Cars are still parked outside. If the rapture had happened, why was it unrecognizable? Why was the sky blue? Why did no one tell me? Do these things not announce themselves?
Fiddlesticks is tired of falling and faded colors.
My entry for PonyFest Online 3.0's Iron Author event, refitted for the May Pairing 2020 Contest.
Written in two hours with the themes 'hippogriff culture, a hobby/career in the arts, and a rare fruit' (although my connections to these were sparse at best). Top ten finalist. Check out the other entries here!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Your character work and your imagery and similes are consistently top notch, and this story is no exception. Great stuff.
10262702
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
The beginning confused me at first. Is Fiddlesticks having nightmares?
I liked all the sensory descriptions, and how the opening sentences of each chapter contrast each other. I did both of those in Silent Wings. I also love how you wrote Silverstream.
Is Fiddle depressed?
10263456
In a sense, sure! We can call them nightmares :)
10263481
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Yes, Fiddle here has been through some things, and the implication is she’s struggling with depression.
10263531 I was wondering if this had anything to do with Sister, then I remembered that Fiddlesticks is dead in that one. Is this a pseudo-sequel to another one of your fanfics?
10263538
I thought about that too! But remember that in Sister all Vinyl hears are the words “killed herself:” we never know if there was more to that sentence, for example “tried to kill her self.”
But either way, I think the spirit of that piece carries on in this one.
Also, is the uncommon pairing Fiddlesticks and Strawberry Sunrise, or Fiddlesticks and Silverstream?
10263576
It'd be Silverstream and Fiddlesticks according to the tags.
So I'll go more into depth with my next comment as it will encompass the entire story, rather than one chapter. But for this one, I'll say what I feel so far about it. I can see people taking issue with repetition in this story, and overall it has a dull edge to it. However, these people would be wrong to say such. This is loneliness and depression, the kind I'm familiar with. So the same points of the world seeming gray, and feeling like you're falling endlessly to some bottom that will meet you unfavorably, are excellent thematically for the raw emotions on display! It makes Fiddle recognizing she can get better with Strawberry all the more painful when it doesn't pan out.
Back to the dull edge point. A knife that's sharp can kill you, obviously. But a knife with a dull edge can kill you that much more slowly. So when emotions are repeated, as they often, painfully, are when you're depressed, it's a dull knife slicing away at your sanity and willpower. So this said, the weaknesses that may come up are actually strengths working to make something great!
Wow, what a way to both describe the motion, but also the emotion Fiddle feels. This is so excellent!
Very subtle here, with the nod. I loved it, and I love your work in how I see Silver Stream too! This uplifting optimist who wants to know as much as she can about the world that fascinates her! The dialogue here is solid and so natural and fluent!
Wow, so that ending was outstanding. You've been playing with colors a lot this story, greys marking depression and how it can cloud your experience in the world, and the flashes of color indicating flashes of emotion breaking from this. That, I loved. Then at the end, to describe everything as calling out to her, also great! Fiddlesticks felt alone most of the story, but was reached out to, and found that somepony out there, cared about her, and was genuinely interested in her. Strawberry reached out, and she was a gleam of color. Silver Stream imparted her optimism and the world became colorful again. It's a simple story, but very well done! To sum up, the filling of the hole that she dug too deep was excellent, if but a tad on the nose. Though, it's completely excusable because of just how damn well it fits it!
Overall, the technical aspects were done superbly, and the emotional theme running through everything was also done very well too! The story told here was direct, and the prose to do it was stylized and didn't overstay its welcome. This is an underrated work, and I hope more people unearth this gem, and see the glimmer of color across their face.
10356742
Thanks Ruby!
Means a lot to me that you liked it, this is in my opinion a far better story than never forever :U
Guess it was a bit personal too, but I'm really glad it all worked out in the end. Really happy you liked it!