I don't think the "Blowjob scene" went too fast (Twi had no prior experience) but the initiation went a little fast for my taste. It could have had a bit more build-up regarding Twilights' restraints and confusion because the new status quo.
But don't worry about my opinion too much. I have abysmal writing and creativity skills and my criticism is only optional.

Otherwise, this story is really good.
I personally resonate with Pinkie in your story.
Mainly: "What it would be like to change gender but only temporarily" and "let's help a friend with the problem even if it includes sex".

10171276
Yeah, that’s fair. Tbh I was pretty dissatisfied with this chapter as a whole and probably should’ve tried harder to fix it. Now that I’m actually posting this story (I’d been sitting on the first four chapters for a while) I’ll try to work on them a little more

It was totally with the wait

10172085
Glad you liked it

Pinkie seemed to find it funny, at least. “Aww, it’s okay! She’s just happy to see her new pal Pinkie Pie!”

“Yeah,” Twilight said, although she doubted very much she’d be doing anything else like that with Pinkie.

hmmmmm nahhh, not possible for this to happen *twice*

(much doubt)

10173635
Of course this won't ever happen again, and it most certainly won't ever escalate into anything even more intimate. Multiple sex scenes in a story like this? What foolishness would that be

It didn't feel rushed to me. Pinks seems the type to go right to the meat (ha) of the matter, and Twi grooving the horny new penis owner/host experience would be reasonably easy to tempt, non?

Cuddles instead of a "Happy First BJ" party - with tinsel, confetti, and balloons - now that is a little surprising.

I hope Twi can process her feelings about all of this in a positive way. It's an Advanced Friendship Lesson that could easily leave a pony with a sore head and heart.

10176350
Lol I usually tone Pinkie down a bit, I just can't write her well if I try to write her completely show style. I've gotten so used to writing her this way that the cuddles didn't even register to me as something odd haha

This will be a long story, so it's safe to say Twi will have some ups and downs about this along the way. But while there will be a lot of drama for what's essentially a porn story, this story won't get super heavy on drama, I think.