Foal's Play
Celestia arched her back and neck, stretching as she blinked tiredly. The castle was silent, as was usual for the early morning. She made her way across her room to the mirror and lifted a brush with a slight effort of will.
The image in the mirror seemed off. Rather than the usual golden tint of her magic, a light red hue coated her reflection. Except the aura around her horn was the usual color. Blinking slowly, she turned and used a spark of magic to light a candle before turning back.
She was pink.
It took her tired brain a long moment to work through what that observation meant, and to form a proper and intelligent response. “Huh?”
A noise caught her attention and she turned toward her bedroom doors, which had been left open just a crack. A moment later, her sister’s laughter came from the hallway beyond.
Celestia sighed, turning to her desk on the far side of the room. With a quick flick of magic she dragged the quill across it, marking a dark X through March thirty-first. “Happy April Foals Day to you too, sister.”
*****
The guards were the strangest change, Scootaloo decided. After the second or third attempt to kidnap or kill her, the princess had decided she needed protection around the clock.
Biggs was an older career guard. He was a stout pegasus with a cutie mark depicting the airfield he’d been named after. Cheese Wedge, an earth pony who’d been lied to by his recruiter, was a competent guard, though he really wanted to be a cook. They’d spent most of their time near Scootaloo, even taking Dash’s last spare room when she offered. They weren’t unfriendly, but they took getting used to.
They looked up when a knock came at the front door, and Biggs started to rise. Apple Bloom, waved her hoof at him. “Ah’m already up. If somepony was gonna attack, they wouldn’t knock first.”
With a shrug the large pony settled back down, picking a book up and turning the page.
“Well, hi, Thistleroot,” Apple Bloom said from the front hall. “Haven’t seen ya around all week.”
“Yeah, work’s been busy, but I finally have a day off.”
Of course Thistleroot would come by today of all days, Scootaloo thought. It’s probably his favorite day of the year. “Wait, Apple Bloom, don’t...” The cackle of a joybuzzer cut her off mid sentence. A few seconds later, Thistleroot came into the living room. Apple Bloom followed just behind him, mane smoking and an annoyed glare focused at him.
“Hey, Scootaloo. I’ve been meaning to ask, did you go to my house while I was gone? The kitchen’s a mess, and I can’t find the missing table leg anywhere.”
“Oh, right that,” Scootaloo said, reaching for a piece of wood sitting on the coffee table.
Thistleroot accepted the table leg wordlessly, arching an eyebrow. After a second he shrugged. “Ready to go?”
“Go where?”
“All over the place. I’ve got a whole list made out for the greatest day of the year.”
“I’ll pass,” Scootaloo said, shifting deeper into the chair.
“Aww, don’t be like that,” Thistleroot said, pouting. “You haven’t gone out all week.”
“Maybe because I’m a social pariah?”
“Eh, it’s been a week already. If everypony hasn’t forgotten already, I’m sure they will the next time some immortal evil tries to take over.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes.
“Ah think you should go,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah know you’ve been trying to stay positive, but you can’t just sit here cooped up all day. When was the last time you even stretched your wings?”
“They’re right, it’s not good for a young mare to stay at home all day. You need some fresh air every once in a while,” Cheese Wedge added.
“Who asked you?” Scootaloo grumbled under her breath.
*****
“Don’t want to be an Equestrian Idiot,” Pal sang along with the radio as he deftly mixed a little more blue into the center of the painting palette. Satisfied with the tint of his new green, he wiped the excess paint off the brush and turned to the canvas. “Don’t want a neigh-tion under the new media.”
A knock interrupted his song before he could begin his painting. Carefully setting his tools aside, he flipped off the radio and made his way to the door. With a flicker of green light, he opened it, his usual friendly smile in place to greet his guest.
Star Shine glared angrily down at him.
Pal jumped, eyes going wide. Star Shine was supposed to be in prison, and Pal had accidentally been the one to send him there. He staggered back, panic gripping his chest.
He was about turn and run when he realized the Star Shine standing in front of him was in black and white. And two dimensional.
“April Foals!” Somepony shouted from behind the life-sized print of Star Shine’s arraignment picture. The large sheet of newsprint fell, bunching up. Behind it was a smiling Thistleroot. Beside him was Scootaloo and a third pony Pal had never met.
“Thistleroot?” Finally his ears went flat, the last traces of fear gone. “Really?”
*****
“Faster, Blue Moon! Move those wings! Clear Skies, what did I tell you about about your form? Decrease your drag! Alright, get your lazy, good for nothing flanks over here!” Coach Thunderhead seemed to be in a good mood for once. He wheeled a metal cage across the field as his students touched down around him. Inside were dozens of bright red and yellow balls.
“Today we’re going to work on your coordination by tossing these balls back and forth to each other.” He flipped open the lid as he spoke. “No flying to catch them, and anypony who misses one owes me ten wing-ups. Any questions?”
