What's this? A girl who likes ponies?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hmmm Ditzy is very Pinkie in this interpretation
You're word use, spelling, grammar, etc is very good. The atmosphere of the story is very bubbly, which makes sense to a degree since Ditzy is one of the main characters. Mac is around 4/10 out of character, but that's always a variable. Lyra is pretty accurate.
All in all a silly and amusing fic. Well done.
I liked it, but one thing that really bothered me was how you started with Ditzy not wearing a bra, then made a big deal with Lyra asking her to take said non-existent bra off. Kinda threw it for me.
All-in-all it was pretty good, even if I had to suddenly imagine a magical bra appearing from nowhere on Ditzy's chest
1132795 Lyra has no confirmed personality. Her personality is ALWAYS accurate, unless she's being described as being a bloodthirsty murderer, and even that works, with enough explaining.
I notice you say ditzy isn't wearing a bra when she takes her dress off, but then you have Lyra all but rip one off when Lyra's getting fingered
1133078
No entirely true.
Lyra is as far as I have seen in both the show and fanon is best described as a slightly emotional unicorn prone to tearing up (she tears up when twilight ignored her in EP 1 and again in the Storm of the Century when a parasprite ate her sandwich and she is seen sulking before Bon Bon shows up in Putting Your Hoof Down in the Market scene). And of course the fandom has her as human obsessed.
Then again a lot of this head cannon and subject to perspective.
1133022 I fixed that now! *blushes*
1138110
There we go, now not only is it correct and fluid, but the request for boobs is funny, too. Much better
1132795 Why thank you! *bows*
1133310
I prefer emotional Lyra to Human obsessed Lyra. Case in point.
Emotional Lyra
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/210/e/e/sad_lyra_by_mcawesomebrony-d422m75.png
Human obsessed Lyra
i.imgur.com/ay9Bl.jpg
2842602
I think she's a bit of both.
2843208
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDYvMTEvMDhfMDVfMzBfMjBfMzQ1ODQ4X19zYWZlX3NhZF9hbm9uX2x5cmFfaGVhcnRzdHJpbmdzX2FydGlzdF9jb2xvbl9kal9kYXNoX2JsYWNrX2Rhc2hfbl9kYXNoX3doaXRlX2NvbG9yX3NhdHlyX2NyeV9ob3BlX2x5ZGlhX3RlYXJqZXJrZXIiXV0/345848__safe_sad_anon_lyra%2Bheartstrings_artist-colon-dj-dash-black-dash-n-dash-white_satyr_color_cry_hope_lydia_tearjerker.jpg
Why do we hate you, Lyra? Because two of the things associated with you are...ahem, Being very emotional and having a little bit of a human obsession. Especially with their hands. Hell, Come on everybody! If you're making a HiE fanfic, throw in Lyra! Just....don't behead her and Bon-Bon via Covenant Elite like my friend did.
2843317
BZZZZZT!!
Wrong answer.
Lyra is in my top 5. I reserve my anger for a writer's crappy characterization of Lyra. Which this isn't, in my opinion.
2843373
Wait, are we playing a quiz show now? Ooh! I have one now! Who was the person who started off the High-Heel Fashion?
Answer:
images.wikia.com/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/7/7d/3005.jackie-chan-meme-why.jpg