A Big Girl

by CelestianCrusader

Chapter 1

Aurora Star yawned, knocking aside her bright, pink covers. Pillars of golden sunlight illuminated her room. Her hardwood floor was covered in a lavish, bright pink rug to match her covers. Bookshelves were pushed against the walls. She stretched sat up. Her mane and fur were pink though her mane and tail were brilliant, rainbow strands and she was a little chubby, but not overweight. At the moment, she was clad in a pair of blue hoofsie pajamas that protected her hooves from the cold. Just a bit of baby fat clung to her bottom. Mama said it was for spanking.

She looked down, gasped. Speaking of spanking, a big wet spot was spreading over her sheets. Her lips trembled. When Mama saw that, she’d be taking a morning trip across her knee. Mama had told her very firmly that big girls did not wet their beds and she needed a sore bottom to learn to be a big girl.

Aurora laid her head on the pillow, sniffled. She knew she shouldn’t have had that extra milkshake, but it’d been two weeks since her last accident. She guessed she really wasn’t a big girl. She wondered what a big girl would do. Probably do like her brother and not try to hide her naughtiness. But she really didn’t want a spanking! Mama said it had to be done for her to learn to be a big girl. She chewed on that for a bit. What if she showed Mama she was a big girl? She hopped out of the bed, prancing. Her wings happily fluttered as she thought up a brilliant plan. If she washed the sheets by herself that’d prove she was a big girl and didn’t need to be spanked. With that thought in mind, she quickly yanked the sheets off with her mouth and almost fell when the sheets fell atop her. She launched into the air and, knocking the sheets off of herself, she grabbed them back up between her teeth and zoomed from the room. She stopped at the doorway and carefully slid it open, hoping it wouldn’t creak.

She tiptoed down the long hallway, enclosed by the wooden walls of her cottage, holding the soiled sheets in her mouth. Darting into the bathroom, nearly being bowled over when her hooves got tangled in the sheets, she closed the door behind her and flapped her wings to get the sheets off. As always, she was the first one awake, something she never understood as there were so many fun things to do when you were awake like reading or playing or reading again when Big Brother had to go study and couldn’t play with her anymore even though she understood as studying was fun too-

The door creaked open and she jumped into the air. Her big brother, a small yellow colt with a green mane and tail, stepped onto the white tiles of the bathroom floor, smiled at her. “Hey Aurora, what you…oh. Oh Sweetie.”

Aurora looked down, her ears folding back at that tone in her beloved big brother’s voice. The tone that said in no uncertain terms that he was not hiding this from Mama. That was alright, he didn’t have to. She placed the crumpled up sheets into the laundry basket, picked it up in her mouth, stopped to stand on her hind hooves, flapped her wings for balance and still stumbled backwards, Big Brother catching her just in time.

Her big brother, Gallant Star, set her down. “Doing laundry? Very responsible of you.” He tousled her mane. “Going to tell Mama?”

She nodded her head. “I’ll wash’em and show her that I’m a big girl.”

“I’m afraid she’ll still punish you.”

Her lips jutted in a pout. “I’ll show her I can be a big girl so she doesn’t have ta punish me.”

He booped her muzzle. “You weren’t being a big girl last night.”

Her eyes filled with tears and he gently nuzzled her, an affectionate gesture she returned as they pressed their muzzles together. “No, I wasn’t.”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to scold you. But I don’t think this will work. You’re welcome to try though.”

Aurora studiously ignored her brother, fluttering over to the laundry basket where her wet sheets were sprawled over several other pieces of laundry. Staring at the wet sheets, she wondered how she was going to carry all of it before the solution came to her and she began pulling all the other clothes out and tossing them on the floor.

Gallant shook his head, put a hoof on her shoulder. "No, Aurora. Just no. Do you think Mommy will be happy to see all the clothes scattered?"

Aurora bit her lip. She hadn't thought about that and once Gallant pointed it out she hurriedly started throwing the dirty clothes back in the basket, then yanked out her wet sheets, holding them in her mouth. Gallant picked up the other side, smiling at her. Together they picked up the sheets and he knocked open the door, the young filly scampering ahead of her elder brother. The sweet scents of pancakes sizzling on the stove filled the house and Aurora bounced far ahead of Gallant, tearing the sheets out of her mouth, then stumbling, her legs and heaves all getting caught up in the sheets. She fluttered her wings and zoomed into the air, fighting with the very wet and very icky sheets that were catching up her wings and forelegs. Finally, she threw the sheets away altogether, zooming ahead to gather them in her mouth and fluttering through the house.

