Artist, Thundercat, Brony, Werewolf, Animator, Writer, Student, all badass
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Needs editing, bad. Also, everything is back to being hunky-dory way too quick.
9872072
Sorry about that. I went ahead and fixed up spelling errors, and gave the paragraphs more space. As for the ending...Well, Everything is not what t seems. Plus, It's not entirely over yet. But that's gonna be another short story.
Quite a few mistakes of all kinds are present. It's hard to enjoy the story because of those.
Also, choice of words can be rather questionable sometimes. Have you tried to read the whole text before publishing? Sometimes it's all you need to know that a new round of editing is needed.
P.S. I don't see a 'Human' tag, but, for some reason, you use 'woman' instead of a 'mare' and a 'man' instead of a 'stallion'. Why?
9911746
It's an alternate universe.
9911746
You say mistakes, and don't provide examples.
9911746
Started to correct the story a bit, your lordship.
I laughed pretty hard when they pissed on her; shows how much the internet has twisted my sense of humor!
9921760
Anyone with a twisted sense of humor is always welcomed.
9918018
New speaker should have a new paragraph.
9945247
Ah, okay.
9945247
Went and corrected that error. TBH, not the best writer, Grammer wise.