Clear Skies raised her hoof nervously. “Uh, sir, how are we supposed to catch them if we can’t fly?”
“What kinda question is that?” Thunderhead shouted. “How do you think you’re supposed to catch them?”
“Well, it’s just that—”
“Just that what? Can’t you do anything without your wings?”
Clear Skies wordlessly raised a hoof. Thunderhead looked up and his jaw dropped in shock. The balls had all floated out of the cage and were lazily climbing higher into the sky.
Just outside of the field, a group of young ponies watched the class take off to collect the helium filled balls. Thistleroot and Pal were doubled over with laughter, tearing up at the dumbstruck look on Hothead’s face. Apple Bloom giggled softly and even Scootaloo smiled.
“Shouldn’t we stop them?” The younger guard asked.
“No,” the older one said with a chuckle. “Not our job, and that mare needs some cheering up.”
“Hey, Biggs, right?” The guards looked up to see Thistleroot had collected himself.
“Yeah?”
“You think you can do us a favor?”
*****
Rainbow Dash flopped onto the couch, tired from the day’s practice. She could barely hear Scootaloo and Apple Bloom rummaging around in the kitchen, and Biggs and Cheese Wedge were talking in the dining room. She thought about grabbing a drink, but the couch was entirely too comfortable, and she couldn’t bring herself to move.
“She’s right there,” Apple Bloom said in a whisper, barely loud enough for Dash to hear. “Just do it.”
“No,” Scootaloo snapped. “We can’t tell her, she’ll freak out. Come on.” Dash closed her eyes with a groan. “We’re going out!” Scootaloo called from the kitchen. Dash contemplated stopping them, but decided against it. Scootaloo was a grown mare. She waved as the two of them left the house.
The guards made their way through the kitchen as Biggs called, “Hey, wait for us.” They reached the door, but hesitated a moment, looking back at Dash. “Uh, Ms. Dash?”
“Yeah?”
“This probably isn’t our place, but we thought you might want to know what they’ve been up to today. They asked us not to tell you, but uh...” Cheese Wedge trailed off.
“We wouldn’t interfere under normal circumstances, but Scootaloo visited a Health Clinic today.” Dash’s eyes snapped open. Without another word the guards nodded and left.
“Ah, ponyfeathers,” Dash cursed, pulling herself out of her seat. She wasn’t the kind to pry, but if Scootaloo was having problems, she couldn’t just let it go. Especially with everything else going on lately. She made her way up to Scootaloo’s room, just to take a quick look around, she told herself.
Her look didn’t take too long. After only a quick glance around she saw a bright blue wrapper out of place on the otherwise tidy dresser. She edged closer to read it, and a heavy weight hit the bottom of her stomach. The package was for a pregnancy test. Beside it was a pamphlet titled “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”.
“Ponyfeathers,” she said again.
“Rainbow Dash?” She turned to see Scootaloo standing in the doorway behind her. “What are you doing in my room?”
Dash stepped aside, pointing a wing at the desk. “I think I should be the one asking questions.”
Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “Oh, that’s not mine. It’s for a friend.”
“Uh-huh?” Rainbow Dash asked skeptically. “Apple Bloom?”
“Uh, no, somepony you don’t know.”
“And you’re holding on to an empty wrapper for them?”
“Uh, well...”
“Is it Thistleroot?”
“Thistleroot? Uh, did you miss that he’s a stallion? He couldn’t... wait, you mean...” Scootaloo’s face went from panicked to a bemused look of discomfort. At the same time a heavy thud came from the closet.
“What was that?” Dash asked.
Finally Scootaloo lost it, her calm facade cracking as she fell onto her haunches, laughing. Like a chain reaction, laughter started in the closet and in the hall behind her. The closet door opened as Pal and Thistleroot stepped out. Apple Bloom and the Royal Guards came in through the other door.
“April Foals,” Scootaloo said between laughs.
Dash glared at each of them in turn, taking an extra second or two for each of the guards before letting out a grudging chuckle. “Alright, not bad, kid.”
“Alright, that’s everypony on my list,” Thistleroot said. “And it’ll be dark soon, I say we call it a day.”
“Actually, there’s one more prank I’d like to do,” Scootaloo said.
*****
Celestia breathed heavily, her pink chest heaving under the tutu. The sombrero leaned dangerously far to the left. Luna sat before her, wearing a full suit of medieval armor and a fedora. The room itself was coated in feathers and honey, while rootbeer fizzled up from the empty vases. The alpaca watched on in interest.
“It appears your pranking has only improved in the thousand years I’ve been gone, sister,” Luna said. “It seems you win, this year at least.”
Celestia nodded in acknowledgment, graceful in victory. Luna wordlessly rose and left the room, armor clanking with every step. Once she was gone, Celestia turned to the alpaca, “Thank you for the assistance.”
“Any time, Princess,” He said, nodding and following the younger princess out of the room.