She stopped when she got to the kitchen and saw her mommy at the stove, flipping the pancakes. Her yellow back was turned, her pink tail swishing in concentration, absorbed in cooking the pancakes, so Aurora zoomed past her.

"What are you doing there, Aurora?"

Aurora stopped, continuing to flutter in midair, the sheets hanging in her mouth. She opened her mouth and the sheets fell down in a pile. Her mommy, Glory Star, sighed. "Again, Aurora?"

Aurora blushed. "I was gonna wash them."

Glory flipped a pancake, turned to look up at her hovering daughter. "Why? Washing your sheets is Mommy's job."

Aurora shook her head, avoiding Glory's gaze. "So you wouldn't spank me."

Glory frowned. "You know better than to hide things from Mommy."

Aurora shook her head even faster, her rainbow strands getting in her face. "That wasn't why! Cause if I wash'em I thought you'd think I was bein' a big girl and so I wouldn't need a spankin'."

A smile tugged at Glory's lips. "Oh. Oh, I see. Do you think you can wash the sheets by yourself? You've seen Mommy do it."

Aurora nodded. "Yep!"

"Alright then. Wash them, hang them out to dry and come back inside for your spanking."

Aurora pouted. "But-"

"We'll talk about it."

Head hanging low, no longer flying as excitedly as she had before, Aurora picked the wet sheets up in her mouth and flapped to the door, pushing it open. Two wide-branched oak trees spread their leaf-shrouded arms into an embrace over a grassland on which Aurora's village had been built. Little yellow flowers unfurled their petals before the orange sun. Her rays blessed the land, streaming light through the oak's branches.

Aurora fetched the wooden basket, zipped over to the stone cistern and dipped the basket into the water, watching the ripples. Quickly, before it could slip from her grasp, she set the basket down and plunged the sheets into the water. After they soaked for a bit, she pulled up the clothes line, tying the line between the two trees. The birds sang and she felt her normal cheerfulness returning, despite her coming chastisement. Quickly, while hovering in the air, she threw the wet sheets over the line. Her ears drooped and she blushed. All the neighbors were going to see the yellow stain and the sheets would need a second scrubbing.

The birds were raising a chorus and she flew up, high into the branches, floating on a thermal to greet them with her own singing as she did every morning. The backdoor creaked open. "Aurora, come inside now." Glory's command was not overly stern, but the filly obeyed it at once, rocketing inside and landing on the wooden floor.

To her great surprise, her mother wrapped her up in an embrace, drawing her forward with her wings. Aurora returned the gesture, Glory nuzzling her. "I'm very proud of you, Aurora. Cleaning up your own messes is a big part of learning to be a big girl. Do you know what else is?"

Aurora nestled into the embrace. "What Mama?"

"Accepting punishment when you do something wrong." She drew away. Aurora looked down to the ground. Glory looked down at her. "Mama warned you not to drink that extra milkshake, didn't she?"

Aurora shuffled her hoof. "Yeah."

Glory drew her close with her wing. "You get a spanking when you wet your bed, don't you?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

Glory trotted over to a chair, sat down, then patted her lap. "Come here and take your spanking like a big girl would."

Aurora hesitated. Maybe she wasn't a big girl after all.

"I'm waiting, sweetie. Do you need me to take you across my lap?"

Aurora shook her head and trotted forward, fluttering up and across her mother's knee. Glory caressed her mane. "Hmm, you're going to get spanked, but I think I'll allow you an extra cookie at lunch for washing the sheets without being told and because I didn't need to take you across my lap."

Glory lowered her dropseat, exposing her bared, pink tushy which was soon to be much pinker.

The first smack fell down and Aurora jumped as Glory's hoof connected with her bottom with a firm clap. She squirmed and struggled as a second spank fell, this one leaving a red mark. The two spanks were light, but they still stung all the same. Aurora squirmed and her mommy held her with a foreleg while she struggled. Glory smacked her daughter's bottom for a third spank, quickly following it up with two more.

Aurora yelped as the spanks heated up her bottom, the sixth, seventh and eighth spanks stinging her quickly heating tushy. Glory didn't solely focus on one side of her daughter's bottom, but clapped her hoof on every side of the upturned, pink rump. Each spank was steady, a solid sting against her butt. Aurora cried and yelped, the smacks building a fire on her butt which was slowly turning red.

Glory kept the spanks coming with a steady pace, allowing her to catch a breath before landing another smack. Aurora's tushy rippled from and she kicked her legs, shouted and cried. Spanks peppered her bottom, each one adding heat to her bottom.

