The best worst idea ever
Rainbow Dash had already done one really dumb thing this morning, and she really hoped going to Pinkie for advice about it wasn’t the second.
Pinkie brought Rainbow out a lemonade, and herself a frothy pink milkshake. Serious sugar for serious thinking.
“Hold on,” Pinkie put the drinks down and slid into the booth across from Rainbow, “so you asked out Rarity, and Twilight?”
“Yeah.”
“At the same time.”
“Yes.”
“‘Cause you thought it was funny?”
“It was.”
“And they said yes?”
“That’s when it stopped being funny.” Rainbow admitted.
“Hrrm,” Pinkie hrm’d. “What’d you ask them?”
“I asked them if they were free at seven. They’re already dating each other. I thought they’d say no.”
“And?”
“They were free at seven.”
“Oh no.”
“Yeah!”
“That’s still pretty funny, but what’s the punchline? Is the punchline ‘ha ha it’d be so funny if I meant it’ or ‘ha ha it’s so funny I asked but for real’,” and Pinkie winked extra hard. “Are you actually going to be there at seven?”
“I think I meant it?” Rainbow thought about it. “I mean, they didn’t say no, and I didn’t say no, so I think I’m not joking anymore.”
“It sounds kind of fun.” Pinkie sucked down enough of her milkshake she had room to blow bubbles in it. “Unless you want me to talk you out of it?”
Rainbow shrugged, trying to look like she cared less than she did. “What’s the worst that could happen, right?”
“You mess up two friendships and maybe ruin a relationship between two of your best friends?” Pinkie offered.
Rainbow gulped. “That wouldn’t happen, right?”
Pinkie made a tilting gesture with a hoof. “If it doesn’t though. I mean, Rarity’s great if you’re into that. And Twilight...” Pinkie trailed off. “I’m just saying, Rarity’s lucky I filled up on my Sandwich.”
Rainbow’s eyebrows shot up. “Weird way to put it, but okay.” She fiddled with the paper straw in her lemonade, which had just the right amount of too much sugar in it. “So you’re saying I should do it?”
“I’m saying if you do do it, then don’t mess it up. Or like, everyone is going to be so mad at you. So, like, make sure you mean it. I think.”
Rainbow tried to drink out of her straw, but it just crumpled in her mouth. She flicked it out of the drink and knocked it back, feeling the fizz burn on the way down. “I really like Twilight. I think. Like, she got me into books, and we’ve been kind of...” Rainbow flushed, sinking lower to the table. “Well, you know.”
Pinkie nodded. “I do! And nobody else!” she mimed zipped lips, and Rainbow breathed.
“If Quibble ever found out, he’d eat me alive, you know?” She laughed. “I think I really like Twilight.”
“Hrrm.” Pinkie hrrmed deeper. “What about Rarity?”
“I don’t know. I think she’s really attractive?”
“Duh.” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Alright. I think I figured out what you got to do, but I need a second to put it in words you’ll understand."
Pinkie slurped her milkshake loudly, just so Dash couldn’t think fast enough to interrupt her until she finished thinking. “Game plan. Right now, you’re dating Rarity first, and Twilight’s the end zone play. It’s an all or nothing sort of deal, and if you play your advantage too soon, Rarity’s going to take her ball and go home. You’re one team, not two teams sharing a player.”
They locked eyes, tapped their glasses to the table, and slammed back the last of their drinks.
Pinkie checked the clock. “Good timing. My break’s almost over.”
“Wait. How about some little cupcakes then. Extra icing. In a gift box?”
Pinkie snorted. “You’re going to try to do the dumb thing well, huh?”
“Pinkie, it’s me,” Rajnbow puffed out her chest, “I am the best at being dumb. Especially when it could blow up in my face!”
“I’ll make them extra good, then,” Pinkie went behind the counter and solemnly equipped her apron, “You’re going to need all the help you can get.”
-----
Rainbow knocked on the castle door and hoped for the best.
It was Rarity that answered. She looked very annoyed by this. “Good heavens, you actually showed up. I had hoped you were going to play this off as a joke.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck nervously, “I thought I was gonna do that too. Guess this is a thing now.”
Twilight called out from deeper within the castle. “Is it Rainbow?”
Rarity held eye contact while she turned her head slightly to call back. “I’m afraid so.”
“Really?!”
“It seems like she means it. She brought cupcakes.” There was a tense pause. “Have you thought of a reason to say no yet?”
“This seems like an incredibly bad idea!”
This time Rainbow shouted back. “That’s not a good enough reason!”
“It’s a very good reason!”
“But you didn’t actually say no!” Rainbow jabbed back.
Twilight’s groan echoed throughout the castle. Rarity winced.
“So, lowkey, you’re both into this idea too, huh?” Rainbow wiggled her eyebrows and delivered the most powerful fingerguns her wings were capable of firing off.
“Apparently.” Rarity said. There wasn’t much enthusiasm in it, but Rainbow could work with it. “Do you have a plan?”
“Course I don’t. I suck at plans. I was just thinking we grab some take out, maybe a bottle of wine - I’ll let you pick, I don’t really know wine stuff - and hang out on a hill with a clear view of the sky?” Rainbow nodded, satisfied with herself. “It’s not really a plan, but it’s kind of plan-shaped.”
“That sounds... pleasant. I would actually very much enjoy that.” Rarity said with absolute disgust. “Twilight!”
“I’m coming!”
“Twilight, she made a very good case for herself.”
“Really?!”
“How would you feel about stargazing with some takeout and a bottle of moscato?”
Rainbow’s ear pricked up. Rarity thought of the wine for her - now she was complicit. Rarity held a long and level amount of eye contact to let her know she was thinking the same thing, and she understood the implication just as well.
“Wow. That sounds perfect.” Twilight came to the front door, a brush still tangled in her mane, and mascara done. Rainbow scored another point in her head - Twilight had at least been prepared to be prepared for this. “Did Rainbow suggest that?”
