• Member Since 7th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Krickis


I’m like a literary siren, feeding off the negative emotions of fictional characters. Patreon

Comments ( 85 )

I apologize in advance for the horrible pun, but I look forward to seeing what you cum up with in this story

10159646
lol I’ll accept the pun, but don’t get your hopes up too high with the sex in this story. I do think the story is something people will enjoy, but I’m extremely new to writing sex and it’ll probably be a while before I get any good at it. That said, I hope you do enjoy what’s to come! :ajsmug:

Which meant Twilight had to grow a dick. For magic, for friendship, for the good of ponies everywhere, Twilight would give herself a dick!

hehehehehehe

good start! intrigued to see where this goes :twilightsmile:

‘No, shut up, you stupid fucking whore! Fluttershy is your friend, you can’t have thoughts like that about her! No matter how much I want it…’

She always did this. She always told herself she wasn’t going to masturbate anymore, that it only left her feeling miserable afterwards, that she was supposed to be better than giving in to such carnal pleasures. And yet, she always came back to it. Almost every single day, at some point, Twilight would cave in and touch herself.

oh noooooo sex related self hatred :raritydespair:

10159713
Haha yeah, this isn’t going to be your typical porn story, there’s fallout to the characters’ actions here. Note however that I’m an extremely sex-positive person, and while there will be this self-hatred aspect, the point of the story is learning to accept oneself and one’s sexuality.

Anyway, glad you’re enjoying it, and I hope you’ll like where it goes!

10159713

also we may be *way* off the mark but it kinda feels like there's an additional layer on top of the sex related self hatred :duck: mayhaps one alicorn had genital dysphoria prior to the day's events? probably not, but we did get that vibe from early in the chapter even though it did seem to be stating the opposite later (although only from starlight's perspective, so who knows!)

10159730

oh yes, we didn't expect the self-shaming to last unchallenged, it was definitely an "oh no poor twi" comment :twilightsmile:

10159734
I love the headcanon, but no, in this story Twilight was born a cis girl. But it’s written by a transwoman, so if it’s coming across with the vibe that Twilight’s used to genital dysphoria, that’s probably why – it’s written from someone used to it. Within this story, Twilight’s interests in genital modification is just to help Starlight and other transmares in her position.

10159745

yeah fair enough, was a wild guess also it wasn't even a "twi's not cis" guess so much as random speculation on if cis people could have genital dysphoria as well, thus solving twi's and starlight's problems at the same time in opposite directions 🤷‍♀️

and regardless, we're trans too and appreciate the representation! :twilightsmile:

The seriousness with which you're tackling the core focus here is unusually rare. At the same time, though, the more jovial overall tone lessens some the impact the more dire scenes would have otherwise produced. And the pacing as coming off as a tad rushed. Still, I'm curious to see where this goes.

10160860
Fair enough on the pacing. Reading it back I felt the same way, but since this is meant to be my for fun story, I didn't bother to fix it. Doesn't make it better for you, but it is something I'm keeping in mind for future chapters (I'll admit that the next chapter in particular suffered from pacing issues, but chapters I've yet to write will hopefully be better).

As for the tone and the blend between taking the subject seriously and keeping it jovial, I think I hit the balance I want. I'm sorry it didn't work for you, but for me, I'm rather happy with it.

In any event, I hope you'll enjoy what's to come!

Great story, pacing is great. I hope you update


Yes I did that for the rhyming,but seriously. This is some good shit and I hope you update, have my like and favourite.

10161332
I thought the pacing was a bit fast myself, but I'm glad it worked well for you. I'll definitely be updating, I have two more chapters written and ready for posting over the next few weeks, and hopefully in that time I'll write one more and have at least three weeks of updates (though no promises). Regardless, I don't start things and not finish them, so expect to see plenty more from me :raritywink:

I don't think the "Blowjob scene" went too fast (Twi had no prior experience) but the initiation went a little fast for my taste. It could have had a bit more build-up regarding Twilights' restraints and confusion because the new status quo.
But don't worry about my opinion too much. I have abysmal writing and creativity skills and my criticism is only optional.

Otherwise, this story is really good.
I personally resonate with Pinkie in your story.
Mainly: "What it would be like to change gender but only temporarily" and "let's help a friend with the problem even if it includes sex".

Twilight sighed. “He didn’t have a reason to develop a disenchantment, because he didn’t want one.”

Starswirl the Bearded epic transmisogyny moments
(jk jk)

10171317
lmao well from what we’ve seen Starswirl is kinda a dick and didn’t understand friendship (and plausibly caring about others) like Twilight did

10171276
Yeah, that’s fair. Tbh I was pretty dissatisfied with this chapter as a whole and probably should’ve tried harder to fix it. Now that I’m actually posting this story (I’d been sitting on the first four chapters for a while) I’ll try to work on them a little more :twilightblush:

Pinkie seemed to find it funny, at least. “Aww, it’s okay! She’s just happy to see her new pal Pinkie Pie!”

