This story is a sequel to My Little Pony Friendship is Magic What If?: Volume 9
The show may be over but the rewrites are far from done, after all there's a whole new season of episodes to work with! It's time once again for that series which seeks to answer the fateful question "What if that episode had been written differently?"
Prepare yourselves for the biggest installment since Volume Four folks, we've got a whopping fifteen episodes that will be rewritten in this volume! There are five each in groups of three: The first covers episodes from Seasons 1 and 2, as well as Season 4. The second features five episodes across Seasons 5-8. And the third and final one involves five episodes of Season 9. And there will even be four bonus chapters, though you'll have to read the releases to find out which ones are it.
Like is always the case, the exact same disclaimer applies, the episodes rewritten are based on my personal opinion so please respect it. Don't get offended if an episode you liked is on the list here, or an episode you didn't like isn't. I'll gladly respect your opinions if you respect mine.
And of course while it goes without saying at this point, I obviously mean no disrespect to Hasbro, the DHX writing and editing staff, or anyone who likes the episodes that appear here. The intent of this fic, like all of its predecessors, is for entertainment purposes only.
Go to my main page to see the first rewrite volume, and then check each subsequent sequel (or go in reverse chronological order with the linked prequels) to see if an episode you think should've been rewritten or done differently has already been covered. Trying to list every episode rewritten across every volume would take forever.
You're gonna do Sparkle Seven? That is gonna be interesting, especially with how the twist of Spike and Luna working together, and Twi and Shining calling Spike their brother goes against what you have set up in your universe where [spolier]Twilight adopted Spike.
Spoilered for thoes who A. Haven't seen Sparkle Seven, and B. Haven't read previous installments of this series.
Have to admit I never considered making Fall Weather Friends a Whole Episode Flashback, but I admit it DOES make really good sense. Plus, some good foreshadowing for episodes like "Lesson Zero".
Anyway, REALLY good job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future episode set-up in all the right places. Well, on to the next chapter.
And I'm guessing you're saving the Season 9 opener and series finale for Volume Eleven. That's cool. It, after all, gives you more time to think of ways to make it different from your "Stallion Six" spin.
Splendid job on the alterations to this episode. The exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked the nods to the comics as well as the alterations to the "broken Pinkie Promise" bit AND the rest of the Mane Six coming back for Rarity and Pinkie as well as the respectful goodbye between Applejack and Cherry.
I'll read the rest of this later. Right now, I need to get going to breakfast.
Once more, splendid job on this latest chapter. You made some really good points in the author's notes for the reason for the re-writes. The exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right places. I especially liked the foreshadowing to "Keep Calm and Flutter On", Rainbow's involvement in this (particularly Rainbow being the one that reminded Fluttershy she had gone too far) and the "word of mouth" concerning the merchants.
And, on to the next chapter.
Once more, this is some REALLY good work improving on an already great episode. You, of course, made excellent points in the author's notes (by the way, Li`l Cheese is MALE according to his creators and, I have to admit my headcanon has Li`l Cheese's full name being Cheese Caken Pie (both for the delicious pun [pardon the additional pun there] AND as a nod to Pinkie's second family) and, again, the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future episode set-up are well done in all the right places. I especially liked Cheese actually suggesting that he and Pinkie worked together at first before Pinkie admitted that the work for the party was already pretty much done as well as the reasoning that this was something Pinkie needed to work through on her own.
And, on to the next chapter.
EXCELLENT work, once again, on this latest chapter. As usual, you bring up VERY good points in the author's notes. I particularly liked how you expanded Twilight's role in a way that DOESN'T overshadow Rarity and Spike. Yeah, the explanation for the "puppet theater" problem makes A LOT more sense in this spin (especially with Rarity already acknowledging she had a problem with it before Spike even showed up). And Spike fessing up to the problem right away to Twilight also helps.
And, on to the next chapter.
Splendid work on reworking an already great episode to make it even better. Again, you made some really good points concerning the author's notes and the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I particularly liked the cameos by Flash (pretty much confirming the crush on Twilight) as well as Bon Bon/Sweetie Drops helping out Twilight and her friends against the Bugbear. And, yeah, the flow of the story DOES work better here.
On to the next chapter.