As Aurora struggled and cried, Glory decided it was time for the final round. Aiming her hoof at the filly's sit spots, she brought down her hoof with a series of slaps. Aurora's chubby cheeks jiggled from the spanking, the swats turning her behind bright red.

The last spank landed. Aurora sniffled and pitiably cried over her mama's lap even as Glory lifted her up and held her close to her warm, fuzzy chest, leaning down to preen her wings. "Do you know why I did that?"

Aurora sniffled. "Cause I wet my bed?"

Glory wiped away her tears. "Yes, but there's another reason." She rubbed the space between her wings. "It's because I want you to be a big girl...and I'm proud of you both for cleaning up your mess and for accepting your punishment like a big girl would do."

Aurora smiled and rested against her. Glory pulled up her dropseat. "We can get you a bath later. For now, let's eat some pancakes and Mommy will read you some flying moves after bathtime."

The filly happily flapped her wings at the mention of flying practice (and pancakes), jumping into the air. Glory stood as well, going to put out the plates for breakfast.

Author's Note:

Here are some questions for you, dear reader.

1. Did the dialogue flow well? Was it engaging?

2. Did you "feel" for the characters?

3. Were there any grammatical errors/syntax issues I should be aware of?

Comments

[Hawkpon7]

This story is ultimately cute. That’s the best way to put it, the mindset of a foal is always entertaining, especially a foal’s thought process when punishment is in the mix. They start to think they know how to handle the situations, when it’s ironic because the reader knows that it won’t work, but we enjoy seeing things come to light for the foal.

[inconspicuous_brony]

1. I would say the dialogue flowed pretty well. I wanted to keep reading and my attention was grabbed pretty early on. It's vital that a story of this length get the reader engaged as early as possible. If it takes too long to hook you in, then there might not be much story left once it happens. You have a knack for making good dialogue, so I was going in with the notion that this was to be expected, and it delivered as usual. I've always thought you were good at this, and I stand by that.

2. You also have a way of making your characters feel alive within the story and easy to connect to. This, however, feels like it's on a new level. I don't know what it is exactly, but my ability to feel for the characters is pretty strong here. I found Aurora wanting to be mature and clean up her own mess, not just trying to clean it so she wouldn't be found out, to be very cute, sweet, and oddly heartwarming in a way that is hard to sum up in words. Aurora dealt with the situation in a very different way from the norm for these types stories. That makes it very special and character interactions breathe uniqueness from that idea. I actually started to get a bit emotional when I found out that she was going to be spanked after all. I actually thought for a second that she might have gotten off the hook for her efforts. She tried so hard to make up for what she did, more than I imagining most children her age doing, and it still wasn't enough to spare her flank. I can only imagine how Glory must have felt to have to spank her.

3. In terms of grammatical and syntax errors, I think you're good for the most part. However, there is one error that I detected.

The tone that said in no certain terms that he was not hiding this from Mama.

I believe what you meant was "in no uncertain terms". Saying "in no certain terms" would imply the opposite of certainty. I'm pretty sure you didn't try to convey that. Other than that, I think you're all good as far as I can tell.

Overall, this was a very engaging read. I enjoyed it a good deal. I hope that you found some of what I had to say helpful.

[CelestianCrusader]

10040798

10040764
Thanks for the reviews.

[marinus18]

I'm not so fond that she was spanked after she had already washed her bedding. After all what more is there to be gained?
You can just say she's allowed to wet the bed if she washes her bedding during the morning. It gives the child the illusion of options since in reality the amount of effort needed to keep washing your bedding is not worth bedwetting.

[CelestianCrusader]

10105846
Yes, but her mother simply does not want her to wet the bed. For simple discipline, self-control. And also, laundry detergent is expensive. In rl, I'd never advocate for it, but in this story her bedwetting is a result of laziness/lack of discipline, qualities which should be discouraged so punishment is required.

[marinus18]

10106816
Well if the detergent is expensive why not make her pay for it after doing the math. It's more effective if you make them feel it's not outright forbidden but just extremely unattractive. After all if you make something forbidden you make it all the enticing.

It's why in our RP Wilmfe spanked Ember because she lied and tried to hide it. With bed-wetting you don't really need to punish them. After all if they don't clean their bedding the next night will be cold and uncomfortable.

[CelestianCrusader]

10107121
Well, yes, but this is pure fantasy. Ninety percent of fantasies make no sense in rl. This is downright tame compared to some of my really out there stuff.

(PM me later if you want to hear my really out there stuff. It's not fit for the public.)