Trixie the Fake

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Trixie doesn't have anything for her name, all she had was her arrogance but even that was taken away. She wanders Ponyville in a state of depression, when she meets Scootaloo, who helps her realize that she can truly be the Great and Powerful Trixie.

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Comments ( 12 )

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Prane

Prane #1 · Aug 22nd, 2012 · · ·

An interesting take on Trixie and Scootaloo. You might use it as a basis for a bigger and longer story of those two travelling across Equestria someday...

Lenora Goff

Lenora Goff #2 · Aug 22nd, 2012 · · ·

This is an excellent idea, marred by a few errors.

The spacing between paragraphs makes it seem like it's a giant wall of text. There are a few wording issues, and it all feels a little rushed. Trixie seems to be quite quickly becoming a good person. This isn't something I'm against, but it feels like there wasn't any bridge between old and new.

Just my two cents.

mbpony 512

mbpony 512 #3 · Aug 22nd, 2012 · · ·

Keep it up because I would love to see how Rainbow Dash reacts to this.

Frankie

Frankie #4 · Aug 22nd, 2012 · · ·

Trixie adopting Scootaloo? And Trixie doesn't even have a home herself? What kind of orphanage is that Slaphappy running? I don't expect anypony else to look kindly upon this either.

BronyGirl

BronyGirl #5 · Aug 22nd, 2012 · · ·

1136033
Yes, Trixie adopted Scootaloo. Also, she lived in that caravan, which was smashed by the Ursa Minor. Plus, her name is Slaphappy for a reason: she's supposed to be a bad orphanage owner.

Delicious

Delicious #6 · Aug 22nd, 2012 · · ·

The pacing is a little rushed, and I'm unsure about Twilight saying things so mean, but other then that it's a good story. One important question though, who would name their foal Slaphappy?

BronyGirl