Better late than never, I suppose; I only discovered FIM in December 2018, after all.
It's Hearts and Hooves Day, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake are able to spend the day alone together. Reflecting on an event for next Hearts and Hooves Day involving Princess Cadance, Mrs. Cake, reflecting on the longevity of alicorns, wonders how her husband will see her in the future, whether or not he would still find her desirable. His response is both assuring and encouraging.
The title is from the lyrics of an 1808 song called "Believe me, if all those endearing young charms".
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Beautifully written!
Using an underline is kinda... off putting. Next time consider using italics.
An ellipsis should only be three periods.
This entire paragraph is telling. Instead of telling us that Mrs. Cake said this, show us. Have her actually say it.
Also, since this is an intimate moment between two married characters who know each other, you should use their names, Carrot Cake and Cup Cake instead of "Mr. Cake and Mrs. Cake."
Still, this was incredibly sweet. I love the Cakes, and happy married couples in general, so a nice, tender moment between the two was a treat to read. Sand off the rough edges, and you have a very fine little tale on your hands.
Thanks for the advice, Jake. To be fair, I've only recently started fiction when I joined, so hopefully it'll get better.
Okay, your story's title got me thinking of this:
Those Endearing Young Charms
Featured in February for Rated 'E' for Everyone
I've seen that video; cracks me up every time. Also, that is the melody to the song. The story behind the song is what inspired me to write this. FYI, sorry for the late response.