Ahh the finale, what trip. But a few things were left unanswered. Where was the real Grogar? Why was Cozy evil? Why wasn't Discord punished for nearly ruining everything?
...
...
I have no idea so you get this story instead.
Other tags: Drama, Random
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You capture my interest.
GROGAR!!!
Goat grandpa's back and he wants his dang bell.
Can't wait to see how this goes!
The idea is interesting, but the huge blocks of text are hard to read. I recommend breaking them up into much smaller paragraphs.
10085793
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
You’re off to an okay start (I share StarlightIsVeryCute's concerns about paragraph length), but the description makes me worried that this story is going to turn into thinly-disguised complaining about the finale.
You’re off to a decent start; however, there’s a little too much information on the villains and thus, making them into huge chunky paragraphs. As some have already advised, divide them into smaller paragraphs. There were barely any spelling mistakes so you’ll do good with this story. Lastly...
DO GROGAR JUSTICE!!!!!
10086177
I thought the profiles were good because they describe their actions and personalities.
10087560
I was suggesting that they be divided into smaller paragraphs so they won’t be too chunky and more readable.
Before I read this, I must know: What exactly happens in this story? The synopsis doesn't say.
Okay, whoever say 'the truth will set you free' should have remember it can cause emotional pain not only to the mind but the heart as well. Also you think Grogar will return Discord's magic or not?
I have a feeling that Grogar is going to take Cozy Glow in as his protege. He does seem to give her praise and feel some sort of sympathy for her.
10090132
Yeah and Grogar made a good point. Did Twilight even find out Cozy had a family?
*Brady bunch intro starts up*
Heres a story, 🎵
Of a guy named Tirek, 🎵
Who once had dreams of bench pressing the world... 🎵
Grogar rebuking and chastising Discord was SOOO satisfying. Thank you. You did a good job with Grogar so far...just as I hoped. Keep it up. Looking forward to the next chapter.
P.S. Grogar showed more concern for the villainous filly then did any of the ponies or creatures. Let that sink in...
10090201
Nothing was ever even brought up about her having a family.....she simply shows up. First she is a cute filly whose heart is in the right place to being a jealous little filly and then on to being evil. I do like to think that she probably had either parents who neglected her and pawned her off on the school or her parents were abusive.....that along with being excluded from the primary clique "the student six" probably caused her to become very jaded and wanted to exact revenge of some sort.
10090223
Ah hah hah nice.
This is a very different and interesting take on Grogar. His chastising of everyone was very satisfying and so was the students and the M6's realization on how they handled Cozy.
I always imagined the REAL Grogar as being like the My Little Pony version of Thanos from the MCU, and I'd say your Grogar is like a more. . .thoughtful Thanos if that makes sense.
10090090
He better NOT give Discord his magic back!
Worst timeline averted just in the nick of time! I'm curious what you'll do with this interesting premise. I'm with TheClownPrinceOfCrime in that the villains' backstory can be cut. I almost did the same thing in my story but someone rightly pointed out that we all know exactly who they are, with the result that people will just skim over all this text. Try to make sure that every paragraph is interesting and serves a real purpose.
This chapter is hilarious to show that friendship magic was just dumb luck. Also will Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy tell Grogar that Discord brought Sombra back to life?
I love Grogar in this chapter. I couldn’t stop laughing 😂!! Great job!
Grogar really is just a tired old man that wants these kids off his lawn, huh? Except it just so happens this tired old man could absolutely destroy you if he wanted to.
Some fun little jabs at canon in this one,
I shouldn't enjoy them as much as I do.10099767
I agree and I thought Grogar would take Discord to do something Discord would hate, like... wash the dishes for the next 5000 years without magic.
So the Bell really IS this world's version of the Infintu Gauntlet. I guess my comparison of Grogar to Thanos was closer than I thought it was.
I love this take on Grogar's character. Can't wait to see where this goes.
So Cozy is still an alicorn, is Tirek still in his second form or still in his first weak form?
I love how are these guys bickering with each other. That's a reliable source of amusement.
Great chapter!
Hey, Grogar, if you need someone to join your PB&J lunch, I’ll be available 😋
oh, he's definitely plotting something
but what
so grogar is spazz maticus good to know
I love the dynamics between them all. Begrudgingly friends with one having to calm their sh*t for them.
Oh God, Grogar is such a troll in this. I love it!
It was pretty satisfying seeing Discord getting chewed out by Grogar about his iffy plan on boosting Twilight's confidence.
While I like Discord, his plan really made me so furious at him. Especially with what his plan had done to 3 fav characters(Spike, Luna and Chrysalis) at certain points. I kept having thoughts of like Luna chewing him out due to his plan had cause her and Celestia's rule to end on pretty bad notes honestly. It hurts more with Luna since her track record looks worse compared to Celestia's due to she lost a 1000 years, already bothered with how Luna is retiring but Discord's plan pretty much causing her to have a pretty bad sendoff for me made it worse.
Interesting to see the trio recognize the flaw in their plans. I still wonder how the eventual re-meeting with Twilight and co. will go.
Literally every single generic villain falls in that category. I wish they followed that guideline.
Good job btw. Stay safe.
10163076
I bet Rainbow Dash would do something stupid to bug them to attack her.
10163230
Villains are just so... what’s the word? Boastful? Nah...
10163296
Narcissist ignoramuses that succumb to the villain formula.
“I will rule the world! MWAHAHAHA!!”
*Hero steps in to save the day and easily defeats the villain*
“Drat! I’ve been foiled by X Y & Z!” cliche
10163409
I really hope they become friends by the end of this<3
No wonder Grogar was basically the ruler of Equestria he could move TO THE SIDE
As much as I enjoyed this chapter, don’t you think a manticore biting off Cozy’s wing with actual blood added is a bit much for a rated E story?
Just a nitpick. Great chapter!
10265292
True, but I think this may be one of the few times I ever do a fight scene (that isn't for comedic effect). That and I wanted a way to actually show that the three wouldn't just one shot the manticores. I probably could've done it in another way, but I had been sitting on this thing for over two-three months? And I was drawing blanks. Plus it served as a segway for something to come. ;) But thanks for the critique anyway.
Edit: Added a forewarning, probably should have added that earlier but hey its there now.
Grogar takes his title seriously. The Father of Monsters yeah sure.
With three wards
Ouch, poor Cozy. I wonder how Grogar's gonna react.
Yeah ı know im annoying but im just a curious
When will you update
When do you update?
I feel nervous, I want to know what else is going on.
Nice work! I still wonder what Grogar’s real intentions are. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Nice to see a new chapter.
Hope my comment from months ago wasn't weird or anything.