B_25
Joined 18th Apr, 2013 ·
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I can't tell what the size difference even is.
I'll look at you as strangely as I please!
Your descriptions are amazing
Unfortunately, this is unreadable for me. Half the time I have no idea what to imagine through your description.
On the bright side, I found a perfect representation of this story:
Proofreading Clopfics Sucks
10025843
You always a prick or only to people you like?
10025846
Nah, I just criticize what I don't like on stories I read.
10026069
You call that criticism? You gave a vague remark without citing an example nor providing a reason for it being a particular case. It's the easiest job in the world to say something is purple and unreadable. The real trick is in showing where it's the case, why it's a problem and, if you're kind, a solution for it.
You're not anyone clever. Linking a story intensely purple prose—where this one is over-written for the sake of self-gratfaction—bears nothing in being legit criticism. All this proves is you being a prick-job with no substance behind it.
Well, I for one, should like to read more. Sally forth, dear author. Get stronger. Be better. Write harder. BRING UPON THE TINY INCEST!!
10022525
I very much agree! They light ones imagination with visions delightful and warm.
Well, this has been a wild ride. I think I'll take a lesson away from this.
and I thought my red tag fiction was erotic
It's a very visual story. Not as many descriptions as to what the characters are thinking or feeling are present as simply showing things from the viewpoint of the sisters. It's a good departure from 'talking things out' as it were...you still have some of what they are thinking and feeling, but that is to further highlight what is happening and how they are playing out. Describing AJ's tiny situation, and just how massive and imposing her 'little' sister is now. Feel like AJ is much, MUCH smaller than she was originally with Poison Joke too. Should be fun to see how this plays out!
The story is way too hard to follow properly. I get so lost from all the descriptions that I lose what's actually happening. So much so that it doesn't align so well with what i personally like to see. I think the intention was close, but with all the attempts to add so many details the story portion gets lost in the clutter.