:pinkiehappy:

“Yeah,” Twilight said, although she doubted very much she’d be doing anything else like that with Pinkie.

hmmmmm :twilightblush: nahhh, not possible for this to happen *twice*

(much doubt)

10173635
Of course this won't ever happen again, and it most certainly won't ever escalate into anything even more intimate. Multiple sex scenes in a story like this? What foolishness would that be :trixieshiftright:

It didn't feel rushed to me. Pinks seems the type to go right to the meat (ha) of the matter, and Twi grooving the horny new penis owner/host experience would be reasonably easy to tempt, non?

Cuddles instead of a "Happy First BJ" party - with tinsel, confetti, and balloons - now that is a little surprising. :pinkiehappy:

I hope Twi can process her feelings about all of this in a positive way. It's an Advanced Friendship Lesson that could easily leave a pony with a sore head and heart.

10176350
Lol I usually tone Pinkie down a bit, I just can't write her well if I try to write her completely show style. I've gotten so used to writing her this way that the cuddles didn't even register to me as something odd haha

This will be a long story, so it's safe to say Twi will have some ups and downs about this along the way. But while there will be a lot of drama for what's essentially a porn story, this story won't get super heavy on drama, I think.

Ooh! This story got a hater so salty that they went through and downvoted a bunch of comments too! Hi, hater! :yay:

“In her moments of weakness, she would revel in the memory. That disgusted her too.”
Poor twilight:fluttercry:

At least, so far, none of her friends have asked her if they can have her foal.

I appreciete the character you put into this to keep the story from being 95% horny and 5% interactions

10182928
Yeah, she's got a ways to go before she starts feeling better about things...

10183155
Haha yeah, definitely not gonna be that kind of story. I'll be avoiding a lot of the unrealistic porn story tropes here.

10183320
I'm glad to hear it. It's nice to see this story going over well, since I wasn't really sure what people would make of this one

What a beautiful end
I just realized that Wednesday for me is Tuesday night for you gosh time zones are amazing :rainbowlaugh:
But it was worth the wait keep it up(⌒▽⌒)and I will repeat you have my patience (´∀`)

10182858
The hater was probably expecting this fic to be fluffy probably didn't see the M probably saw an E instead

10183868
Glad you’re enjoying it! I hope to make the future chapters also worth the wait, especially since the wait will be longer. I’m having fun with this story, so I’d like to get back to it soon, but I’m finding it hard to write these days :fluttershyouch:

10183872
And lol, I’m not at all worried about the hater. Considering many of the comments they downvoted had to do with being trans, they might be some transphobic asshole. Or maybe like you say, they just hate on M rated stuff, or maybe they just don’t like sad story elements in their porn. Tbh I would love to know just because I always find it hilarious when people get so mad at a fic they downvote comments :rainbowlaugh:

10184580
Its fine I can wait for as long as it takes I'll have to reread but it would totally be worth it :twilightsmile:

Along the way, Twilight thought of Pinkie and what had happened between them. She thought often about that encounter. It had only been a few days, but it scarcely left her thoughts. Most of the time she was disgusted with herself for allowing something like that to happen with her friend. In her moments of weakness, she would revel in the memory. That disgusted her too.

hmmm revel you say. *cough*gay

Rarity’s mouth twitched. “Our dear Pinkie can lack tact sometimes…”

was that what that was? :pinkiehappy:

“And others.” That was news to Twilight, but she wasn’t surprised.

awwwww

Fluttershy giggled. It was such a musical sound. “I’m glad to run into you.”

the cuteness
the gayness
agh 💜

“No,” Fluttershy answered quickly. “I… I know we’re best friends too, I was just, I don’t know, curious. I’m sorry, I’m being nosy.”

noooo you missed it
dang it

It felt nice being so close with Fluttershy. They didn’t even need to say anything, Twilight moved her arms around Fluttershy so she was holding her, and Fluttershy leaned back against Twilight. With nopony else around, it was like the night was just theirs.

you're so close
damnit stopppppp with the misdirections pls :raritydespair:

And that, boys and girls, is why you read the whole book before you give yourself a dick!

Don't be a cock, or you'll get a cock.

Now we know, and knowing is half the battle!

10209697
Knowing is half the battle, and the other half is experimenting with new body parts :pinkiehappy:

“I’m fine with boy shorts.” Twilight usually wore bikinis or hipsters, but she could see why boy shorts would be better. “So… is that it? I don’t need, like, special panties?”

