A new life starts in a new world. Join Fox as he makes new friends and finds family when he's alone. After waking up to find the only family he had is gone and in a new world filled with magic and ponies. How will he make it through the times ahead. Many new thing will happen. Just to let y'all know only my OC if antro
And all chapters have been edited so I hope you guys and gals like it
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is beautiful. The only advice I have is to run it through a grammar checker like the one built into Word or Google Docs.
Love the story already. Keep the good work
Awe omg my heart its adorable. Keep going plz
Ok i knew he was going to adopt her i know i would
Hah a Durian. Smells like hell tastes like heaven. Legends has it that those who dislike them were not fit for heaven. ( JK I know some people just don't like it but man is it delicious and something that I would religiously promote)
Me: *thinks about energy drinks and how she would react to them* i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/027/917/Screen_Shot_2018-12-20_at_12.59.02_PM.jpg
I'm killed by the fight scene. My long neglected inner chuuni was throbbing. I'm not sure if that's good.
Wow, Fox seems to really be going up in the world.
Love it! Also jackfruit is not spiky.
Now that you have put in Durian and jackfruit into the story it's time to complete the trifecta. I beseech thee add the cempedak into the mix. Its like a mix between Durian and jackfruit with a sickly sweet smell like jackfruit and creamy pulpy flesh like Durian.
Thought so. And shes had you all fooled for years.
Confusing but once I got it it was good
Read this... Please. I can't stand when stories are like this. I want to read it, but the grammar is so infuriating. God, it's just so infuriating. I want to read this because it seems like a good story but It so infuriating.
10254913
You have the right Idea. In fact, I did that before and it helped. I only have three steps to help this story.
Step one, read the link I left. If you don't want to read it all, please at the very least read the dialogue section.
Step two, get the Grammarly extension for whatever browsers your using (chrome, firefox, etc) and use it. It will unlined things while you write and you can go back to your chapters and with Grammarly, it will check the entire chapter.
Step three, do what Efadd said. Go into google docs copy and paste in to there and use the grammar checking tool. You can spam the correct tool, but I recommend reading the sentence before you decided to ignore or correct something.
Step four, the most annoying part of editing. Read the chapter before posting. I'd say to use the auto read function the fimfiction has to catch any run-on sentence. But I wouldn't recommend only doing that. Remembering step one, you need to read along as Gdoc's and Grammarly aren't going to check every quotation marks to see if the first letter is capitalized, nor do they check to see if the quotations are even written correctly.
Step five, sit down, take a deep breath, and relax in peace knowing you did all that work and you're finally done. Then despair when you realize that was only one chapter.
I know editing and proofreading are boring and agonizing making you feel like it was faster to create a chapter than to proof-read it, but everyone needs to do it.
Or you can get someone to proofread your story for you. Check out this link, trust me, you'll want to find a proofreader in one fo those groups or you can go the agonizing way of doing it your self, which is what I do.
Now I'm going to go back to reading the story.
Edit: Grammar is free, but the paid version is probably better that you wouldn't need google docs I would think. I have the free version so I don't know.
. Wonder what's going to happen to Fox Lilly Poison Joke is no joke Good story interesting concept.
Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. They did not fall on blind eyes and currently in the process of editing. As of right now chapter 1 to 3 have been fixed and swapped out. I hope you enjoy the new chapters more. Again thank you and im sorry for my bad grammer skill and im working to improve them so my editor doesn't have to work as hard.
You forgot the meaning of the word paragraph there.
So only got through the description so far so havent dug into the story yet but... one point of criticism (hopefully constructive) the spelling in the description:
hes - he's or he is
Woth - with
If - is
i - I
Just as this is the first interaction you have with the reader it may do to go back and make some corrections. Agian this is intended to be constructive.
(My own spelling/grammer isn't the greatest so trust me I get it)
Thank you everbody and I fixed stuff
Just a small typo.
Story is realy good. Cant wait to see how this is going further.
