The clop scenes felt a bit rushed. But overall the pacing of your story is maintaining consistency. Grammar wise you managed to dodge the mistakes I usually home in on like a blood-crazed doberman, improperly conjugated verbs and inappropriate apostrophes!
That said, if you want to improve your clop scenes, take it slow. I know I was nervous as hell when I wrote my first clop scene. If you rush through your writing the quality will decrease.
Also, a flower that turns anypony around it into slutty blondes? Regidar is going to love this...
For those not part of the wider porn community, the first fetish (besides Age Progression) here is called 'Bimboification' which involves turning the subject into an oversexed dumb blonde... though the exact specifications vary sometimes.
That said... I like where this is going. Please sir, can I have some more?
1819906 It's not really that original. I know I've read at least three others with a so-far similar start, but anyhoof....
Nipples on the chest? On the CHEST!? Yeah, no. This is where I stop. Mark it anthro, take out the nipples entirely, or please, for the love of Celestia, get the anatomy right.
1820645 Well, the rest of it was fine. I didn't see any hind leg standing or talk of fingers (unless it was in there and I didn't see it, of course), but inaccurate anatomy is just bad. Of course, it's your style, so what I say shouldn't really matter. It just means that I don't like it at all.
I better post a comment just in case the world ends... I love this story. keep up the good work. This is actually the first time I have ever seen some one use "Bimboisim" in a clopfic before, very ingenious.
My first foray into clop *gulp*. Don't restrain yourself with criticism or comments, I won't yell at you or anything. Promise.
me gusta
I only have one question...
cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/bloguploads/fap-meme-patrick-star.jpeg
To be honest this a good clop-fiction.Make more chapters soon.
Good work
I will not eat u
Here have the following:
a confused dashie
Six spikes
And a Big Mac
Send dangerous plant. Don't include instructions.
Celestia be trollin.
The clop scenes felt a bit rushed. But overall the pacing of your story is maintaining consistency. Grammar wise you managed to dodge the mistakes I usually home in on like a blood-crazed doberman, improperly conjugated verbs and inappropriate apostrophes!
That said, if you want to improve your clop scenes, take it slow. I know I was nervous as hell when I wrote my first clop scene. If you rush through your writing the quality will decrease.
Also, a flower that turns anypony around it into slutty blondes? Regidar is going to love this...
1817909leadgraffiti.com/users_images/portfolio/poster-hell-yes-800.jpg
1818357
Why, Near? What the bloody hell is your problem?
1818353 Thanks for the advice, also, be advised, the different phases of the moon may change the effect of the flower. Just throwing that out there.
For those not part of the wider porn community, the first fetish (besides Age Progression) here is called 'Bimboification' which involves turning the subject into an oversexed dumb blonde... though the exact specifications vary sometimes.
That said... I like where this is going. Please sir, can I have some more?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm(''); nice man ,nice('');
Hmmm. Pretty good I suppose. Just keep it going.
It's an original idea and a quite interesting one so yeah, keep it up
oh mighty god or goddess oh clop fic please write more i humbly beg you...... bows head
1819906 It's not really that original. I know I've read at least three others with a so-far similar start, but anyhoof....
Nipples on the chest? On the CHEST!? Yeah, no. This is where I stop. Mark it anthro, take out the nipples entirely, or please, for the love of Celestia, get the anatomy right.
1820545 Sorry if I offended you... If I must make it anthro, then I shall.
1820645 Well, the rest of it was fine. I didn't see any hind leg standing or talk of fingers (unless it was in there and I didn't see it, of course), but inaccurate anatomy is just bad. Of course, it's your style, so what I say shouldn't really matter. It just means that I don't like it at all.
1817909 where the hell did you get that picture
1820849 Google.
More please....! X
CLOP CLOP CLOP. *favorited*
I feel bad for liking this, bad as in the good bad way
I only wish for more Scootaloo and her erotic Rainbow Dash dreams
I better post a comment just in case the world ends...
I love this story. keep up the good work.
This is actually the first time I have ever seen some one use "Bimboisim" in a clopfic before, very ingenious.
Shit...looks like the world didn't end..Guess I owe crystal that full body message now.
Needs more.... Must. Have. MOAR!!!!!
would you please if it isnt too much trouble for you write more and include and
Apart from the blond Twilight, I like it a lot :)
More please!
Ok much better actually, A LOT better than I thought it was going to be. My hat goes off to you.
A lust spell? It's just what I've always wanted!