“She did.”
Twilight stared. “So, I guess you’re not joking huh.”
“That’s up to you two,” Rainbow tried to play it cool, but at this point her heart was beating a million miles a minute and she could, like, crawl into a small hole in the ground and hide it in forever if this went badly. But it hadn’t gone badly yet, so. Still cool. “If you tell me I’m joking, we’ll pretend that’s all this was, forget the whole thing.”
Twilight considered that. “Pretend it’s a joke?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow said breezily, ready to bolt, “if you want.”
Twilight nudged Rarity. “She’s serious, and she actually thought about this.”
“I know.” Rarity bit the inside of her cheek. “I don’t think I was ready for this.”
“She’s terrified.”
“I noticed.”
“No I’m not.” Rainbow lied. “I’m cool. We’re cool. This is cool.”
“Rarity, she’s super cute right now.” Twilight nudged Rarity again. “I really want to say yes?”
“I was thinking that too. This might be a problem.”
“This is a really bad idea, isn’t it?”
“There is no way this doesn’t end in catastrophe.”
“We’re going to say yes, though, aren’t we?”
Rarity turned back to Rainbow Dash. “Go get three bottles of moscato, and a bucket of ice. We’ll be ready by the time you get back. I am not going on a date looking like this though.” Rarity gestured at her usual gorgeous self.
“It’s a date,” Rainbow agreed, and immediately regretted it. Twilight giggled, which made Rainbow feel good but also bad at the same time? Weird. Rarity offered a reassuring smile, and closed the door.
There was a pause, and Rarity opened the door again. “Actually, leave the cupcakes.”
Rainbow handed them over and the door closed again.
She just kind of stared at the closed door for a few seconds until it kind of connected that, yeah, she was really doing this. They were really doing this. Funny joke over.
Rainbow flew off in search of a place that sold wine, and she made sure to fly slow.
Maybe some cologne on the way back. Did she have time to wear a proper dress? No. Styling her hair, tops.
They were just going out to some hill, anyway. It’d be fine.
-----
Rainbow knocked on the door again. The ice cubes in the bucket were already starting to melt in the humid summer night air. She hoped Rarity wouldn’t mind. She figured Twilight wouldn’t notice, either way.
Rarity opened it again, this time. She was wearing a black dress that made Rainbow’s tongue feel too big for her mouth, like her heart couldn’t fit in her chest, and like there was a hole where her stomach should be. All that probably wasn’t helped by the heels, and it definitely wasn’t helped by the red lipstick.
Rarity glanced at the melting ice bucket Rainbow was holding. “You took a while, I see.”
“Yeah, well,” Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck, “I thought I’d give you both time to get ready.”
“Well,” Rarity did a pose, “I hope you find your patience was rewarded.”
Rainbow was a deer staring at an oncoming train.
Twilight pushed the door wider and stepped out. She just looked... nice. Like normal, but with more effort put into it. “Rarity, you’re being cruel.”
“Moi? Whatever do you mean?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I hope you don’t mind I didn’t put the same effort in. I didn’t want it to just feel like we were ganging up on you.”
“You still look really nice, though.” Rainbow said, and meant it.
Twilight blinked. “Huh.”
“What?”
“I got all fluttery when you said that. Like a proper first date.” She turned to Rarity. “Which is weird, right?”
“Twilight, darling, sweetheart. This is all very weird, and I think we’d all do better to not draw attention to it. But I must say-” and here she turned back to Rainbow with a pout, “you haven’t actually said how I look.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Rarity, she’s drooling.”
“Yes. Well.” Rarity huffed her fringe away from her eyes. “I’d still like to hear her say it.”
“Rarity, you look hot. Like, really, really hot.”
“Why, thank you, darling.” Rarity smiled. She looked to Twilight. “That’s the best I’m going to get out of her, isn’ it?”
“In her defense, you are really hot right now.”
“I am in the company of poets, it would seem.”
“I could write you a poem about how hot right now,” Rainbow managed to keep a straight face and an even voice, “if you wanted.”
Twilight giggled. Rarity winced. “I guess it’s on me for complaining.”
“If it helps, it’s not because I don’t want to,” Rainbow braced herself for how dumb she was about to feel for saying it out loud, “but when you look like this, I can’t think clearly. It’s like you shut down the best parts of my brain, because they’re too busy thinking about you.”
Yep, yep, yep. The big stupid. Rainbow tried to leave her body behind and float away. But Rarity didn’t groan, or roll her eyes at all.
Rarity considered it. “Yes, that does help a lot. I see now what Twilight meant about the butterflies.”
“It’s not fair, is it?”
“Not at all.”
Rainbow wondered how she could possibly be this good. Nobody more awesome had ever lived.
Twilight kissed Rarity on the cheek. “It’s a good thing I didn’t dress up, like you wanted, or I don’t think she’d have been able to carry a conversation.”
“Talking’s not really my strong suit anyway. I was mostly just thinking I could just silently flex for you.”
Rarity’s head snapped to Twilight, a sharply raised eyebrow before Twilight could say anything. Twilight managed to keep her expression neutral, even if she couldn’t stop the blush from happening. “That would probably work on me, yes.”
Rarity rolled her eyes and sighed, and shared a private smile with Rainbow Dash. “I told you, she has a thing for jocks.”
“So you’re saying it’d do nothing for you if I poured you a glass of this fine wine, wearing an open dinner jacket with no shirt underneath?” She got the same reaction out of Rarity she had Twilight. Score. “Don’t lie. I’m absolutely crushing it so far.”
“Come on,” Twilight tugged Rainbow’s shoulder, “let’s head towards the hill before you start doing victory laps.”
“I think I have a jacket just your size...” Rarity hummed to herself.
“I bet you do,” Rainbow grinned, “you have my measurements.”
“I shall pretend I don’t know what you’re accusing me of,” Rarity skipped a few steps until she was walking at Rainbow’s other side, “I could have another customer with your physique, you know.”
