• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 10 minutes ago

Admiral Biscuit


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T

There's nothing more boring than being stuck at home while your friend Jeff goes off to a convention without you, so Lyra decides to do something about it. After all, Jeff left his van behind, and she's pretty confident that she knows how to drive.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 49 )

Hey Lyra how about some traveling music?

This pretty much reminds me of every road trip I've ever been on, (Except less curse happy) usually going up through Georgia and up to Alabama to visit some of my family. And for Lyra and Bon-Bon (Nice cover pic by the way) I've pretty much have the definitive road trip song (Aside from Radar Love) to make their journey a little easier.

“I've seen some shit, Lyra.”

A+

I would be going to TrotCon because it's the closest to my house by like 5 hours, but my problems with that are, I went to BronyCon last week, I can't drive, my Dad has work, and my Mom and youngest brother are flying to Boulder, Colorado to visit my sister. :applejackunsure:

this was something nice

"Lyra?"

"Yes, Bon Bon."

"Are you sure this is Trotcon?" Bon Bon looked around the convention center and the endless series of lines stretching in all directions. "It looks more like Linecon."

7392829 Yeah, I laughed at that too. Easily one of the funniest lines in the story.:rainbowlaugh:

But its the thought that counts :trollestia:

Unfortunately, it's not on YouTube. But the best driving song for Lyra and Bon Bon is Tom Smith's Driving Through Ohio.

Yes, I like driving through Ohio
'Cause it's flat and boring as your kitchen floor.

There's nothing for miles no matter where you look
There isn't anything to do or see

(Full lyrics here.)

Bon Bon crossed her forehooves. “I've seen some shit, Lyra.”

"I once found about a hundred ghosts all trying to haunt one another. It was just this massive, writhing ball of self-loathing ectoplasm."

"Really? What did you do with it."

"Set it on fire. The stuff's really flammable at those densities. Then I knocked it into a nest of windigoes. So you can understand why, having survived that, I'd really rather not die because you can't operate a human metal death carriage.

They'd be a lot easier to figure out if we had trichromatic vision.

I know the biological underpinnings of this joke, but it just doesn't work; ponies appear to have all the cones that we do. Otherwise, why would they manufacture colors of the rainbow that they can't see? To say nothing of the quality assurance for those colors.

(This has been another edition of FoME Thinks Too Much™, killing jokes since 1987.)

In all, this was a very fun little road trip, though I'm surprised to see that it's already over. Still, good to see that ponies can operate motor vehicles without horrible death and pain.

Yesssss. Road trip stories for the win. There's also nothing like the feeling of crossing into Ohio...

I am surprised that they not only made it, but they never got pulled over. Also I am surprised that they did not need to stop and get gas.

Calling you navigation pixie GPs Navi... fair enough.

And Bon Bon is a really good co-pilot, more so since she appear very clueless to how human are doing things.

“We haven't got Navi with us—I imagine that Jeff took it—so we're going to have to use these.”

[youtube=seKaU-qQuts]

Lyra stared admiringly at it until a rumble from the tires informed her that she was drifting off the road.”

road.

I do enjoy some good Bonra shenanigans.

I really wanted this to end with them getting pulled over within sight of the hotel by a cop and needing to get bailed out by Jeff.

Any title that has "Lyra and Bonbon" in it always reminds me of "Lyra and Bonbon's Forty Day Cruise."

“You don't know that.” Bon Bon crossed her forehooves. “I've seen some shit, Lyra.”

That would be in the course of her work for the Pony-SCP/Pony-Torchwood, I reckon.

As she passed the Park and Ride sign, she raised an eyebrow.

“I don't think it means that.”

:trollestia:

Another great story. You are now officially forgiven for making Meghan sad.

And they didn't get pulled over once. Lyra's pretty good at driving.

7392809

Hey Lyra how about some traveling music?

Ah, the traditional driving song.

7392815

This pretty much reminds me of every road trip I've ever been on, (Except less curse happy) usually going up through Georgia and up to Alabama to visit some of my family.

I've had pretty much all of those experiences myself. While on the road to Trotcon 2015, actually.

And for Lyra and Bon-Bon I've pretty much have the definitive road trip song (Aside from Radar Love) to make their journey a little easier.

One of my favorite driving songs is Drive by R.E.M.

Brings back great memories of cruising down dirt roads on a rainy day in my dad's Camaro. He made me wash it after, but it was worth it.

(Nice cover pic by the way)

It's legit Lyra and Bon Bon in a minivan (which pulls to the right) on their way to Trotcon '15.

7392829

A+

:heart:

7392834

I would be going to TrotCon because it's the closest to my house by like 5 hours, but my problems with that are, I went to BronyCon last week...

Did I miss you at Bronycon? I mostly lurked in Quills and Sofas.

7392850

this was something nice

:heart:

7392906

"Are you sure this is Trotcon?" Bon Bon looked around the convention center and the endless series of lines stretching in all directions. "It looks more like Linecon."

Ah, Linecon. Arriving at odd hours means that you get to miss the experience, unless you want to get autographs or sommat.

7392972

Easily one of the funniest lines in the story.

Possibly the funniest, and it wasn't even in the rough draft.

7393043

Unfortunately, it's not on YouTube. But the best driving song for Lyra and Bon Bon is Tom Smith's Driving Through Ohio.

To quote the Animaniacs:
"All is strange and vague. Are we dead, or are we in Ohio?"

7393280

There's also nothing like the feeling of crossing into Ohio...

Except for the feeling of crossing out of Ohio.

7393329

I am surprised that they not only made it, but they never got pulled over. Also I am surprised that they did not need to stop and get gas.