Celestia took a deep breath as her horn flared up, filling the room with a golden light. After a moment, everything was clean and she was back to her normal shade of white. She left the room, making her way to the next room. She knew there was a clock in there, and had lost track of time during her prank war.
She froze upon seeing the clock. That can’t be right. Shaking her head, she moved on, looking for another clock. The kitchen should have one, and they’d check it regularly, so it wouldn’t be off. She walked quickly, making it to the kitchens a few minutes later. She bit her lip when she saw the clock, trying not to panic. Her horn flared up and she vanished, reappearing in the library. The clock there read the same.
Her horn flared again, and she teleported to the balcony outside her personal quarters. Everypony must be panicking. How could this happen, I haven’t missed a sunset in over eight hundred years. Her horn flared up with an intense light as she reached across space for the familiar weight.
“April Foals!” several voices shouted at once.
Celestia jumped in surprise. She’d been so preoccupied, she hadn’t even noticed half a dozen ponies waiting in her personal quarters.
Scootaloo stood at the front of the group, grinning brightly. Rainbow Dash stood beside her with a similar look. A bit farther back was Apple Bloom. Behind the three of them were Thistleroot, their friend Pal, and the guards that had been ordered to watch Scootaloo. The four at the back looked like they may be sick. At the very back of the room was Luna wearing a little smirk.
“April Foals?” Celestia asked. “Wait, you all set the clocks forward?”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo answered. “By three hours.”
Celestia looked to each of them in turn. Scootaloo and Dash returned her looks with cheery smiles. Apple Bloom shifted uncomfortably, and the others shied away from meeting her gaze. She strolled forward, fixing a look of disappointment on her regal face. “Do any of you realize what could have happened if I’d set the sun early?”
They shook their heads.
“Ponies would panic, thinking something was wrong here in Canterlot. It could lead to riots and anarchy. Is that what you wanted?”
“O-of course not, Princess,” Cheese Wedge stuttered.
“We didn’t think of that,” Pal said shakily.
“You didn’t think, did you?” Celestia asked, slipping into the Royal Canterlot Voice as he eyes began to glow with power.
“We’re so sorry,” Thistleroot said, inching back. “Won’t happen again, Your Sunliness.”
“No, it won’t happen again,” Celestia said. “This ‘prank’ of yours could have gotten many ponies hurt. For these crimes against Equestria, you may sit in Tartarus for the next thousand years!”
Pal and Thistleroot jumped at the sudden increase in volume before finally keeling over.
Celestia smiled as the glow faded from her eyes. “April Foals.”
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Hehehehehe
A bit early for this type of chapter, isn't it?
Just what Scoots needed. A nice, fun little chapter to recoup after all the crap she's gone through. Of course if I know my Trope as well as I think I do, I'm guessing this means all hell will break loose next chapter. Can't wait.
Also, Wedge and Biggs? Someone's a Star Wars fan, or a Final Fantasy fan... or both.
Although hopefully they'll end up better off then they usually do in the Final Fantasy games.
Thistleroot is the greatest prankster ever! Honestly what would Scootaloo do without him?
I would insist that you make a full version of Equestrian Idiot to make up for this, but it turns out that already exists so I guess I'll just let it go instead.
...Can't outprank Celestia.
This was fun.
I really want to know how Celestia won though, from the scene described, it seemed like Luna was in the lead.
That was pretty awesome. They should have actually left though and let RD simmer for a while before revealing the joke.
This is how you April Foals
Been falling behind on this story the past little while and I just caught up, and I have to say; Thistleroot is best pony. Ever.
Good breather chapter, I approve. And good thing Celestia has a sense of humor.
2074569 No you cannot.
That was fun. One problem, though. There need to be two "l"s in "quill".
Thistleroot is best pony
Because what do you do when you're in the public eye as a dangerous terrorist?
Troll the leader of your nation.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Discord probably would've given his left leg to witness a prank war of such epic proportions. I know I would have. Ah, well, I guess that's the price you pay when you incite the overthrow of Celestia instead of waiting patiently for a chance at reformation...
Huehuehue
Yes, Green Day!
I think I saw it ponified as 'Green Hay', once.
Oh, and as for Dash's prank...
April Foals...get it?
2077126
My reaction:
Yes, April Foals, that's the pun I've been using all chapt....ughhhhh*facepalm*
2077235
Hehe.
And just so I know for sure, was that you groaning and giving up trying to explain, or finally getting the double meaning?
2077272
Me getting the double meaning.
2077323
Success.
Great chapter! Had me laughing all the way!!
How did I miss a gem of a chapter like this?!?! I love it!!
Wait, updates piled up on me again? Absurd!
In any event, this chapter was fun, yes, very fun, but seemed a bit off given the other chapters. On second thought, it works well as a nice change of pace.
Ah, the good ol' April Fools Day episode.
Are you trying to kill me with laughter?!
Stop killing me with laughter!
I see what you did there. Someone is a fan of Star Wars or Final Fantasy.