“Hang on now,” said Applejack. “Me? Ministry of Wartime technology?”
“I’m more concerned about the whole Ministry of Arcane Science and the unethical experiments,” said Twilight. “That is not me!”
“Tell me again why Pinkie Pie was in charge of spying on everypony ?” questioned Rarity, looking at the pink mare with suspicion. Pinkie waved at Rarity with a smile on her face, looking excited.
First of all, I want to point out the fact that I adore the detail of the sentence at the beginning of each chapter, it gives it a Fallout: Equestria vibe that in few - if not any - fics I've been able to see; gives the story that subtle touch that is highly appreciated.
Second, very good narrative structure. The diegesis is quite entertaining, with Fluttershy's point of view shimmering above Ember's brief moments.
Third, the grammar is amazing. I'm not very talented when it comes to writing in English, yet I still appreciate the good grammar that gives sense to the narrative of this story.
Fourth, there are three things that I love a lot about the story in general (but specifically about this chapter):
- The fact that you gave yourself the time to build the characters and make them, slowly, show attitudes that evoke how the Fo: E's Main 6 were in personality is something I like a lot. In the beginning, I didn't notice it, but this second reading makes me understand that aspect more clearly (especially Rainbow Dash towards Celestia).
- Fluttershy's introduction to Velvet simply makes anyone who has read Fo: E and wondered how our favorite unicorn (after Littlepip, Blackjack, and Homage, of course) would act when being face to face with who it would be her "idol", ended up satisfied.
- Finally, the small details make the reader think that something could happen or if "x" or "y" will be relevant in the future.
In general, I loved it. Fo: E vibes that I missed (and I'm retaking the original fanfic) and I hope it stays like that.
Extraordinary work, Shimmer.
Att: Bronie312.
P.S: I wonder who might be following them at the end.*Raises Eyebrow*
And so it begins. Hey again Shimmer, how are things?
Dang the memory merging is already happening seeing how Dash is being aggressive to Celestia, which isn't really normal, its nice to see Velvet, wonder which mane 6 went to look for Homage? Celestia might ask Spike to send her to where she can meet her own counterpart
Ahhh, yeeted. That came out of left field xD Got a good chuckle. So, our neighborhood cultist wants to do Enclave things. Shame. Wonder if his supernatural benefactor wants it... Either way, I get the feeling he's gonna try to manipulate them...
Wonder why Study's keeping Twilight in the tower... Eh, guess we'll see Going back in time, an impossibility? Ahhh, Ember... Just wait until Starlight starts considering time travel...
So, memories are merging between the two timelines. AFAIK, Celestia and Luna in this timeline died in agony... Well, that's gonna cause some PTSD if they ever see some pink cloud...
Fluttershy’s brain almost broke at this point. “T-Tree?! I’m a tree?!”
Hmm Interesting, according to this exchange of dialogue, this world’s Fluttershy has yet to be freed from her tree transformation in the Everfree Forest. That is certainly interesting as I seem to recall that in the official canon those events happened during Littlepip’s adventure. So I was wondering if this divergence in the official timeline it’s an implication that we will be seeing more of Fluttershy‘s counterpart in the future? (I certainly would love to see the two Fluttershy‘s meet and their interaction.) Kind regards, SonicDJM
“Tell me again why Pinkie Pie was in charge of spying on everypony ?” questioned Rarity, looking at the pink mare with suspicion. Pinkie waved at Rarity with a smile on her face, looking excited.
First!
10963425
Lol.
And now, their minds are F*cked. Love it.
Okay then:
First of all, I want to point out the fact that I adore the detail of the sentence at the beginning of each chapter, it gives it a Fallout: Equestria vibe that in few - if not any - fics I've been able to see; gives the story that subtle touch that is highly appreciated.
Second, very good narrative structure. The diegesis is quite entertaining, with Fluttershy's point of view shimmering above Ember's brief moments.
Third, the grammar is amazing. I'm not very talented when it comes to writing in English, yet I still appreciate the good grammar that gives sense to the narrative of this story.
Fourth, there are three things that I love a lot about the story in general (but specifically about this chapter):
- The fact that you gave yourself the time to build the characters and make them, slowly, show attitudes that evoke how the Fo: E's Main 6 were in personality is something I like a lot. In the beginning, I didn't notice it, but this second reading makes me understand that aspect more clearly (especially Rainbow Dash towards Celestia).
- Fluttershy's introduction to Velvet simply makes anyone who has read Fo: E and wondered how our favorite unicorn (after Littlepip, Blackjack, and Homage, of course) would act when being face to face with who it would be her "idol", ended up satisfied.
- Finally, the small details make the reader think that something could happen or if "x" or "y" will be relevant in the future.
In general, I loved it. Fo: E vibes that I missed (and I'm retaking the original fanfic) and I hope it stays like that.
Extraordinary work, Shimmer.
Att: Bronie312.
P.S: I wonder who might be following them at the end. *Raises Eyebrow*
And so it begins. Hey again Shimmer, how are things?
Dang the memory merging is already happening seeing how Dash is being aggressive to Celestia, which isn't really normal, its nice to see Velvet, wonder which mane 6 went to look for Homage? Celestia might ask Spike to send her to where she can meet her own counterpart
How many chapters long will this story be?
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I am not sure. Some arcs will be shorter than others.
Imagine them meeting Derpy and Fluttershy in the universe.
I really like Velvet interaction with the mane six.
10963688
I love the what-ifs in any kind of story, really.
"You are all worthless and weak!"
Quoting Twisted Sister songs, are we?
Yeetus
10963966
Not my intention but now I can't stop thinking of the song, lol.
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Cletus.
10964358
Yeet
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tweet
10964392
Twitter?
10964397
no like what birds do
10964398
Ah.
Ahhh, yeeted. That came out of left field xD Got a good chuckle.
So, our neighborhood cultist wants to do Enclave things. Shame. Wonder if his supernatural benefactor wants it... Either way, I get the feeling he's gonna try to manipulate them...
Wonder why Study's keeping Twilight in the tower... Eh, guess we'll see
Going back in time, an impossibility? Ahhh, Ember... Just wait until Starlight starts considering time travel...
So, memories are merging between the two timelines. AFAIK, Celestia and Luna in this timeline died in agony... Well, that's gonna cause some PTSD if they ever see some pink cloud...
Still love this story! I hope if you ever return to this story we see some more of the cmc in the wasteland!
11036389
Yeah, it's going. A new chapter will be uploaded tomorrow.
Hmm Interesting, according to this exchange of dialogue, this world’s Fluttershy has yet to be freed from her tree transformation in the Everfree Forest. That is certainly interesting as I seem to recall that in the official canon those events happened during Littlepip’s adventure. So I was wondering if this divergence in the official timeline it’s an implication that we will be seeing more of Fluttershy‘s counterpart in the future? (I certainly would love to see the two Fluttershy‘s meet and their interaction.)
Kind regards,
SonicDJM
Did Velvet forget about meeting the alternate celestia or something? :P
Also she never got too talk too Rarity you know since shes related too sweetie belle and all Though im sure your saving for the CMC greeting lol.
Because she knows EVERYTHING!