“Really?”
“I don’t. But I could! And that’s what’s important.”
Walking three abreast was getting too wide for the narrowing paths. Twilight and Rarity pressed closer to Rainbow, and she didn’t say anything. Twilight smiled dryly. “I don’t think there’s anybody in Equestria quite like Rainbow.”
Rainbow heard the words Twilight wasn’t saying. “For better or for worse, right?”
“I wasn’t going to say it!”
“You were thinking it pretty loud.”
“If there was another one of you to hang out with, we’d never get to spend any time with you,” Twilight protested. “That’s all I meant.”
Rarity hummed thoughtfully at that. “I’m sure another Twilight would be just as bad. You’d start collaborating on things. I’d have twice as many of you and still only hear half as much from you.”
Twilight and Rainbow Dash locked eyes. It was absolutely time to gang up on Rarity, they agreed.
“Rainbow, what do you think Rarity would do first?”
“Look at the back of her own head.” Rainbow answered without hesitation. “Then get in a fight over matching outfits.”
“We would have to co-ordinate.” Rarity’s eyes were distant, far away. “Inevitably we’d get into a fight over whose outfit would have to compliment whose, I’m afraid. There’d be nothing for it. I can’t play second fiddle to anyone, not even myself.”
“I don’t know,” Twilight looked over the top of Rainbow’s head, “I think you can be pretty good at sharing.”
It didn’t quite go all the way over the top of Rainbow’s head what she was saying there. Rainbow waited for Rarity to stop biting her bottom lip long enough to explain.
“Twilight doesn’t really understand ‘jealousy’ that well, whereas it’s something I have a problem with. Sometimes.” Rarity slowed down when she looked at Rainbow, and Rainbow slowed down with her. “It’s something I have to work very hard on.”
“But she does!” Twilight was sweet and sugary over the top of her again, “she tries very hard, and it makes me very happy.”
“Got it,” Rainbow leaned close to Rarity, “so it’s me and Twilight sharing you, not you and me sharing Twilight.”
Rarity considered that. “I thought it was Twilight and I sharing you. Which I was content with.”
“Nah. Because then it’s like, you’re having to give something up to Twilight. This way, it’s like both of us are having to fight over you instead. And we can put on a big show about it.”
“You better believe I’m going to hog my share of Rarity,” Twilight stuck her tongue out.
“That all makes a strange amount of sense. In a rather Rainbow Dash way.” Rarity’s eyebrows pulled low and she looked to Twilight for reassurance. Twilight was beaming over Rainbow’s side. “Yes. That works a lot better for me.”
Then Rarity was smiling again, her steps were less tense. The edge in her voice relaxed like an unclenching muscle.
Twilight pulled her head down and bumped Rainbow’s side, giving her a grateful smile.
Rainbow flexed her wings, and pulled the other two tight to her sides. “It’s a package deal though, right? Both, or neither.”
“Thank you,” Twilight mouthed to Rainbow.
Rarity leaned her head against Rainbow’s neck for a moment as they walked. “I know it’s silly. But I was worried... I don’t know what I was worried about. But it was worrying me.”
“You were worried Twilight would fall for my raw charisma and run off with me after the first date, just because she likes jocks?”
Twilight’s face was burning right to the tips of her ears. “Can you please stop teasing me about that. I have a type, okay!”
“Maybe.” Rarity admitted.
“Yeah, but you’re like, everybody’s type.” Rainbow pointed out. “If they have a pulse and two braincells to rub together.”
“Blueblood? Trenderhoof?” Rarity arched an eyebrow. Twilight snorted.
“Rarity, she clearly said ‘and two braincells to rub together’. You can’t ignore that bit.”
“Touche.”
Rainbow snorted. “Why is your taste in guys so awful?”
“I might remind you that I’m on a date with you right now, before you insinuate anything more about my preferences.”
“See, that’s just it,” Rainbow ducked so Twilight could wave over the top of her, “your taste in girls is flawless. Me and Twilight? Perfect picks. Great calls.”
“Thank you,” Twilight bowed her head respectfully.
Rarity considered that. “I suppose I can’t argue with that.”
“What about you, Rainbow?”
“What about me?”
Rarity poked her head forward to talk under Rainbow’s head. “We know Twilight’s type. We know mine is apparently terrible in men, but superlative in women. What’s yours. And you can’t just say ‘I’m attracted to people who are attracted to me’. That’s cheating.”
Rainbow pouted. “But I liked that answer!”
Twilight nodded, being careful not to poke Rainbow’s jaw with her horn. “I agree with Rarity. It’s unfair.”
“Ah. I like ponies who are way smarter than me. I guess?” She paused. “I don’t know. Not just book smart though. I still want to give Sunburst a wedgie. I mean, like, leadery-smart I guess? Like, somebody who always knows exactly what to do, or can figure it out.”
“Really?” Twilight asked, eyes sparkling.
“Rainbow, I don’t know what you’ve unleashed upon yourself by saying that, but I’ll be here if you need me.”
“I have been called a nerd my whole life, and it has never paid off before!” Twilight danced as they walked, a bouncy little run-in-place, “This is so exciting!”
“Can you think of why?”
Rainbow considered it. “I don’t know. I guess it’s like... I mess up a lot cause I do stuff without thinking. If I’m around ponies who can think faster than I do things, I feel safer. I guess. Like, I feel like they can pull me back.” She rubbed a leg. “And you two are the smartest ponies I know.”
Rarity coughed politely when Twilight started drooling. Twilight shook the cobwebs from her head. Rainbow didn’t get it.
“What?”
“Rainbow, you know when you joked earlier about ‘who would top who’? I believe you just put that train of thought in Twilight’s head.”
Rainbow and Rarity both turned at once to see Twilight staring very pointedly at her hooves, mouth shut tight, burning red to the tips of her ears.
“Twilight-”
“Don’t say a word.”
