• Member Since 10th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen April 18th

the frank


T

This story is a sequel to Oh, Ma'am, just one more thing...


Rarity has seen better days. She has just returned from a business trip in Trottingham, where the news reached her that her fiancé Sunset Shimmer had been killed during a robbery gone wrong. It's understandable that she's feeling a bit rough.

But as she's trying to deal with her sorrow and the aftermath of the tragedy, she keeps running into the same police officer over and over again, at the most strange occasions. And there is always just one more thing he needs to ask her about...



An EqG/Columbo Crossover.
All charachters are 20+ or well above that.
Not an entry, but inspired by Oroboros Sunset shipping contest and written more or less because of a comment by Boredauthor817 and livinthelife.

Also, not really a sequel, except on a spiritual level.

Enjoy.

Since we all know how Columbo works, the identity of the killer isn't that much of a suprice, I just hope I got the atmosphere right.

Finally Edited on the 9th of september 2019 by Javarod. Written in one go. It took me five hours.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 22 )

9817049
It truly was something special!

Ha! Yeah, it's really clear you skipped in the editing.

That aside, this was a great read. You really caught Columbo well.

Though seems a bit odd that he would just jump in and try to solve the case. He's worked on cases outside his jurisdiction before (heck, he's solved cases in England and on the open seas). But, he's not the kind to step on another detective's toes. It would have been more believable if he was invited by the Canterlot PD and had one of their detectives with him.

Anyway, thoroughly enjoyed it. Now I feel more pressured to work in my "Murder, She Wrote" story.

Also, I agree "And Then There Were None" is a true masterpiece.

9817113

Ha! Yeah, it's really clear you skipped in the editing.

Heh. Yeah. I kinda wrote it in a frenzy, I knew that if I didn't get it out fast, I would never finish it. But I am trying to at least do SOME editing in retrospect.

That aside, this was a great read. You really caught Columbo well.

Thank you. I'm glad I at least accomplished that.

Though seems a bit odd that he would just jump in and try to solve the case.

I do agree, and the explanation is the same as above. I wanted to get it done and I had no real idea for any other cops... but I might add a little explanation, that he was invited to work on the case or something...

"And then there were none" is Christie at her peak goddammit!
And a murder she wrote crossover? YOU HAVE A READER!

9817123

I am trying to at least do SOME editing in retrospect.

The biggest thing that probably stuck out is using "motif" instead of "motive". Also, you may want to change "ejaculated" to something else (Act 2). I know what you meant, but no one uses it in that context anymore.

And a murder she wrote crossover?

I'm not sure if I want to do a true crossover, or do a MLP'ed Jessica Fletcher. I do plan on it being a bit more of a tongue-in-cheek type of storey, and maybe make some playful jabs at Miss Marple while I'm at it.

Out of curiosity, have you ever seen the 1976 comedy "Murder by Death"?

9817153
Motive will be changed. I will also add a local policeman to.follow him in a few scenes.
I will not change ejaculate though. I am trying to reclaim it.

I have not! I have heard a lot about it though, and if ai get a chance I will watch it! You have seen it I guess?

9817162

I will not change ejaculate though. I am trying to reclaim it.

Okay. You do you. Lord knows, there are many things to be reclaimed!

You have seen it I guess?

Numerous times :derpytongue2:

9817049
Took me a while, but I think I know which one you're talking about.

Was it the one with Roddy McDowell where he plays a guy who kills his uncle with a bomb in a cigar box? and Columbo gets him to confess during a gondola ride up a mountain?

Also, as a bit if trivia: That episode also featured William Windon, who some may recognize as Dr. Seth Hazlitt from "Murder, She Wrote". Windon also had a part in the Columbo pilot "Prescription: Murder".

Ahh, that was wonderful. Thank you. And R.I.P, Mr. Falk.

I really like your Columbo but the narrative does basically lie to us a few times about Rarity’s reactions. Then again she does tell us that she’s narrating and picking what she’ll tell us, but it still seems like poor play.

Still though, nice simple mystery and a good crossover.

9817562
Well, the story I took the most inspiration from.reveals in the end that it's the narrator/killers written down tale, and that they did hold back certain things not to give everything away for the reader at once and I was going to do the same. But I never got it to work so I simply hoped the unreliable narrator trope would work.
Still, glad you liked my Columbo.

9817185
Well... I have to admit, I'm always 10 % troll, no matter what I write but I would love to see that word used in the more classic way more. It's a good word. Like Acquiesce.

Darn it. It's added to.my list of stuff I need to find.

Not bad, I think you got Columbo right. Despite it being something like two decades since I saw a Columbo mystery, this felt just like what I remember. I do think both him and Los Angeles should have a more pony style name. I do know an EQG story came up with such a name for Los Angeles, but neither that name nor the title comes to mind at the moment.

However, it makes no sense as a sequel to 'Oh, ma'am just one more thing', after all in that they're married to different people. Also I don't like Rarity as the killer, I think it might've been better if'n this were all a story within a story. Imagine the girls getting together just like old times, and Dash gets things going with which one of us would you kill, why and how. Whereas the others just gave those three answers, Rarity has to do a whole elaborate story involving a show she grew up with.

Finally, there are a couple minor mistakes (Twilight had a motif) in there. If'n you like, I'd be happy to give it a quick once over for you.

9818527
Well, it's not a sequel in the correct meaning, but a sequel in spirit, as it was comments on that story that spurred me to write this.

Also, a more poniefied name was on my mind briefly , but in the end I felt that Columbo must be Columbo and nopony else. And he is from LA. Also, I have seen maps that place Duckburg somewhere on the westcoast in the real U.S, so I think my choice has some merit.

If you would like to go through it and find my mistakes, sure. I would be more than grateful.
Thank you for reading.

9818564
Nods, "I like to play with readers a bit, give them clues and use puns or meanings for names, see if they figure out what I'm up to. As to mistakes, sure, don't suppose you write in Google docs and can give me the suggest link? It's easier to find stuff in there and correct it."

9817049
You just described 90% of tue show. :-p

You've done a good job of capturing the feeling of Columbo.

Good enough. I'm not sure why you tried to conceal Rarity's identity; It was her or Twilight and Twilight was suspected to early to make anyone think it was her, plus the whole point of Columbo is that its a Thriller where we know how the murder was committed. Still good, though.

10249021
Thank you. :pinkiehappy: Oh, I am aware that it's not classic Columbo to do it like this.
I has two reasons. The first one is that I can't help putting twists in my stories, and when it comes to thrillers I want that reveal. The second is that I had recently re-read "the murder of Roger Ackroyd" and I really wanted to try my hand at an unreliable narrator.

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