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There aren’t McRibs in Equestria, but that won’t stop a pony who wants her McRib fix. If they can’t be had at the Hayburger, it’s not that much of a stretch to commute to Alliance, Nebraska and get one.
Or maybe two, because right now they’re two for six at participating locations.
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First.
McRibs taste like shit. Good thing this story is better than a McRib.
(So is it Roxanne? or Roxann? Make up your mind, Admiral!)
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You win a McRib sandwich!*
*For a limited time, participating locations only, offer not valid in Alaska or Hawaii.
My biggest question is: why a pony? I know they're not strictly herbivores, but they are largely vegetarian. Doesn't seem to me like a race that would go out of their way to eat a sandwich with meat as the main product, limited time or not? Why not, say, a griffon? They are normally half birds of prey and half feline, both of which are mainly carnivorous.
1. I didn't know the McRib was back
2. I feel as though someone in that McDonald's would have reacted to a pony there, positively or negatively.
3. As much as I'd like to deny it, Fostoria Ohio does exist and most certainly will have the McRib.
3a. Edit - They do!
I had a McRib last week and it was still as delicious as ever!
I'll be right back. I.. um... forgot something at McDonalds. Talk among yourselves while I'm gone.
McRib Locator for you
why am i so hungry now
is this the power of compelling narratives or just the power of mcribs
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Corrections made; thank you!
The McRib is disgusting, but this story was entertaining.
A little something extra in that order.
I dont understand the appeal of McDonalds or this McRib thing.
But its a bit of a moot point for me, I cant eat the things.
This had an interesting cadence to it.
For those of us in New England, Cumberland Farms (convenience store chain) has a 'rib-b-q sandwich'. The differences from a McRib: different bread, different sauce, no onions, no pickles, they reheat it in a 'speedy oven'. And, if they don't have any visible with the other sandwiches in the display, ask at the counter. Where you have to ask anyway if you want it heated up. (trust me, you don't want to try doing it in a home microwave. You'll end up with wet rubber bread and/or hard rubber meat)
Extra square bracket.
This was a story, for sure. Fun fact: My brain kind of filled in an e on the end of Roxann until two thirds of the way through the story.
9890414 Perhaps the answer is that he doesn't like writing griffons. Which I'm pretty sure he doesn't.
Alternatively, it could be that he wants to rustle my jimmies (in particular) with yet another carnivorous pegasus story.
A confusing, entirely believable story about a vile sandwich and the pony that wants them. Slightly confused but amused/10
Damn you.
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I suspect, though I can't prove it, that most (if not all) of his pony-on-Earth stories are actually distant sequels of a sort to his Pony Planet story. And since the ponies of Equestria are the primary point of contact in that story for the human characters, it's not a stretch to think that they'd be the primary users of a functional passage between the two.
I loved the way you told this from both perspectives. It's interesting to know how ponies view and think of us!
Nice story, Biscuit!
Man, is Ohio even real?
LOL @ McRoof
Also, looks like the Roxann/e thing hasn't been ironed out yet.
Well, I must admit that I rarely eat Maccas food (well, alleged food) and I am pretty sure over here they've never sold a McRib sandwich... so I guess that makes two pretty good reasons I cannot judge Clear Skies dietary choices.
(Hmmm... Georg's Rib Finder seems to agree that there are none over here)
Heh, I always like coming across a place with a name that makes me go "Huh... where the heck did that come from?"... places like Poowong, Chinkapook, Wonglepong, Bleak House or Yorky's Knob... I've been through all of these and many more over the years. (actually I must admit, Bleak House is a lost town near where I grew up and there is nothing left of it except a cemetery).
This is utterly unrealistic. No one in the service industry has ever received a ten dollar bill and then failed to ask, completely unnecessarily, "Out of ten?"
I'm thinking that the McRib is back.
Then again, this story is so clearly unbelievable it could just be lying about that too. I mean, a place with a still open K-Mart!?
More proof that all ponies are reality warpers, it's just some learn to do it better. Seriously, do they all have personal subspace pockets they keep this stuff in?
And yeah, I can buy a fast food worker near the end of a shift is just so burnt out, dead, and out of fucks to give that not even a pastel colored equine walking in and wanting to devour the flesh of other creatures gets a reaction beyond "You want fries with that?" Though it's always hard to tell in these things from you just what the status between Earth and Equestria is and how common ponies are at any given point.