Whatever Rarity was about to say, Rainbow wouldn’t find out.
“This is the hill, by the way.” Rainbow pointed to the picnic rug she’d set up earlier. “We’re here.”
“Saved by the dell!”
Rarity and Rainbow shared a pained look as Twilight ran on ahead.
Rarity stopped Rainbow as Twilight ran on ahead. “I’m about to start pouring glasses of wine, and I don’t plan on stopping. Do you have any objections?”
“This sounds like a bad idea.”
“Darling, all of this sounds like a bad idea. We all know that. Perhaps it might be best if we quiet that little voice in our heads just enough that we can make a compelling case otherwise?”
Dash looked at the ice bucket. “I can get two more bottles in, like, a minute, if you get started on this one?”
Rarity smiled. “One each should be plenty. I think any more than that might be-”
“A bad idea?” Rainbow finished for her with a grin.
“Precisely.” Rarity paused. “Just so you know, I’m having fun sober. Present of mind, sound in judgement. This isn’t about talking myself into anything - it’s about not talking myself out of it unfairly. I think we all owe ourselves the best chance we have at this.”
“You’re really planning on going to town, huh?”
“Even moderation is best appreciated in moderation.”
“Nice.”
-----
The ice hadn’t all melted, but it sloshed a bit.
The wine hadn’t all been drunk, but they were all a bit sloshed.
That was when Twilight and Rarity started making out.
Rainbow held her bottle to her lips and took a long sip. Rarity and Twilight detached from each other.
“Sorry about that,” Twilight wiped Rarity’s lipstick from her... everywhere. “Girlfriend tax.”
“Girlfriend tax?”
“Yes,” Rarity finished for her, deadly serious. “We are now all drunk, and have terrible impulse control. And you have been very funny all evening. We needed to do that first, in case anything silly happens.”
Rainbow paused. “Wait, you think I’m funny?”
“We have been drinking. But yes.” Twilight tipped her glass and almost - but not quite - spilled a bit. “It’s been a wonderful night.”
“We should do something.” Rarity insisted, “One of those flimsy pretext games teenagers play to make out with each other. Like truth or dare, or twenty questions.”
“Uh, Rarity?” Rainbow put her bottle down for a moment, “you’re not supposed to say the ‘flimsy pretext’ part out loud. That’s what makes it a flimsy pretext.”
“Pish-posh,” Rarity waved it off, “we’re not silly, drunken teenagers. We are silly, drunken adults. And that means we can be honest about our ulterior motives. Anything else would be an insult to your intelligence.”
“You haven’t had any problems insulting my intelligence before now.” Rainbow laughed.
“Yes, when I was doing so directly. That’s banter, which is entirely different. The true measure of how close you are to someone, I feel, is knowing exactly how far you can go.” Rarity draped herself around Twilight like a sweater, “You’ve kept up very well, though. You’re quick witted.”
“Thanks,” Rainbow smirked, “I get what you mean though. You and Applejack are really close, right?”
“Absolutely vicious with each other. Celestia knows I’d help her bury a body. First pick to be my bride’s maid.”
They both looked at Twilight. “Uh, Pinkie would be mine.”
Rainbow pretended to look hurt. “What? I’m left out of this?”
“I was thinking ideals,” Twilight admitted, “so you’d be warming the bed for me in the honeymoon suite.”
“Twilight!” Rarity laughed, taking Twilight’s wine glass away from her. Twilight leaned forward for every little bit it got further away from her, making grabbing gestures. “I think you’ve had enough to drink for one night.”
“Aww. But we were about to do the thinly veiled pretext games!” Twilight pouted, “I want wine for that.”
“... fine. But no refills.”
“Yay!” Twilight took her glass back and cradled it to her chest.
Rainbow gulped, and turned to Rarity. “She’s very, uh, forward, isn’t she?”
“She’s very honest about what she wants.” Rarity agreed, and gave Twilight a sideways look, “Utterly clueless when it comes to figuring out what she wants, but stars above, will she be clear when she’s figured it out.”
“You’re both saying that like it’s weird.” Twilight blinked, swirling her glass.
“It takes some getting used to,” Rarity let her head fall against Twilight shoulder, stroking her hair, “it can be intimidating when you’re not used to being as honest as you are.”
“Huh.” Twilight pushed out her bottom lip, “Sorry?”
Rainbow stared at Twilight. “So, like, if I just asked you if you wanted to make out...?”
Twilight snorted. “Please. I wanted that since I was sober.”
Rainbow turned to Rarity. “Wow, you weren’t kidding. That’s kinda spooky.”
“Isn’t it just?” Rarity shook her head sadly. “She wouldn’t even think of the flimsy pretext games.” Then, whispering in Twilight’s ear - something that made her shiver - “I think Rainbow would be more comfortable with the pretext.”
“Aww. I guess...”
Rainbow wanted to want to just crash headlong into this without thinking. But Rarity was giving them both the option to chicken out for now and build up to it. And Rainbow could tell, Rarity was just as scared as she was.
And Twilight hadn’t quite picked up on that.
“I say truth or dare,” Rarity declared with authority. “It has the flimsiest pretext.”
“Dibs going first!” Twilight’s hoof shot straight up, getting teacher’s attention. Rainbow and Rarity shared a Look.
“I mean,” Rainbow shrugged, “if she’s volunteering?”
“You should ask, then. That seems more fair to you.”
“I don’t know,” Rainbow grinned, “you could help me out by asking questions you already know have fun answers.”
“Hrrm.” Rarity tapped her chin. “I’ll keep that in mind. But for now?”
“Right! Twilight!” Rainbow pointed, “Truth or dare?”
“This is so exciting!” Twilight clapped her hooves, “I haven’t played this since I was in highschool. Truth.”
“Truth?”
“If you start with dares, you get boring dares. You need to build tension first.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “This is just basic party game theory.”