Rarity would call it a crime against fashion. :rainbowlaugh:

10358389
lol well, we must accommodate the equipment we've got and boy shorts work best for that :twilightblush:

just do whatever you feel right bro this story is pretty interesting porn aside

10358539
Glad to see people are still interested in this story even without it being a straight up porn. I feel a little bad for changing gears, but no one I've talked to seems to mind :yay:

10358556
by all means as i said just do what you want...
of course i would be grateful if some porn filters in there from time to time but that’s my second brain talking

have fun bru

The room was only illuminated by Starlight’s lava lamp and the light coming in from the doorway, so it looked like Twilight was right about Starlight having just woken up. She sat down on her friend’s bed as Starlight flipped on a light switch then took a seat beside Twilight.

she has a lava lamp? somehow makes sense even though it's something we had never considered. nice!

Twilight smiled. “Alright, that sounds good. Thank you.”

i appreciate the awkward but still normal everyday conversations, just some nice story flow

Starlight pulled open a drawer and handed Twilight a pair of blue boy shorts. They were probably Twilight’s size, since she and Starlight shared clothes a lot.

living together, not dating, but hey the clothes are there, might as well share them!

“Oh. That makes sense.”

ah the intricacies of transfem terminology

“Twi? You okay?” Starlight nudged Twilight. “Er, do you want me to masturbate to you?”

:duck:

“No, of course not!” Why would Twilight want Starlight to treat her the way she treated Fluttershy or Pinkie? “And I know you wouldn’t… You’re a good friend…”

this would be hilarious if she weren't so conflicted about it
like, you're very gay, fluttershy and pinkie are also very gay, you're just also very anxiety

“Yeah, well, I guess I have some standards.”

Of course she did. It was just Twilight that didn’t. “Yeah…”

oof

Fortunately, she had an excuse literally built in. “Guess you really are having a tough time with that thing…”

no, bad twi, stop avoiding the issue!

They smiled at each other for a moment, then before Twilight knew what was happening, Starlight put her other hand on Twilight’s cheek, leaned in, and kissed her. And before she knew what was going on, Twilight was kissing her back.

awwww, gay :twilightsmile:

“You thought it was okay to just kiss me out of nowhere? You know how I feel about Fluttershy!”

you are multi-gay! (probably? hopefully?) you just haven't gotten around to figuring that out yet... :twilightoops:

Twilight opened the door and walked down the hall, and she found herself crying once again.

well fuck
:raritydespair:

edit:

“If Trixie wanted me, she could’ve had me time and again by now. Same with Fluttershy about you, you know.”

bad move starlight, especially since there are things going on, but it's between two oblivious/anxious gays so it's just really slow going...

10358630
lol for whatever reason, I really liked the idea of Starlight having a lava lamp. It just felt like the kinda thing she'd own :twilightsheepish: And awkward but normal conversations are a big part of what I do :raritywink:

Hehe pretty much everyone in this story is very gay, as I'm sure you're realizing. In my other main series, I approach queer themes a little more realistically; characters are all different orientations, and sometimes that causes one-way romantic attraction. For this story though, I decided it's just one big lesbian bash :rainbowkiss:

bad move starlight, especially since there are things going on, but it's between the two oblivious/anxious gays so it's just really slow going...

Yeah, I don't think Starlight really meant to say that, it was just an impulsive comment in the heat of the moment. Not that it's okay or anything, but yeah, big oof

10358682

I really liked the idea of Starlight having a lava lamp

perfection :pinkiehappy:

Hehe pretty much everyone in this story is very gay, as I'm sure you're realizing.

ye, tis nice :twilightsmile:

For this story though, I decided it's just one big lesbian bash :rainbowkiss:

hehe, yeah :pinkiehappy: while i appreciate more realistic takes, i also am very much a proponent of "hey they're all really good friends so they're probably all queer in some way, right??" because that's both fun and how things sometimes randomly end up irl, so it's nice. :twilightsmile:

Yeah, I don't think Starlight really meant to say that, it was just an impulsive comment in the heat of the moment. Not that it's okay or anything, but yeah, big oof

oh yeah, definitely some angst there at trixie not noticing her and not really at the top of her game in the moment
i don't hold it against her, but definitely 100% oof.

10358704
I generally prefer more realistic stories, but this whole fic is meant to just be fun for me. That may seem weird with the drama and Twilight's negative view of her sexuality, but like I enjoy writing that stuff while I get enough realism with queer themes in my main series. This one can be more idealized with a fully accepting society and characters who always are the right sexual orientation for one another.

There's a little more to Starlight than that, and this chapter has the first hints at something that'll be a big thing for her in this story. Nothing major, you could reread the whole chapter and you'd probably still miss it, but yeah there's something going on with her here re: Trixie angst. My lips are sealed on what though :trixieshiftright:

10358717
the only thing i can think of without re-reading would be if trixie isn't trans and there's some angst related to that, since trixie would be the first non-trans person she's dated? :duck: other than that, no idea, though i will be intrigued to see what occurs!

Login or register to comment