Any sensible cop would pretend he didn't see that. I've actually had that happen to me before, when I was towing a boat on a trailer on a trailer with a license plate that was 30 years expired and a pirate flag on the back. The cop watched as I went by, and then turned the other way.

As for the fuel situation, you can make it from my house to Trotcon on one tank, even if you miss the turn in Findlay. Trust me; I've done it.

7393250

I know the biological underpinnings of this joke, but it just doesn't work; ponies appear to have all the cones that we do. Otherwise, why would they manufacture colors of the rainbow that they can't see? To say nothing of the quality assurance for those colors.

They could potentially distinguish them by smell, taste, or even magic (if we're talking about the rainbows in the weather factory, anyway).

I think it would actually be funny if they were all colorful like we see in the show but they simply didn't know because they can't see those colors.
41.media.tumblr.com/83715266083c09a4f6cc8f9a0457e321/tumblr_mrk0ayhkDy1st9xvjo3_500.png

In all, this was a very fun little road trip, though I'm surprised to see that it's already over. Still, good to see that ponies can operate motor vehicles without horrible death and pain.

Lyra practiced with Grand Theft Auto, which is like a driving simulator, right?

Yeah, it's amazing that they made it.

7393464

Calling your navigation pixie GPS Navi... fair enough.

I call mine Navi. Mostly as in "Shut up, Navi, I know where I'm going."

And Bon Bon is a really good co-pilot, more so since she appear very clueless to how human are doing things.

She's a fast learner. That's a requirement for being an Equestrian secret agent.

7393522

I do enjoy some good Bonra shenanigans.

:heart:

7393642

I really wanted this to end with them getting pulled over within sight of the hotel by a cop and needing to get bailed out by Jeff

When I was in college in Kalamazoo, my girlfriend lived near Stow, Ohio, which was about a five hour drive. I did get pulled over once literally in sight of her house. I was one cornfield away; I could clearly see the open garage door. Since I was out of state, the cop asked where I was going, and I pointed to her house. He let me go without a ticket.

7395977

This is amazing.

Heh, thanks! It's all based on the last trip I took to Trotcon, although there were no ponies driving the van.

7393917

That would be in the course of her work for the Pony-SCP/Pony-Torchwood, I reckon.

Yup. When you're hunting monsters, you see some shit.

7407270 I was walking around, went to a few panels, and cosplayed on Friday and Saturday.

7396575
Another great story. You are now officially forgiven for making Meghan sad.
:heart:

7402328

Easy as Yay!

One wrong turn, stuck in road construction for a little bit . . . basically, every road trip ever.

7404008

And they didn't get pulled over once. Lyra's pretty good at driving.

Possibly better than all those texting and driving fools. Or, hypothetically, some dumb bastard who wrote the rough draft of a road trip story while driving to and from Bronycon. Hypothetically.

7407311
Damn, I feel bad that I missed you.

Unless you were the squeaky batpony, which was the best cosplay of the whole thing.

7407292

I think it would actually be funny if they were all colorful like we see in the show but they simply didn't know because they can't see those colors.

Two words: Pinkie Pie.

Of course, being able to see her own coloration may just be one of the less appreciated aspects of her insanity. :pinkiecrazy:

7407280

Wow I do not usually believe in refuge in audacity but I guess it works.

7407310 Just ROB crawling around drunk with a hardhat.

7407322 Too bad I missed you to. On Friday I was Big Mac and on Saturday I was Doctor Whooves.

7407350

Two words: Pinkie Pie.
Of course, being able to see her own coloration may just be one of the less appreciated aspects of her insanity.

Yes! She's the only one who can see full-color, and of course nobody believes her.

Incidentally, if you're red/green colorblind, apparently Pinkie Pie is a close match to her sisters.
mlponies.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Pinkie-Pie-Family-colorblind-simulation-690x194.jpg
(Source)

7407364

Wow I do not usually believe in refuge in audacity but I guess it works.

There are times when it works to your advantage.

7407366

Just ROB crawling around drunk with a hardhat.

You've seen the pictures, eh? Good times.

7407395

Too bad I missed you to. On Friday I was Big Mac and on Saturday I was Doctor Whooves.

Well, we'll just have to meet up next year. :pinkiehappy:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Lyra turned her head back at the car. “Suck my dick!”

I lol'd

Were you at Trotcon again this year? Now that I think about it, I think I saw you.

" “You don't know that.” Bon Bon crossed her forehooves. “I've seen some shit, Lyra.” "~ This is one of the most succinct descriptions of my Bon-Bon headcanon. It just encapsulates her so well. Kudos!

That's it? Oh come on, I was enjoying this!

8435765

That's it? Oh come on, I was enjoying this!

:heart:

Maybe I'll write more about ponies driving cars in the future. Or Lyra and Bon Bon. Or both!

Fun fact! Most of this story was written in a car, on the way to Bronycon.

Interesting story!

Wait a minute. I was at Trotcon that year and I didn't see them there. Also nice story.

9745652

Wait a minute. I was at Trotcon that year and I didn't see them there.

Did you see me there?

Also nice story.

Thank you! :heart:

9747145
I was the guy wearing an Admiral Biscuit t-shirt. Also over 6 feet (10 meters) tall.

This went much better than I expected. :yay:

Very fun. I admit I'm curious to hear how Jeff and the congoers handled it, but definitely wasn't needed in this fic. n_n

11675026
Let's be honest, everybody at a ponycon would lose their minds if an actual pony showed up. Jeff might wonder how they got there, though, and I don't think Lyra (or Bon Bon) would lie about how they got there.

11675812
Oh absolutely. Lyra would just be delighted to see so many humans and Bon-Bon would be too busy making sure she doesn't overdo is and die to lie.

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