“Right. Uh.” Rainbow looked to Rarity for advice, but Rarity was just watching her with interest. She was more curious about what Rainbow wanted to know than what Twilight was going to say. Less than helpful. “Ah. Had you thought about this before I asked you out?”
“Nope!” Twilight beamed, “I didn’t think you were allowed to do that. I had to go look it up when we got back to the library. So, thanks for teaching me something today, Rainbow!”
“Wow.” Rainbow looked back to Rarity. “You really were not kidding about that whole ‘doesn’t know what she wants’ thing huh?”
“Darling, you are only scratching the surface.” Rarity offered her wine glass, and Rainbow clinked it.
“My turn!” Twilight clapped. “I pick Rarity.”
“Hrm. I’d have thought you’d pick Rainbow.”
“I think she deserves a break after being put on the spot like that,” Twilight lay back on the blanket a bit, looking up at the stars. “Besides. I haven’t forgotten about you.”
“Well, thank you for thinking of us. I shall take truth.”
“You ever think about anybody else while you were with me?” Twilight asked, and there was no accusation in her voice. Just excitement and curiosity. “I mean, before... this.”
Rarity flinched. “Ah. Yes, I suppose I have. Mostly wondering how it would be different.” Rarity immediately turned to Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow tried to make sure she didn’t look judgey. “I haven’t been with anyone else, you see. So I’m allowed to wonder.”
“I don’t think about other ponies,” Twilight admitted, lying on her back, “but I know what they’re like. So I don’t have to be curious. You’re the best, though, so there’s no point.”
“Well.” Rarity straightened up, pulling her dress down. “Thank you. Rainbow?”
“Why break the streak we got going?” Rainbow grinned, “Truth.”
“Did you originally ask us out as a joke.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow laughed, “but I mean, I was interested, you know. I like both of you. It’s just... I thought you’d think of a reason to say no.”
“We were free at 7!” Twilight stressed without sitting up, “You picked a perfect time!”
“It is rather lovely out, tonight.” Rarity agreed. “As far as jokes taken too far, this has been the most enjoyable. Rainbow?”
“I’ll go you this time. So we break it up again.”
“Dare.”
“oooOOooo!” Twilight sat back up again, sipping the last of her wine.
“Okay! I dare you to lose the dress... slowly.”
Rarity blushed fiercely. “I mean, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before, but it just feels so...”
Twilight was clapping her hooves in excitement though. Rarity sighed, stood up, did a twirl. There was that terror again, but there was anticipation too. Rainbow Dash knew Rarity well enough to know the one thing to give her to make her comfortable.
The full attention of an audience.
Rarity did a hypnotic dance, sliding the strings down her shoulders like she was holding a long note on a violin, and then sliding the dress the rest of the way off using only the movements of her hips. Twilight had stopped laughing minutes ago.
“Well? How was it?”
Rainbow cleared her throat. “Wow.”
“Wow.” Twilight agreed. “Rainbow picked good.”
“I’m glad. Twilight, I’m going to pick Rainbow again because I want her to suffer for that.”
“Please!” Twilight flipped onto her stomach and rested her chin on a hoof.
“Rainbow?”
“Dare.” It was only fair.
Rarity pointed at the wine bucket. “I dare you to upend that on your head. I think you’re getting too into the swing of this for a first date.”
There was a pause, and Twilight rolled on her back laughing so hard. Before she could think about it, Rainbow grabbed the bucket, squeezed her eyes shut tight, and poured the ice water over her head.
Rarity and Twilight squealed, because part of ‘not thinking about it’ had meant she’d stayed on the picnic rug to do it. They both scrambled onto the grass, laughing.
Rainbow shivered. The ice had mostly melted, but that just meant she’d gotten soaked. She was lucky it was such a warm night. She could have used the rug to dry off, but... she shook like a wet dog, spraying Twilight and Rarity as they shout-laughed at her to stop.
“Twilight! You could have shielded us!”
“Whoops!” Twilight’s horn glowed, and Rainbow’s hair fuzzed up. She felt like she’d been run through a tumble dryer, but in a good way. Rarity looked pleased. “Is that better?”
“Much.” Rarity held up her soggy dress - which had soaked the picnic blanket like a rag - and cast a similar spell while Twilight dried the rug. Rainbow, not being capable of helping, got to sit on her corner and watch. “Why didn’t you think about that for a second?” Rarity scolded.
“Because if I was going to dump a bucket of ice on my head, thinking was the worst think I could do!”
Twilight smiled up at the stars, “I always used to say I’d jump in the pool, and every time Shining or Cadance would get bored and push me in. I bet nobody needed to push Rainbow in.”
“Hey yeah! I was always doing that with Fluttershy, though.”
“Brute!” Rarity laughed.
“She asked!”
“Getting wet is scary,” Twilight agreed, “but being wet is fun.”
Rarity and Rainbow locked eyes and silently agreed that neither of them would point out the double entendre - Twilight’s innocent happiness was too good to ruin. The impromptu cold shower had helped.
“Good dare,” Rainbow said, “So, Twilight-”
“Truth!”
“Really?” Rarity asked. “We both did dares.”
“I know. You had to go and release all the tension that was getting built up.” Twilight blew a raspberry at the both of them, “you tried to go too big too soon!”
“... of course she’s thought about this.” Rainbow sighed.
“Twilight, I love you very dearly, but please stop trying to optimise our flimsy pretext for making out.”
Twilight folded her arms across her chest. “Well, if you both had played it better, you wouldn’t have had to make Rainbow take a cold shower.”
Rarity made a ‘hurry up’ gesture. Rainbow cleared her throat.
“Twilight! Ah... this is harder than I thought.” Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. “I was really expecting a dare here.”
“I can help, if you’d like?” Rarity offered.
“Go ahead.”
“Why jocks?”
Twilight made a face. “Really?”
Rainbow nodded. “Good one. Pretend I asked it.”