I’m kind of sad now there’s not another chapter please continue making good stories
Ooh snap, a kidnapping. And the part with blueblood, and celestia's response to that, was hilarious! Hope fox can get rosy back.
I noticed quite a few spelling errors here and there. It's not horrendous but it is numerous. These are the few I've found.
Sun
Baltimore?
This one is obvious just making sure you noticed
Again, Baltimare
And again
Allowed
Torch perhaps
One more for good measure
Tall
Hop in pal
Pal
I'm beginning to see a pattern here
Who
Add an it at the end of take
Knight
Sir
Blue
Juices
Gnaw
Spot
Slide
small problem twillight never introduce Fox or told either Fluttershy or Rarity his name
Sorry guys thought I found all the mistakes. I'll reread it and fix what I find. Thanks guys for the comments...and I can't believe I miss spelled Baltimare so much
THEY TOOK HER, NO!
KILL THEM
Umm, I think you meant to put the word stairs here.
Somehow I think you meant Rosy instead of Rost here. There were some more spelling errors but I'm too lazy to go hunting them right now.
Otherwise, this was a nice bonding chapter.
Weight
She, weight
Their or the? Both works
Theirs
Crates
Juice
In
Tartarus i assume
Didnt. Wait, if 5 min is 1 hour then shouldn't that be nine hours
Weight
Great chapter. Love the not so subtle nod of blooming romance with Merrion. Can't wait for the next chapter with them dealing with the mysterious ship pursuers
Im sorry everyone i thought i found everything and it would be 9 hours. My editor kinda...stopped so i have to reread it and try to fix it myself
I actually started to cry
Sweeeeeet! I love this series and I think it could be good as an animation as well. Can't wait for the next chapter!! UwU
The song wasn't available. Though from the thumbnail, it's Caravan Palace. I approve of your tastes.
Well dayum brudder. This story is getting more exciting by the chapter. Love how you are doing it so keep going!
Believe me, I know that feeling of 'getting into the zone' where the words and events flow like a river. More than once it's happened to me on Discord damn their '2000 character' limit.
Was that Fox's father?
Well I can give a few suggestions about the poison jokes. There are several ways you can go about. One of it is incorporating it into the main chapter if you feel that the particular jokes has any impact to the current plot. You can also make a side chapter if you want to write a joke and the premise being how the characters in Ponyville or Canterlot would react to it. These are filler chapters. However I would give a warning. Some people don't like it when a filler chapter is added to a story that puts its main focus on the plot. Maybe write as an intermission would work. That's all I can say for now.
👍
... wasn't he supposed to go to Canterlot?
Someone needs to be reminded of the pecking order.
Don't do the permanent arm loss thing, or even the prosthetic replacement. They're both clichès.
Something that isn't used often is the regrown limb being ENTIRELY new. Fresh, sensitive skin with no blemishes, scars, sun-bleaching (because fur) or even the natural pigmentation that has to develop with age, leaving it look mismatched to the opposite limb for a time.
Hey man just sent my 1st story in for moderation if you ever wanna collab some day tell me my story is kinda like yours foxes are my favorite animal so I was kind of drawn to story anyway, but your stories great so far can't wait for the next chapter.
Every main characters first concern besides survival.
Figure out how to stop the natural brainwashing/mind control magic of equestria.
Nice. Especially the ending of this chapter. I can only sum up this with one thing....
UwU
Why did you make your OC the only anthro character? I'm not complaining, mind you, it just seems weird to only have one anthro pony.
10872090
He's not an anthro pony. He's a kitsune, a shapeshifting human with fox features. Or more accurately a "Mystic Fox" as they are called in this fic. Hence the title.
What he said lol plus all of the other mystics are anthro as well like his mother and so on. Also the abyssians (problem spelt that wrong lol) are bipedal cats so yeah.
Dayum! Does this mean that twink is fox's grandmother or something? Cause it looks like it to me.