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The Bubble7,324 words
Alternate Ending974 words

Alternate Ending

Ocellus tossed and turned in bed, hours that felt like minutes flying away. She stared up at the ceiling, eyes wide open. Imaginary stars hung above her, clung to her brain like a million parasprites. No matter how hard she tried, her brain would not turn off.

She shifted onto her side, pushing the hot blanket away from her damp body. Her gaze fell on the box on top of the nightstand, trying to pierce through the cardboard to examine the orb and all of its intricacies.

Her concentration on the box was broken when she heard a shuffle in the bed across from her. On the other side of the room, Silverstream dozed peacefully like a newborn bunny, oblivious to the world around her. Ocellus looked at Silverstream’s innocent face, wondering what would happen if she got up right now and took the orb from its box.

Against her better instincts, she slid out of bed. Her body felt like sludge, fighting the traction of her conscience holding her back. Dread began to creep through the back of her mind as she lifted another foreleg and set it against the soft carpet.

Creak! A strong jolt went through her chest and she looked back at Silverstream as she shifted in bed. The hippogriff mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, turning her back to the changeling.

Ocellus blinked in surprise. When she was sure Silverstream wouldn’t wake up, she breathed a sigh of relief and took another step. Each creak felt like quicksand in a maze, her heart pounding harder the closer she got to the box..

What am I doing? Here I am one second telling Silverstream it’s not worth it, and here I am now wanting to go back.

She stepped back. The box suddenly seemed cursed, like the spirit of a god would pop out any moment and smite her. Her stomach churned looking at it.

No, she thought. I’ll just go back to bed. Yeah, I’ll just go back to bed and forget I even tried.

Ocellus took another hesitant step back and jumped when she heard more shuffling. Her head darted in Silverstream’s direction, the hippogriff had turned over again, back against the wall. And she was facing the nightstand. The nightstand with the box. The nightstand with the box that kept the Bubble inside. And Ocellus was making the mistake of looking at it again.

A thought popped into her head. What if I smash it? Yeah, what if I smash it and be rid of it? Not Silverstream or anycreature — well, anycreature that gets a hold of this particular one — will be able to use it. Silverstream won’t be able to give it to Gallus, and Gallus won’t be able to hand it off to somecreature else…

The image of the star-splattered remains of what-could-have-been danced dazzlingly in her head. Now it was what-could-be, but what would Silverstream think? She would hear the smash and wake up immediately. She could stuff it in a pillowcase, take it out back where the janitors throw their trash, and swing it like a flail against the solid edge of the dumpster, but did she want to risk being caught outside after curfew just to do the deed? The what-could-be?

No, she had an important reputation to keep up. Her peers expected only the best of her, that included her teachers — her reputation. The same sort of reputation she would find in the Bubble only doubled — no — tripled, multiplied, added, rounded — Stop!

More blankets rustled. Silverstream was still cuddled up in her duvet, dozing away like the world was on fire and the bed was off in another dimension safe away.

Okay, I can do this.

Ocellus looked back at the box. It was far away down a corridor with an exit sign lingering above it. Yes, the exit sign, that sweet promise of bliss. All she had to do was (creak!) walk down it, ignore the (creak!) echos of her footsteps, or in this case the (creak!, creak!) creaking of of the floorboard beneath the carpet, and arrive (creak!) at her destination. That sweet moment of bliss and she can finally (creeeeeeaaak!) feel like she’s one with the universe. All the while her heart continued to thump.

Opening the flaps, she levitated the orb out. It felt like a paperweight with the gravity of a planet; meanwhile, Silverstream's snores weighed on her nervous conscience.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

She stared into her concave fish-eye reflection. No stars lingered above her head. Instead, her head was surrounded by swaths of dark purple mist. What was she looking for? Was there anything to get out of this?

Thump… Thump… Thump…

Yes, there was plenty. A new world to explore. New friends to keep up with. She could even stay in contact with all her current friends.

Suddenly, the object in her hooves felt sacred. Here she was holding another world before herself. A world of new existence. A world of existence where she didn’t have to worry about homework, studying, exams, her future. Anyone could be her friend, and all she has to worry about is keeping up with her followers.