“Athletes were always really nice to me. It was the other nerds I was competing against, and uh, I used to be really competitive. I don’t think you can tell so much these days,” Rarity and Rainbow, both having seen Twilight at trivia night, said nothing, “but that didn’t help.” Twilight paused to think about it a little harder, “I know I don’t like bullies. But while a lot of bullies are jocks, not all jocks are bullies? It’s not just the muscles though.”
Rainbow got it immediately. “So you like nerds, but you like nerds more when they’re not trying to be smarter than you.”
Twilight’s eyebrows shot up. “Is that it? Are jocks just... nerds with muscles?”
“Sports nerds...” Rarity muttered, “it makes sense when you put it like that, though I can’t say I’d have come to it on my own.”
“Oh my gosh,” Twilight’s grin was evil, vicious, charming, “Rainbow Dash is the biggest nerd!”
Rarity blinked. “What? Is she?”
“Have you heard how she talks about the Wonderbolts?”
“Rarity!” Rainbow hissed, “The question was meant to be embarrassing for Twilight!”
“We have not been given the answer we expected, but perhaps we have been granted the answer we needed.” Rarity swirled her wine glass, and looked into it a moment. “I think I am quite tipsy.”
Twilight laughed. “Not drunk?”
Rarity shook her head. “I think I’m four glasses short of drunk. Best to keep it that way.”
“Sports nerd,” Twilight grinned at Rainbow.
“Nerd-nerd.” Rainbow shot back.
“Yeah!” Twilight clapped her hooves, “Takes one to know one!”
Rarity snorted. “She has you there.”
“I can’t be a nerd. Nerds aren’t cool. I’m cool!”
“I think you’re awesome. Definitely radical. I don’t think you’re cool.” Twilight countered. “I think you’re a nerd. Big ol’ nerd!”
“Rarity?” Rainbow pleaded.
“I have to say,” Rarity started, and Rainbow’s heart immediately sank, “Radical hasn’t been cool for a generation.”
“See? Rarity’s cool.” Twilight thought about it. “We’re the dorks. You and me, dork buddies.”
Rainbow squirmed from the weight of the Truth crushing heavily on her. “I don’t like where this is going.”
“Hey, it’s my turn to ask, right?” Twilight was smiling too wide now. “I pick Rainbow again. Don’t pick truth.”
“Truth!” Rainbow answered immediately, no hesitation.
“Ha! Reverse psychology! Eat it!” Twilight leapt up, shouting, “Rainbow Dash! Do you write Daring Do fanfiction!”
“Twilight!” Rainbow shouted, “You promised not to tell anyone!”
“I didn’t!” Twilight was vibrating with excitement. “You just did though!”
Rarity’s ears were twitching, and she sat up at attention. “Rainbow writes?”
“Yeah!” Twilight bobbed her head, and Rainbow was worried she was about to start bouncing around, “And it’s really good!”
“Really?”
“You don’t need to sound so surprised.” Rainbow groaned, face buried in her hooves.
“She’s way better than me, actually.” Twilight thought about it. “Well, she wasn’t when I started editing for her, but now... she could get published, if you asked me. I keep telling her, but I don’t think she believes me.”
It was conversation she and Twilight had had a few times before now. Rainbow had just thought Twilight was just being nice.
She hadn’t expected this, which meant she wasn’t prepared for it.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to come across as harshly as I did. I just meant... It’s quite unexpected, isn’t it?”
Rainbow groaned and tried to pull her fringe down over her face. Which meant that Twilight kept talking for her.
“She’s very sincere.” Twilight stressed, “And she has really snappy prose. She has a really good intuitive sense for storytelling, and she - and I quote - ‘just doesn’t write the boring bits’.”
“Yes.” Rarity said dryly. “I might believe that.”
“I think that’s why she’s so shy about it. Because she thinks it’s the wrong way to be good at something.” Twilight thought. “When now we know the answer.”
Rarity asked, since Rainbow forgot how to talk. “The answer being...?”
“She’s a nerd!” Twilight declared, dancing behind Rainbow and scooping her up from behind in a big, squeezing hug. “She’s my big, secret nerd! That’s how!”
With Twilight squeezing her from behind like this - gosh she was warm - Rainbow was forced to actually open her eyes and look. And with Twilight behind her, all she had to look at was Rarity.
Something had changed. It was a small change from constant pressure, but it was a small change in the same way that tectonic plates slipping a few centimeters will still level cities.
Rarity had gone from being okay with this, to being interested. Rainbow had kept a distance from Twilight until now - now Rarity had gone from comfortable to curious.
She was leaning forward, hiding her mouth behind her empty wine glass.
Rainbow swallowed, and steeled every reserve of courage she had. She was setting fire to her “let’s just be friends” option here, which meant thinking about this was the worst thing she could do. Like dumping ice on your head.
Like running with a flimsy pretext.
“Hey, Twilight? You pick dare this time, right?”
“Sure!”
“Dare you to make out with me.”
Rarity pressed her glass to her lips and watched.
Twilight, still squeezing Rainbow from behind, dipped her like a dancer, wrapping a wing underneath her for support. She closed her eyes, tilted her head, and leaned in.
Rainbow kissed her back.
Twilight opened her mouth first, just a little. Testing, teasing. It quickly became a pattern - Twilight acted, Rainbow reacted. Twilight was confident, eager. Like she’d been thinking about this for a while now, and she’d been enjoying thinking about it.
Rainbow, who had deliberately not been thinking about this, was busy riding the adrenaline wave that comes when you’re terrified but enjoying yourself too much to stop.
Concentrating on Twilight made it too hard to think about anything else - she went limp in Twilight’s hold, as Twilight lowered her down onto the picnic rug, then shifted so she was lying over Rainbow, pressing down.
When she drew back, it was Rainbow that was panting. Her eyes felt fogged over. Twilight’s smile was warm, soft, amused.
“You are,” Rainbow panted, “way too good at that.”
“You need practice,” Twilight teased.