REALLY good work on this latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future episode set-up are all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked how Diamond and Silver helped out the Crusaders here in addition to keeping the "Crusaders trying new things as a group just for fun" stuff as a set of flashbacks (which, admittedly, makes more sense) as well as expanded on Tender Taps and Apple Bloom's mutual interaction.
And, on to the next chapter.
Again, this is some good work on the "episode". The points you make in the author's notes are quite valid and the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future "episode" set-up are splendidly done. I particularly liked how you included Diamond, Silver and Starlight in this (the last one especially because it makes for good season 8 foreshadowing) as well as Rumble's apology at the end.
On to the next chapter.
Superb work on this latest chapter/episode. You made some REALLY good points in the author's notes as always and the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future episode set-up are all well done in all the right places. I especially liked how you cut out the Cutie Map portion, used the opportunity to give Silverstream some character development and used the Crusaders' own family experience to allow them to be more helpful here.
At any rate DEFINITELY looking forward to the next "episode".
Well these have been quite a few interesting rewrites, I liked a few of them to be honest.
So you're gonna do Sparkle Seven & Dragon Dropped? Wonder how these 2 will go since they were my fave Spike eps in S9, heck that last season was the one he shined the most in not only his own episodes but playing off alongside many characters in most of them!
Possible idea for the "Sweet and Smoky" rewrite:
Singe: You know, Garble, there is good reason it is said that there are very few things more dangerous than an angry mother protecting her child. And if you say another bad syllable about Spike, or pull any more nasty stuff on him, I will personally give you a proper demonstration of just why that is.
Twilight (if the rewrite has her in the episode): Well said, Singe. But I would like to respectfully make an amendment to that.
Singe: Which is?
Twilight: Garble, if you say or do anything bad about or to Spike again, you will have to answer to both Singe AND me. And, while you might not that bright, even YOU should be able to do the kind of math that tells you "Mama Bear TIMES TWO" is a pretty bad equation for bullies.
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Really good question.
As for "Sparkle's Seven", the twist is going to need a different reason (since Spike is Twilight's adopted son in this universe and not her little brother and Spike has no siblings in the present day [though he MIGHT get one or two during the two decade time skip in the series finale depending on how close Twilight and Flash get], meaning that Spike might have a similar motivation, but not an identical one).
As for "Dragon Dropped", all I'm going to guess is that Spike IS going to firmly choose between Rarity or Gabby (and, even THAT could be wrong).
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Also gotta wonder the bullies reaction at seeing Spike's new look in Sweet & Smoky, especially since in this continuity he's about Smolder's height. 😉
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Yeah. That's a good point. Not to mention Spike's recently returned biological mother (an adult dragon named Singe introduced in an earlier volume of SB12's "What If?" series) would probably not take too kind to Garble and his friends bullying Spike to begin with.
Does this warrant the Anthology tag?
10063905 I never really thought about it, but maybe it does.
Really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future episode set-up in all the right places. And, again, the points you made in the author's notes WERE good ones. I especially liked the reasoning for this being a Pinkie and Fluttershy map mission as well as the addition of the telepathic communication (which makes sense concerning they ARE all pyrokinetic so they DO have some degree of psychic ability) as well as Pinkie's interactions with Autumn, the fact that Fluttershy's ability to communicate with animals was such a big help in finding enough foal's breath for everybody AND how they helped the other kirin learn to control their anger.
VERY certainly looking forward to the next chapter.
Pinkie starts to develop feelings for the wacky stallion that is Cheese Sandwich.
Something funny in the Author's note, you underlined Slice of Life, rather than cross it out
10064916 Thank you for catching that. It's now been fixed.
10065035
Sorry for not saying anything about the re-write itself, don't know what else to say, other thank amazing as usual
Surprised that you swap AJ for Pinkie in this rewrite, both her & Flutters had a good dynamic interacting with Autumn Blaze. Glad that you kept the song in though, with some minor changes.
10065523 Well, I feel like Pinkie Pie would be far more upfront in tackling the issue and much more keen to take Autumn Blaze's side. Though truth be told the episode as it was originally didn't feel like much of a team up with how much Autumn Blaze kept stealing the show.
Why not make each set of episodes in a separate season? Like, volume one could have all the episodes you want changed in the first season of the show, then volume two could have all the episodes from the second season, and so forth?