Thump… Thump…

Ocellus touched the orb to her head. There was no other thought before it. Her heart had simply come to a halt, Silverstream became far away, and the world turned still. There was only the present now. All it would take is a shock to bring her out. A present shock.

The orb flickered its bright purple several times like before. On-off, on-off it went. Ocellus looked over at Silverstream to make sure it wasn’t waking her up, but the hippogriff did not stir. Finally, the bright orb died down to a faint violet hue.

“Hello, Ocellus.”

And all the stars in the Universe found their place.

the bubble

Author's Note:

Thank you everyone that read this story. I remember when I first conceived the idea of The Bubble, I had messaged Jack of a Few Trades and told him this idea I had about Ocellus finding an orb that instantly drops her into a magically projected reality meant to replicate social media.

If it wasn't for him, this story probably wouldn't be here. This was written in the middle of the worst writer's block phase of my life, and it was thanks to his constant support that I was able to push it out. Every keystroke felt like a death sentence. "This word doesn't belong here"; "This sentence is unnecessary"; "Too much water." In fact, there was much from the original draft that was either cut or changed (The Hub for instance wasn't called the Hub at first but actually went through several different phases. None of which I can remember -- which I suppose shows how I made the right decision).

There was also the question of if I used too much dialogue. In a story where the world building is the thing that jumps out most, I still wonder if I could have gone back and added more detail and less dialogue. Here's that ultimatum: the characters are more important than the world. If I took anymore time to focus on the worldbuilding, the story would have derailed and become something entirely different. Perhaps Ocellus would have been looking on in awe, or the story would have completely become completely devoid of meaning. I wouldn't be able to write about social media, and I would only have a really cool story.

This is where the ending came into play.

While people have said the original ending was fun, it is not the ending I wanted. In fact, I had planned for Ocellus to go back into the Bubble since the beginning. However, something derailed me: it was a combination of a different ending I wrote and the fear that I would basically write the same thing, and the simple fact that it didn't do justice to the characters.

In the original ending I had written, Ocellus finds a way outside of the Hub and confronts an almost Lovecraftian beast. It's a bird with two suns for eyes and over a hundred arms, each sporting a balance scale. One side of the balance scale holds a big pile of money; the other holds the Hubs. You can see why I didn't go with this ending.

There was the fear that if I released this one, I would be basically writing the same thing again. However, there was another issue: the characterization didn't line up. I kept writing and writing, and when I got to those last few paragraphs I couldn't bare to take control as the author. I had to make a decision: do I want to make a the choice for the characters or do I want the characters to make the choice themselves?

What a lucky break that turned out to be, because I was awestruck by what happened: Ocellus smashed the Bubble! That was not something I planned. I wanted her to place the Bubble in the box and end the story, but a sudden thought occurred just before I hit the last sentence, and, well, I went with it.

All-in-all, I am happy with how the story has turned out and the response it's gotten. I want to thank my editors: Freedom, Jack of a Few Trades, and OddShot. Another special thanks to Semillon, who edited for this ending and wrote a lovely review after the contest.

See ya'll.

(missy helped some I guess)

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Odd_Sarge

Odd_Sarge #1 · Apr 17th, 2020 · 2 · ·

A fantastic tale, and a great ending. I really do enjoy the way the original tone kept pace for the ending you finished up with, but I can agree with you staying true to yourself with this 'alternate' ending. I think this one reaches the main theme just as easily as the other; a proper alternative ending.

Thanks for writing, and I'll see you back at the Hub!

♡65

Ice Star

Ice Star #2 · Jun 9th, 2020 · · ·

♡69

I really liked the character work you did here. It was fairly subtle in many places, but a lot of stories with Ocellus seem to take that angle. These two girls made for a really fun duo and their wildly different reactions to the Bubblesphere made it a delight to follow. The comedy was appropriate and chuckle-worthy and didn't detract from things. A very plausible story of how young people can have super different reactions to social media.

I caught the tie-in to Jack's story too. Don't think I didn't.

FamousLastWords