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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This bit hurts man, but things will be better on the other side.
It's imagining stuff like this:
And this:
What really gets the tears flowing for me, actions can speak louder than words, and this entire chapter is already an emotional ride. At least things will get better, but how long will it take?
Also i guess all those journalists mean Twilight's secret catburb is finally out of the bag.
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thanks so much.
I wanted it to feel real. too many times in stories like these the hurt character just dives right into their lovers arms and its suddenly all okay...that isnt what I would call realistic.
and yeeeees. those damn journalists! stay out of catbirbs life!
*deep breath* WHHHHY?!!! this struggle is getting more intense, no dramatics, none of that soap opera lvl BS, just quiet waiting and trying to express love and affection to the survivor as she has to struggles with herself to be open to love again!
also, Your Twi-"secret fling" B plot is gaining more speed it seems. wonder how it's gonna affect things from here on.
Up to this point, we discovered how gabby's emotional turmoil runs deep, now we get to swim through it with Gilda. With everything out in the open now, we get to see how advanced Gilda's waiting game is. I can't help but wonder what she is up to now, I do hope she realizes that she has a thin tight rope to balance on when it comes to showing affection from afar.
Just, don't do
anythin-any more stuff that could jeopardize this already fragile bond.Smashing job so far!
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eeee much thanks floof!
Sometimes these stories are relatable to a level that hurts a little. I'm super sad for Gabby, I hope Gilda finds a way to help her.
I'm glad that Gilda knows that Gabby loves her for real. Imagine how would she feel if she didn't and Gabby acted towards her like that.
Great chapter!
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I actually noticed a lot of writers I tried out did that tropey thing where EVERYTHING works out perfectly... I wanted more realism in my stories, ya know?
so with gabby, she has trauma, that stuff takes time to go through. And gilda isn't able to help her all the way. but she does love her ^^ and wants to helps!
Eesh, I see I'm a bit late on this, buncha personal stuff this last month that kinda took me away from the concept of relaxation ;v;
No matter, time to read, enjoy, and do my due diligence as always!~
And this time, since there's kind of a metric assload of spoilers just in the corrections here, think I'mma try that spoiler thing.
sometimes it was both.
a growl leaped from her beak
"I love you! a-and
She mumbled. Rainbow dash had
there was a small dark feather
dusty, old hay
love you...Gabby
she lifted a paw and then thought better of it.
what was hard
who knew, who cared
no one was even awake
Just gonna throw all capitalizations here, I still stick to my claim of being the Oprah of capitalization errors ^v^
Gympie Gympie for example
Nothing wrong here, just commenting on everyone's favorite suicide plant as one does when it's mentioned. Go figure the Everfree of all things has that, they probably have the boner spiders too...
Please...please just let me find her and she's safe
Now, this one is one of my personal nit-picks about grammar, and of course this is all up to personal preference, but I think something like "and see she's safe" would work better. Don't mind this one though, moving on!
handle ...well,heavier
Just missed a space there with "well, heavier."
Not to many errors other than the caps section, and a couple minor things.
Other than the ellipses issues I have with you not putting spaces after them, but if I kept pointing those out every time we'd be here all dayNow with the formalities out of the way, on to my own talk.
...Why you gotta make the bird cry, man? Like, seeing Gabby in a state like that, breaks mah heart ;v;
Really hoping that letter at the end gets through to her, gives her that little confidence boost to be able to open her up, chip away at the trauma little by little.
As always, good writing aside from the minor errors, and tugging on the heartstrings again... I swear, this is like a love-hate thing, I love reading this, I hate the feels -v-
Oh, also, if you want me to skim through these ahead of time for corrections once in a while I'd be more than happy to help with that! Give it that spit shine,
tooooootally not an excuse to get that insider knowledgebut seriously I'd love to help out like that if you'd like!11000771
EEEEEE winter breeze!!!! Glad to have ya back birb!
thank you for those edit checks, I really appreciate it!
and ya know what sure! hows about I make a formal request for you as an editor?
how do we go about doing that?
11001303
That is a good question, and I have absolutely no idea if I'm being absolutely honest.
Hell, I don't even know if that is a thing here on FIMFiction, most I can think of is either Discord or like, Google Docs or something '^v^
Ugh. I hate that I'm so slow reading this. That was a great chapter.
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reading isn't a contest of speed, but more an adventure where you take your time and enjoy the pace ^^
I'm glad you like it so far!