10067348 Because the original volume had episodes from the first three seasons.
Was wondering how you were gonna tackle this one since the dynamic between Twilight & Spike was different in your stories than the show itself. At least Zephyr came out a bit likable here, other than that I'm glad that Spike came on top!💖
Here's hoping the sibling vibe between Spike & Smolder doesn't get strained when you get to Sweet & Smoky. The interactions those 2 had in the episodes featuring them were so enjoyable. 😉
Can we give that retirement nonsense a rest already? -_-
10068599 The original draft for the final season had them retiring because harmony was changing, that made way more sense than them retiring because of peace.
10068605
As long as that is used. But for the love of Luna: Don't retire Luna at all. She only came back from being in the moon a few years ago after all. :/
10068608 My headcanon is that she wouldn't be able to rule without Celestia by her side, it just wouldn't be the same. But she would stay on at least for the first few months after Twilight's coronation to ease the transition.
10068610
But still though: Her retiring is uncalled for because she hasn't ruled as long as Celestia has given the whole Nightmare Moon Incident.
Seriously, Twilight really should’ve had Starlight help because it was the one thing Shining wasn’t expecting.
Darn good job on the modifications to this chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future episode set-up were all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked the nods to the alterations from earlier in your "What If?" series (though I would think that they would have thought to have Tartarus checked out JUST IN case Tirek and/or Chrysalis escaped [which they did] so, at the very least, they would be caught less off guard in the series finale). And, yeah, Spike, you might get some siblings of your own in a couple of decades depending on how close Twilight and Flash get.
Definitely looking forward to the remaining four stories in this volume (particularly looking forward to seeing Garble get a DOUBLE-DOSE of "Mama Bear" in the "Sweet and Smoky" rewrite).
Have Silverstream and her family thought about making a house that accommodates both Seapony and Hippogriffs? Like, an entrance that leads to the ocean inside the house.
This is one reason why I’d want Spike to be the main hero in the finale and be the one to defeat the ultimate villain of this series.
10070336 You mean, like that famous underwater hotel in Key Largo, Florida?
Excellent job on this latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future episode set-up are all wonderfully done in all the right places. I particularly liked how well the episode works as a flashback to Twilight's fillyhood days told as a lesson to Ocellus.
As for the "Volume Twelve" stuff, I understand, but if you decide to make an "Equestria Girls Edition" and/or a "COMICS Edition", you could kind of make those UNOFFICIAL Volume Twelve and Volume Thirteen.
But, anyway, very certainly looking forward to the next chapter/episode (particularly seeing Garble getting ripped into (at least verbally) by both Twilight AND Singe.
A very nice twist making it a flashback chapter to teach one of the Young Six a good friendship lesson, not bad.
I personally like the original episode cause of the interactions between Just Twilight & Spike during the whole affair, they were on point.
Looking forward to see what you have in store for Sweet & Smoky, should be very interesting since Spike isn't a runt anymore, at least in this continuity
Well one thing’s for sure, Garble may be able to redeem himself in the future. Plus, Grogar won’t be getting any more members for his army anytime soon. Looking forward to the next chapters of this series. And I hope there’s gonna be some awesome rewrites for volume 12!
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Well, those are really good points. But IF there IS a Volume Twelve, it will most likely be an "Equestria Girls Edition". And, in THAT case, we would get a good glimpse of how much better the series could be if somebody like SPB12 were writing it.
Have to say, you did an excellent job on this re-write. The exchanges, characterizations, nods to other rewrites (both past AND future), general wrap-up and future "episode" set-up are quite well done in all the right places. I particularly liked Garble's reflections on the series of events that lead to him CONSIDERING (but thankfully deciding NOT TO) join Grogar's Legion as well as Smolder basically using Singe to discourage Garble bully Spike and Spike finding out about the Legion (though NOT the members yet, even if, by this point, they would HAVE TO know Tirek and Chrysalis BOTH escaped from Tartarus if they had guards checking up on Tartarus even semi-regularly). And, yeah, showing Garble still honoring his banishment even after helping hatch the eggs was at least a reasonable bit of character development.
Definitely looking forward to the final two rewrites in this volume.
