tale for everyone, by the way - has been revised.
Here's to a far more streamlined story, everyone!
10373259
Understandable - but take into consideration, that same denominator's been put upon Spoiled Rich, and she has a kid. I figured that in a world like this, a dynamic like this wouldn't be too far out of bounds.
Plus, Fleur's hardly the first to dip into criminal aims to achiever her ends especially not with Suri 'Ain't Plagiarism a Me' Polomare canonically taking an Element's own designs for her own.
Still, though, I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea. Thanks for giving it a shot looking it over anyway - the changes I made to it are all the more fitting because of your striking criticism.
10373257
Happy to hear I satisfied there.
This seems to reference a bunch of other fics on the site; might as well add some links to those?
10381294
Cut down on those, actually; it took away a bit too much from the main story. Only one that's here - and that'll remain here - is the link to A New Lease on Life in the second chapter.
I'm confused.
I thought Leech was Tekky's assistant in the shop, going by Some Leech's fics about the potion pair.
Or is it reversed for this fic?
10404022
Oh, she still is. Was there a segment that made it look otherwise?
10404164
10404205
Whoops, had the the two dialogue rejoinders switched there. Fixed it.
Thanks for looking out,, R.S.S.