“She’s not fair at all, is she?” Rarity had gotten closer while Rainbow hadn’t been paying attention - how could she? Twilight kissed her lovingly on the cheek, just a peck. It seemed to be as much of a statement as the one she’d just given Rainbow.
Then Rarity leaned down and kissed Rainbow too. She rested a hoof on Rainbow’s chest, just above her heart. Rarity was far more gentle and restrained than Twilight had been, but her kiss was sincere and grateful. Relaxed.
“Thank you for being so good about this,” Rarity whispered as she broke contact, “and for being so patient with me.”
“Don’t sweat it,” Rainbow grinned.
Rarity snorted. “I think Twilight’s right about you not being as cool as you might think.”
“Dang it.”
Twilight looked down at them both. “Games over. I think we all won. Rainbow, walk us home?”
Rainbow looked up. It was hard to think past the hormones and the lack of oxygen reaching her brain. “Ah, sure. I can do that. Isn’t it a bit sudden?”
“Yes,” Rarity blinked, looking at Twilight, “Isn’t it a bit sudden?”
Twilight held eye contact with Rarity, and Rarity’s surprised turned to a resolute expression.
“You’re right. It’ll just keep getting later, otherwise.”
Twilight’s horn flared, and the picnic and wine disappeared neatly. Rainbow opened her wings, and the other two pressed into her side tighter than before.
Twilight seemed to want to hurry, and Rarity to linger. Rainbow set her own pace. There wasn’t much talking on the way back, but Rainbow couldn’t ignore the way Twilight would nip at her ear and giggle every once in a while, or the particular way that Rarity was rubbing against her.
Rainbow couldn’t think of anything safe to say. The longer they went on, the harder she had to fight to stop herself from making any inappropriate movements with the wings wrapped around her dates. Especially since Rarity had a way of making everything seem inappropriate.
About halfway there, Rarity gave Rainbow a sideways look, and pulled the tip of her wing against her hips. Twilight looked over and giggled, and just pulled Rainbow’s grip tight over her cutie mark, wiggling her butt as she did.
Rainbow gulped, and tried to stay cool. Which mostly meant knowing anything she would say right now would kill... whatever mood this was.
The two broke off from her at the door to the castle. Twilight opened the door and skipped ahead. Rarity held the door open.
“Well? Aren’t you coming in?”
“You were right, it’s getting late,” Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. “If I stay out any longer, I'd have to stay the night.”
“Yes,” Rarity kept holding the door open, “I rather expect you might.”
It finally clicked what had seemed so sudden to Rarity, what Twilight had suggested. “I mean. Are you okay with that?”
Rarity stood back a bit, making the open doorway just that little bit more open. “I will admit, your hesitation reassures me a lot. This isn’t something I want to be confident about.” Rarity bit her lip, “But, I confess, it is something I want.”
Rainbow nodded, because words were a bit hard right now, and took a step forward.
The door closed behind her.
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This was fantastic, thank you so much for writing it!! I'm sure mono will love it
Oh my gosh this is one of the cutest things I've ever read
So much Rainbow! So much Rarity! So much Twilight! They all played off each other wonderfully.
Fire and kindling, meet accelerant. This took off at 100mph on the Snappy Character Interactions Highway and didn't stop for a single moment. Rarity and Twilight's wit were fully on display for all to see, and Rainbow managed to keep up like a pro. Always good to see her more nerdy side come out, especially with those two.
As an aside, now I really want to see your Twilight playing off against Mono's Rarity. I think it'd be interesting.
And so Best Alicorn, Best Unicorn, and Best Pegasus have formed a cuddle puddle. Now we only need Pinkie Pie in the mix to complete some kind of horrifyingly amazing lesbian horse Voltron.
Horrifyingly Amazing Lesbian Horse Voltron dot tumblr dot com
Awww. Cute poly fluff on christmas eve. This was adorable.
Happy Hearth's Warming, VShuffler42
10003062
Thank you for providing the name of my next band. The music will be Very Gay.
Oh my. Well, I've said before you know how to write gripping tension haven't I. And I love Rainbow Dash's nerd side being excavated by Twilight for Rarity to inspect like the gem it is, and it not being found wanting.
That metaphor was a bit stretched. Ah well. This is why you're the good writer. Thank you for that.
Did I like this? Lemmie think about that. No wait, I'd better not think about that. Yes, I liked it.
Slipped on that "i" key for Rainbow.
This fic was so snappy I could use it instead of a metronome. I can’t believe how spot on the dialogue was - you made it seem so effortless, and I know from experience it’s not! The evening felt so natural, so smooth, that I forgot I was reading, and thought I was just hanging out on a hill with some very cute friends.
This may have been a present for Mono, but it’s a gift for all of us. Thank you so much for sharing!
I'm a sucker for Twidash. Also for Raridash. I absolutely loved every second if this and am very sad there isn't more.
Goodness, Rarity is one incredibly open person.
Within the space of one night she's letting someone (even a dearly loved friend of years whom you'd trust your life to) in on the most precious thing she has, and isn't dragging her heels much seeing that said precious person is very, very much more 'for it' than she is, especially since Rainbow is her type and Rarity isn't.
I feel like there'd normally be much more in the way of hesitation, resistance, and flat-out feeling like she was becoming less important in her own relationship in this sort of situation - even feeling betrayed by the two of them. But she turned out to handle it amazingly well. Some of that ability seems to stem from her own self-confidence and confidence in the strength of her bond with Twilight.
In such situations it's normal to feel that even if you aren't being forgotten and unloved, that the others are more compatible and more interested in each other than you, and that it's "only a matter of time". Or to not view your own part in the relationship as important as your partner's and the prospective new partner, thus feeling like you've got no staying power in the relationship beyond being the only other one in it aside from your original partner - something that vanishes the moment the other starts showing interest in someone else who clearly desires them.
Very impressive Rarity written here, despite that the story didn't follow her problems, could still easily feel vestiges of her hesitation and views.
