Splinter is your average Timber Wolf, he hunts, he eats, he sleeps and then he eats some more. Rinse, lather and repeat. However, after being permanently handicapped whilst hunting a SERIOUSLY annoying rabbit, things quickly go south for the poor mutt. Now it seems as if he's going to have to adapt to being some hillbilly foal's pet.
Not if he has anything to say about it.
Join splinter as he valiantly makes a stand against hick ponies, aggrovating foals and an absolute hellspawn of a bunny!
Chapters (13)
Hmmm... you got an interesting idea here. But capitalization is key my friend. Makes you look like you got some form of education.
the foal and the timber wolf
The Foal and the Timber Wolf
follow the white rabbit.
Follow the White Rabbit.
i
I
You get the idea.
Hmm. A bit shaky on grammar, frequent errors in capitalization, and a few lapses in spelling.
However. The story itself I like. I want to see more. Work on your grammar and stuff, and you might really have something here. I'll withhold a like for now, but I expect to see more.
I wounder what Big Mac will say about the thing.
I second this. This looks to be quite a cool story idea, but you need to proofread your stories and capitalise everything that needs to be capitalised.
Otherwise it'll turn people off from the entire story. It almost did me.
Also, don't forget to capitalise the Title and Summary as well!
-Phil
a few errors here and there, but a good story, lets track it and see where it goes.
All of the above. Please get someone to preread for you. Reread your own story several times yourself, try reading it out loud. You will catch a lot of stuff that way. Use spell check but don't trust it too far, it doesn’t care if it's the right word, just is it spelled right. Good premise, will watch to see what happens
1105459 GAH! Capitalisation, my one true enemy! i'll get it fixed, scout's honour.
1105479 I apologise for the dodgy grammar and what not, I can't proof-read for the life of me, but don't worry, i'm working on it.
1105617 you're totally right, i have a terrible habbit of just throwing stuff out there without checking it first, i'll get it fixed, or die horribly trying
1105679 No worries, I can't read my own work either. I tend to skim automatically, and that defeats the purpose of proofreading, doesn't it?
But there are plenty of folks on this site who'll proofread for you if you ask, so don't worry.
1105485 He will turn into a jet and start a war with Alaska...
1105702 Wonderful :)
1105706
Sweeeeet...
Sounds good, I'm gonna add to read later
okay, it's been proofread, anybody sees any errors, don't hesitate to tell me
You got it proofread!
I commented earlier, but it seems to have disappeared into comment limbo. Like you never knew I said before, I'm noticing a pattern here: You write something, it has problems, but I keep reading because you come up with good ideas and create solid stories.
My last comment included words like "errors" and "capitalization", but you got it cleaned up for the most part
There are a few problems here. The Timber Wolf is a little too intelligent. I'm all for him being able to think and all, but how would a wolf know what a brewskie is? Or magma? Just small stuff like that. Try to include Timber Wolf culture, which doesn't exist, so have fun making up an entire civilization!
1107121 i've added the intelligence for both comedic effect and to make the Timber Wolf more relatable, and the culture? it's going to be awesome! If there's anything you want from Timber Wolf culture be sure t tell me (i was thinking various gods, obsession with hunting etc)
1108753 The gods part was a nice add, and I think having multiple gods is great for a hunting species like that.
1110050 cool, i'll make sure to throw it in there next chapter or so.
1107060 thanks, it's nice to know my stories are being enjoyed :)
Came across this during one of my bouts of random browsing - it's pretty good.
Nice solid story, relatable characters, good story setup, this gets a thumbs up from me and I'll be tracking to see where it goes!
1115715 thanks, i'll do my best not to dissapoint!
It would seem the consensus is that you write solid stories. By the power vested in me, I dub thee Solid Squid
1120213 LIQUID!
Holy crap this is a good chapter keep it up
1123292 thankyou, i appreciate the support
Damn, Applejack and Minnesota can be metal. You have obtained all of my yes.
1121215
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1133899 sorry, my mgs fanboy got the better of me
This is fun. I'm really liking the wofl's narrative tone and Applebloom suddenly appearing just adds even more to it. I love the idea of them knowing woods too thats a riot
1137864 thanks, glad you like it
Freaken good story please continue
*grins* This ought ta be fun. bit confused at the beginning though. Caramel's a guy and not in the Apple family. Do you mean AJ?
"Ah think ah'll call you Splinter, y'know, cuz yer made of wood and all, heh heh"
Silly story, timber wolves are not martially-proficient mutated rat-beings.
1153404
My thoughts exactly
1152396 I just imagined he was a nice guy willing to help. I could have really used anyone for the role
1153404 no, but they do train humanoid turtles in the ways of the warrior, I thought the show made that pretty clear.
1154734 Caramel hooked himself up to the reins and pulled her big brother off to Ponyville hospital. That was my issue. *Grins* that whole paragraph is confusing.
1159232 ohhh, I see, no prob, i'll fix that up. thanks for pointing it out though
1161250 *Laughs* no problem, sorry I wasn't more specific.
Is cute and funny with a sprinkling of sad. Please continue.
1168222 with pleasure :)
Boom, update. please don't hesitate to tell me what you think, rome wasn't built in a day, so I could always use some constructive critisism
I saw no problems mate. Keep up the awesomeness
Buncha typos dude happy to pm you or whatever and point em out. Nice chapter, bloody intense tho.
1184156 thanks for the heads up, i'll get on those typos right away.
DAWWWWWWW
Splinter, you silly old timberwolf. Everypony knows that you can never say no to a filly.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!
i found this chapter to be quite hilarious
Very adorable but AB has reddish eyes like her mane not gold >.> <.< *hides*
*Pops out of hidey hole* great stuff can't wait t'see more!