9890414
If the latter was the case, it was certainly a better trip than that time the Hamburglar tried to convince her to burn the place to the ground. Though she made sure she was well away from the cartons of oil as she took the pony's order.
Nice touch with ponies being uncomfortable with base ten. No reason why they'd use it, after all. Thank you for a strange but wholesome story of two ships passing in the night atop a sea of mass-produced barbeque sauce.
I’m heading home to enjoy my Mc rib sandwich right now.I don’t know why everyone hates on it. It’s such a great sandwich I don’t particularly like the onions or pickles either I usually get it plain it’s sitting right here in the brown unbleached bag next to me. I can relate to Clear Skies.
[Krusty the Clown]: We've had to discontinue the Ribwich. The animal we made 'em from is now extinct.
[Crowd]: (Homer) The pig...? (Otto) The cow...?
[Krusty]: You're waaaay off. Think smaller. Think more legs.
(And for those who will probably wonder/ask... The Simpsons; season 14, episode 12, "I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can")
Good story, bad burger.
If only the sauce were sweeter...
You know, I have to ask. Did you write this solely because of your love of McRibs or because you saw the art you used for the cover and felt inspired to write something based off it? I’m banking on you feeling inspired as well as wanting to utilize your knowledge of working at McDs once upon a time
And then Clear Skies dropped rainbows.
sees story title
Story about McDonalds food? Pass.
"...by Admiral Biscuit"
...
...
cautious click...
9890414
This assumes that there's actually meat in the McRib.
Hmmm... An interesting idea here revolving around the McRib. I honestly didn't expect it to turn out the way it did.
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Of course they do; there’s a reason they were dropped from the menu in the first place. Make them exclusive, though, and people’ll line up to buy them, because people are dumb. <looks over at SDCC Derpy Action figure bought from a scalper on eBay for four times the list price>
It’s supposed to be without the ‘e’, ‘cause that’s what my White Pages research indicated, but I couldn’t help putting it in. I think I’ve found all the extra es and removed them, but I’ll look again.
9890414
Why not a pony?
Oh, but you see, give ponies a limited time offer, and they just line up. Herd mentality in action, don’t you know.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/10/25/1865388.jpeg
I’ll admit, I did give consideration to having it be Silverstream, but I thought it was better if it was a pony, since we all know that ponies don’t normally
wear clotheseat meat.9890416
1. It is
2. Maybe not after the lunch rush.
3. Yes, it does, and I’ve been there, probably.
3a. Alliance, NE doesn’t, AFAIK.
9890417
Which, let’s face it, can be a stamp of approval or disapproval.
9890419
Just asking, for no reason in particular, does Manhattan, KS have McDonalds?
9890433
I’d like to think it’s the power of compelling narrative about an adorable pony.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/4/25/882704.png
9890438
I concur on both parts.
9890447
That stray bracket can be blamed on two different text editors and a sleepy Biscuit.
McDonald’s in general, it’s fast food at a cheap price. The McRib, I assume it’s because you can’t get them all the time, so when you can, you want one. Same as any other limited edition, really.
Thank you! I was going for something a bit unconventional.
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Speedways have something similar, I believe: some sort of rib-like sandwich in their hot box thingy by the cash register. Used to be it was just truck stop egg salad sandwiches you couldn’t trust; now they’ve gone and broadened their selection.
i.ytimg.com/vi/co3A61kAGr8/maxresdefault.jpg
I blame my editor.
<looks in mirror>
Dammit
Thanks!
Funner fact, that wasn’t just your brain. A lot of those Roxanns did have an e on them until I fixed it early this morning, ‘cause my traitorous fingers went and put them in.
9890479
Gilda specifically; OC griffons I can do okay. But I do tend to stick to ponies and humans for the most part.
That wasn’t my intent, honest. Wasn’t even sure what pony it would be in the story until I found the coverart I used.
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Vile Sandwiches and the Ponies Who Want Them . . . sounds like a legit title to me.
I can live with that. Thanks!
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derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/12/11/1905200.png
9890583
,,,
You’ll never take me alive, copper!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/24/18273.gif
9890589
I legit wasn’t going to, but it just felt lacking without the pony point of view.
As weird hairless, hornless minotaurs, duh.
Thanks!
9890711
All is cold and dark . . . are we dead, or is this Ohio?