I'm a musician, My favorite charecter is Rainbow dash and I enjoy reading.
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Family, one of the most important things a pony can have. It comes with Love, care, protection, but what about a young orange pegasus named Scootaloo who doesn't have one, and what will two mares do to change that.
(AppleDash)
Special thanks to BronyDak ,aurorablaze and NikitaKitten for editing
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Other than the fact that it's really fast-paced, it does look promising
Allow me to start things off by saying that this story certainly has potential. I like these Appledash stories, mainly because the two of them just seem to connect, being athletic and competitive as they are. Looking forward to more.
WANT MOAR!
.... let me just say something >.< You need to watch some of your grammar, your punctuation and tenses are kinda slipping, and I think I noticed 'your' instead of 'you're' a few times. ^^; If you like, I could try a type of editor thing with you, if you needed an extra nudge =) [sorry to babble, but it really throws me off the story notice these little things </3]
But otherwise, I look forward to seeing what happens next :D the thoughts those two are having are so cute! Will watch, and I hope Scoot is okay =[
I have to agree with the comment above me. There is some potential here, but the technical aspects of your writing are severely lacking. Your quotation marks were all over the place: sometimes you didn't close a quote that you opened, sometimes you mixed single and double quotation marks, sometimes you just used the wrong punctuation within the quote. Not to mention the number of spelling mistakes that you made where you used the wrong homophone, or the way you used your commas.
I too volunteer as an editor, though I likely will not be continuing to follow this story if the grammar and punctuation stay at the same level.
I too have to agree with the above comments, it's a concept I've loved for a long time, but the execution is a bit rough. I myself had the most problem with the Dialogue. I'm not very good with punctuation, so I won't make a good editor, but I suggest you take the editing offers. It'll make this story much better in both the long run and the short run.
I like where this is going... very bueno
I'm curious as to why Scootaloo is in the graveyard crying, much less why she's suddenly scared of Applejack. I think I have an idea of why, but I want to keep reading and find out. So next update soon please.
1151481>>1151496
What these two said. This story needs to slllooooooooooowwwwwww down a bit, give the reader time to catch up on what's going on. Try to describe what the characters feel more, and the setting as well.
1168787
It's because her parents died, remember?
Well this conversation will be interesting
Awesome! I have been waiting for this!
Keep up the great work!
Thank you all so far for reading it, and 1165911 I could not have put it better myself.
Shit man its gettin good!
I like the story, but it seems rushed.
1190247
Agreed. Seems to be going a tad quick. Still, reading! :D
Parent famous wonderbolt. Never mentions it to the biggest fan of wonderbolts.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Very nice story keep on going
dang cliffhanger.
great work keep it up hope to see more from you soonish
Here is chapter three I slowed it down some so hopefully its easier to read. I hope you all enjoy it.
It's pretty good, I like that the scootaloo being an orphan an being taken care of by RD is put into the story. I love stories like that.
very bueno man!
Adorableness ahead!
Actually, I'm pretty sure that Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo are driving each-other demented. Applejack had better be ready for a long tomorrow of playing 'mother confessor' to both of them.
LOVE
The next chapter is going to be delayed a little. I was almost done typing it, and then my computer crashed and i have to retype the hole thing. But hopefully i'll have the next chapter up soon
Sorry this took so long, a lot of things went wrong for me tyring to finish this chapter. But now it's up and I hope you all injoy it. Oh and to 1272450 and 1273613 you were both right.
Fiiiirst? probably not ;)
"Is it even worth trying?"
"Yeah, totally worth it"
1453636 I agree, probably one of my favorite lines i have written.
I really like this story.
I'm liking this story more and more with each chapter.
1456171 Thank you for the advice. I have made all the changes you suggested, and hopefully it will help me not make them in the future.
You have failed to dissapoint me. I thank thee.
I'm enjoying the premise. Please continue when you can!
1461300 I'm glad to not have failed you my good sir.
Woo, sorry it took so long to update, I've had performances almost every day for three weeks.
But I suppose that's the problem with being a music major. Anyway hopefully the next chapter shouldn't take near as long.
Twinkie pie hints?
Mustaches, you get all of them
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8votvVmQr1qf7a4uo1_500.gif
Thumbs up.
"Little girl filly"
That...is incredibly reduundant. You should probably change it just "filly" or because it's Rarity,"Dear".
As of right now, this story will be followed.
1660049 Thanks for noticing that I fixed it.
What kind of music major... Singing, instrumentals, conducting or teaching?
1661980 Instrumental, teaching, with a minor in composition, but to be more exact percussion, which means I play drums of some kind in every ensemble at my college. Its a lot of work but I enjoy it.
Oddly enough, I think that Twilight Sparkle is the best pony to ask for advice. Not only do I bet the library has a copy of "Foal, Colt and Filly Care" by Doctor Sprock but Twilight herself has raised Spike to be a neurotic but very good-natured, polite and helpful young dragon. She must know most of the tricks, especially when it comes to the dreaded homework.
Yes Update!!!
1659674
got to 
for advice, 
is a terrible mother. She constantly yells at 
to get books that she probably knows where they are (cause she's the librarian). She makes him write letters for her even though he can't spell very well and we've seen 
write letters on her own before. And whenever she goes on an adventure, she leaves him behind! Not only is it irresponsible to leave a child alone like that, but Spike could be crucial to an expadition: EXAMPLE: Say the mane 6 were in some mountains far from ponyville, and 
gets mortally wounded. If she doesn't get medical help that only a trained professional can give, she'll die in half an hour. 
can't fly her to a hospital because the rush would kill her, 
can't heal herself, and 
can't teleport that far. 
has parchment, quills, and a flat surface to write on. BUT, she left 
at home. Well, flutter shy is doomed then. TOO BAD 
left 
at home.
Don't let
1670525 Wow you have very strong feelings about this don't you.