The Washouts have been a wide sensation across Equestria as Lightning decided to do a tour all across its lands. Things were going smoothly until her crew were caught in an accident during practice, locking them in the hospital for the rest of the tour. Lightning is left to find replacements for their tour and her luck was answered when two creatures offered their help as Washouts, but recruiting them added new complications she failed to consider.
An entry for The Discovery – A Young Six Writing Contest
**Disclaimer** The stunts performed in this story may (if not definitely) appear far too unrealistic if you think about it, so I believe adding realism in those regards may muddle your immersion in the story.
Cover art by ohemo.
Chapters (7)
Oh yes, I'm sure Trixie sets herself on fire doing her tricks all the time.
Clearly, you've never met Trixie, Spits--this is pretty much her whole deal, too.
Why are the ratings disabled?
10079022
It is? It looks on to me.
10079046
Weird... you'd think it would have popped up by now if so.
Oh dear. This promises to be the start of something crazy. XD
I didn't expect that character to turn up. Well, this will make things even more interesting XD
Read the paperwork before you sign it, Lightning! That's how they get you!
Not bad. They got the hang of this fairly quickly, but then again, there *is* supervision involved here (thank goodness for Spitfire, actually being the voice of reason XD).
One thing I would advise? Some tweaking of the punctuation on some of the sentences, especially ones that are questions or exclamations. If Smolder asks "Why can't I do the stunt?" it should have the question mark there instead of a comma. And similarly, as Lightning's retort is also a question, same thing applies there too.
Again, I'd advise different punctuation here. Starlight's supposed to be stressed, yet the punctuation doesn't suggest any of that intensity as compared to something like "Is he crazy!?" and "He's going to catch on fire!"
That should be *carrying*
Still, this was fun seeing them do the show.
You need to put an extra space between the two paragraphs there. Still funny though. XD
Again, would suggest a question mark "didn't have confidence in yourself". And also, I think the second sentence needs an "of" in there. Try, "That kind of sounds hard to believe."
needs some spacing. "What can I say, I have" etc.
Still, I enjoyed this chapter well enough. I liked seeing Lightning rushing to save Gallus, and while I think it was a bit abrupt to break up the prior Washouts like that, I'm still interested for what comes next.
That last line made me laugh. XD
Well dang, I didn't expect *that* for the very end! Gallus, you're really taking some steps there! XD
This was a charming and fun little story. Maybe could have benefited from expanding on the training and performing scenes, and definitely could benefit from some further grammar edits, but still, I liked it all the same. Have an upvote!
Okay that was an interesting chapter
want to read more
yup, READ
Oh so smolder and gallus going to be a washout huh ok cool let's hope rainbow dash doesn't get to upset for lighting for in danger the kids witch is bad
Lightning let out a sigh at the students' excitement and then towards the mare she never thought she'd be seeing again. Perhaps she bargained for too much when she agreed to this arrangement. "Should've read the stupid paper," she grumbled.
Yeah you should have done that in the 1st place lightning always read the fine print And That's kind of your fault for not following the rules
Wow Lightning You're starting to warm up to the new cadets even though you trying to act all cool and whatever
Oh boy I just hope Gallus Doesn't Get hurt over this I know hes trying to impress her but I really hope he doesn't get hurt
So lightning becoming a teacher now huh that's pretty cool that's a big step for her I think that's awesome
That would have been an awesome redemption story of lightning in the show to see her work at the school after knowing about the safety of everybody's And how much she cares about her team mates
Over all I think this was a pretty good redemption story of lightning dust having Her to understand about the safety of her teammates and friends And becoming a teacher of the Friendship of school so good job on it