Plus, a couple of ideas for Volume Eleven:
Hearts and Hooves Day: NO love potion/poison. Rather, it is only passingly mentioned that they tried to check out a book on love potions and got denied. Thus, the Crusaders have to stick to more comparatively honest methods of match making using stuff both Mac AND Cheerilee like that would allow them to get to know each other on a deeper level (but still WELL within an Everyone rating)
Hard To Say Anything: None of the characters from Ponyville appear in this one. Rather it focuses on Party Favor trying to work up the nerve to admit his feelings for Sugar Belle while competing with Feather Bangs.
Ail-Corn: replaces "the Break-Up Breakdown" on the episodes list with all kinds of stuff added to expand it to the length of a standard episode (such as explaining how Twilight got sick to begin with, showing Zecora working on the medicine and showing the rest of the Mane Six helping Spike take care of baby Twilight until the side-effect to Zecora's medicine wears off).
"Growing Up Is Hard To Do": A whole episode flashback told by the Crusaders to the Cake Twins while the former three are foal-sitting them (the Cake Twins [fully talking and out of diapers by this point] are in a bit too much of a hurry to grow up, Pinkie is unavoidably detained on "Mane Six business", the Crusaders fill in for her and tell the Cake Twins a story about how they, too, were in too much of a hurry to grow up a few years back).
Of course, if you already have other/better ideas, I will completely understand.
Really took this one off in a different direction with Garble here & the Legion of Doom, I like it! Glad that even though he still doesn't like Spike he at least grew up a bit by not joining Grogar, for Smolder's sake!
Also like another reviewer pointed out, Garble may be able to redeem himself later in this continuity. Just gonna have to wait & see.
Thank you for the mention! I hope that I’ll be able to help inspire you some more in the future.
REALLY good job on this chapter. The exchanges, characterizations, general wrap-up and future "episode" set-up are quite well done in all the right places. I quite agree that this episode works MUCH better both as a Young Six episode AND as a late-Season 8 episode. I especially liked the pieces of "What Lies Beneath" worked into this. And, yeah, making the trivia contest a school project to encourage teamwork was an inspired notion.
Definitely looking forward to the final rewrite in this Volume AND the entirety of Volume Eleven either later this year or early next year.
You used the trivia game here very well with the Young Six, plus having Spike as the host instead of Granny was a bonus, not bad!
You may have written yourself into a corner with the whole Cozy Glow/Chrysalis twist though, if you do Ending of the End guess we'll see who replaces her.
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Yeah, we will.
It's most likely going to be either
1. The Storm King
2. The Pony of Shadows (with the author's choice of a new host body)
3. The Dazzlings (with new magic gems)
or 4. A combination of all three of the above (to make it look more like a true Legion).
Creator, Take Your Time
Everyone is Waiting
If We, The Fans are pressuring You
We are very sorry
I am sure your stories will be massive and amazing. Even fixing up the Equestrian Girls Mistakes
Also The Oscars Are Coming on Tomorrow Night.
At 8 PM Eastern Time
You want to watch the Oscars because I am watching it.
Everyone Has Standards
Garble Is Maybe Doing It Out Of Love For His Little Sister because He doesn’t want to ruin her future.
Garble will realize the Hatred for someone is meaningless and realizes it is his own fault and the bad influence by his evil parents that makes him this way and becomes and honorable member of The Courts For The Dragons
Suggestion: For The Band Of Misfits for Grogar
Lord Tirek
Queen Chrysalis
King Sombra(If You Can Bring Him back since the Rest Of Us Don’t have Closure, also if King Sombra is voiced by Mark Hamill aka Fire Lord Ozai/Skips/The Joker That would be great)
The Diamond Dogs
Svengallop
Suri Polarme
Gladmane
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy(Fluttery Shy)’s Bullies
And All Of The Villains Trapped In Greece Hell aka Tartarus to make it awesome. Also If You Reveal ________ is brainwashed and turned into The Winter Soldier Like Villain like What MCU Captain America vs The Winter Soldier it would be great.
Plus All Of The Villains That Want Revenge or Is Bored and Wants To Rule Equestria
But Here Is The Thing Grogar has one thing all villains don’t, knowledge, like Brainiac, he wants to rule THE WORLD in order to completely win with help of his evil allies.