This was absolutely fantastic and I wont hear a word otherwise.
The dialogue was ngl on point and the banter was gold.
Plus this is just a really good ship and you're a very good author so it all comes together beautifully.
Very nice. I love how Twi acts in this.
So does that mean they'll wear those animal onesies from the cover art at the end?
This whole exchange made me think that Rainbow was inner monologuing. I had to re-read like 3 times to understand what was going on. The use of italics is not a good way to show that someone (Twilight) is speaking from afar.
This was so much better then it had any right to be, and I mean that in all the best ways. Going from "seriously, we're doing this?" With all resigned sarcasm, to "seriously, we're doing" eye waggle "this!" And doing it convincingly
Also, I love seeing the moment when nontraditional nerds realized they are nerds.
Thanks for this! I do wish it had gone further, but this was nice and sweet.
Ah yes, I believe they call this
"Material"
media1.tenor.com/images/127a60a9df1a3bac616b58d9f13684cc/tenor.gif?itemid=12415521
Can there be more of this?
Please?
And there was so much snuggling
I like this. It is sweet, sincere, and adorable.
My cheeks hurt. This was funny and adorable.
This is really good. No, really really good. If it was just about the characters popping off the page or the interplay flowing gorgeously — making all of them feel realistic and everything read smoothly — then this would be a solid story.
But on top of that, this is taking that awkward stumbling feeling-out period at the start of a polyamorous relationship, which takes a light touch to write about, and making everyone in it feel worth pursuing and worth rooting for. That's a hell of a balancing act.
Very well done.
This was really good!!!
The banter was on point, the internal thoughts were all in character, and succinct.
It had the right amount of tension - and awkward tension, and none of the characters were stereotypes or simple stand-ins for base ideas.
This was written lingerie - what you don't see is as much tantalizing as what you do.
This is just marvelous! It's what I aspire to be able to write and I don't think I've got it in me (or at least not now).
I might also be a little bit tipsy. I've been slowly exploring cream liquors. And Melatonin. Good night.
This is incredibly high quality awkwardness, and equally quality adorableness. I don't know what else one could ask for. Thank you for writing it.
All the banter and dialogue was so quick and witty, it honestly reminded me very much of The Importance of Being Earnest, It was a lovely bit of fluff that's definitely earned an upvote, though I don't know if it's quite good enough for my Fave Fluff shelf. Oh well, why not?
>‘just doesn’t write the boring bits’
That is seriously one of Elmore Leonard's ten rules of good writing.
*Humming to myself* "I kissed a girl and I liked it!"
Well written, perfect blend of awkward and adorkable =D
10004667
It's actually a conversation that was had mostly between Aragon and Pearple Prose - we were talking about who the best writer of the M6 would be, and with dawning horror, we probably realized Dash was probably low key one of the best authors.
Lack of patience, a short attention span in general but an ability to commit to working hard in specific, a chronic need for attention and a natural talent for knowing what parts of a story to embellish would kind of make her a brilliant storyteller.
Almost half an hour later, I finally remembered the line I wanted to make a specific comment about.
Are you two really sure she isn't already aware of it?
Imma say in one word what everyone took twenty to articulate.
Moar.
This was so snappy that you could use it for applause at a beat poetry reading. Brilliant and entertaining from start to finish.
This was the most ADORABLE thing I've EVER READ! I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH!
10004703
I could see that. For genre writing Rainbow's unique vocabulary would not be a limitation. In fact, it would likely prevent her from straying too far into prose, which is an unceasing temptation to authors with an unabridged dictionary in their heads. Come to think of it, poor Twilight would likely be unable to finish writing anything fictional in part for that very reason. Pinkie Pie would produce some mad stream of consciousness in half an hour. Fluttershy would self-critique everything that she writes to oblivion, never allowing a word of it to be seen by anyone else. Applejack is probably more musician than author. Rarity the professional artist would have difficulty with crafting a story, since her favored mediums have never required narratives.
God, this is making me want to revisit "Naked Singularity."
10004703
Isn't that extreme?
(It's Rainbow Dash, Yutah. Rainbow. Dash)
Actually, maybe not so much...
What a fitting variation! It rhymes with bell!
*tries to hold in laughter*
Eep! This was a fun, amusing, very nice read!!!
It's a simple story with a simple plot written in simple prose, and yet it offers some of the best... well, I can't single anything out: it's the best everything in a short romance one shot I've read in a long time. Absolutely amazing, this was.
This was really cute, and even as someone who doesn't particularly care for romance with Rainbow, I enjoyed it a lot. And yes, the dialogue was really snappy.
Wasn't even aware how bad I needed the romance itch scratched until this hit the spot. Phenomenal character work top to bottom.
I second (fourth?) the call for MOAR! This was completely amazing and I want to see more of them... Please?
Pinkie don't... .-.
I can totally see this working
This was amazing!
What I enjoy about this one is that I’m totally on the side that thinks a 3-way relationship is a really bad idea, but like the characters in the story I find the actual date is just too charming to deny. Great job!
I strive to be like Twilight. Oh, wait, I kind of am lol
This was amazing and very adorable...
I LOVE THAT SO MUCH!!!
thank god rainbow wasint injured in the game of love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlBcpZmkrtw&list=PLYmiWpmQzpNP_DqulLWR1MYnUs941DBkn
Hmm, curious. A set of three, of whose constituent pairings I only really like one (not that I hate the other two, I'm just not that into them, so to speak), but that works strangely well in aggregate. Perhaps it's a case of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts, perhaps simply a result of good writing. Or, more likely, both - nice one.
That aside, I especially like the discussion of their various "types", as it hits on something that a lot of fic writers (among others, but this isn't the place to get into that) tend to forget - that love is, directly at least, less about who someone is and more about what they want; what they find sexually or romantically attractive; what they like in a partner. That's what's important and that's what you focused on, so kudos especially for that.