Dazzling Endgame

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A powerful snap was felt throughout the universe including the one where three sisters ,ex-sirens, now living a “normal” teenage life, the coin was tossed for each one of them, balance comes to immortals as well.

One-shot story based on Thanos snap in the MCU.

First time publishing a story, if you find any error please comment it below or pm me, still learning English, THANK YOU. 👍

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

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NaiadSagaIotaOar

NaiadSagaIotaOar #1 · Sep 4th, 2019 · · ·

The punctuation regarding dialogue's kinda iffy here--if you haven't seen it already, I'd urge you to read through the fimfiction writing guide, which covers most of the finnicky bits pretty well.

I'd say one thing to take particular note of, though, is that you should end dialogue with a comma if you're following it with "Aria said" or some other dialogue tag. So something like this:

“But Ariaaa-aaaaaaaa” She said in between swipes of Aria cleaning her.

Since you have a "she said," the dialogue should end with a comma (Or a question or exclamation mark, if one of those is necessary, but definitely something and definitely not a period).

Another thing is that when you have quotations inside of quotations, you should alternate between double and single quotation marks. So, like, with this part:

“Ughhhh, I told you Sonata, eating a hundred or so tacos wasn’t a good idea, specially the ones from “Sombrero’s Tacos”.”

… to be honest, I don't think you need "Sombrero's Tacos" in quotation marks at all, because I assume it's just a proper noun and we don't need to put those in quotation marks, but if you did, since it's inside one set of double quotations marks, you should use single quotation marks there instead. Like this:

“Ughhhh, I told you Sonata, eating a hundred or so tacos wasn’t a good idea, specially the ones from 'Sombrero’s Tacos'.”

I hope that helps, and that you keep writing

Fluffy-Boi

Fluffy-Boi #2 · Sep 4th, 2019 · 1 · ·

Sonata... *Cries like a bitch* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

redandready45

redandready45 #3 · Sep 4th, 2019 · · ·

Yeah, this story needs a lot of editing.

That being said:

You really captured the tragedy Thanos' finger snap would produce. One minute, the Sirens are their hilariously dysfunctional selves (they really felt in character), and the next minute the baby sibling vanishes.

I really hope you keep writing. Especially a sequel.

JOEBLACK

JOEBLACK #4 · Sep 4th, 2019 · · ·

on the one hand "Nooooooo. Not best Siren!!!!!" on the other, had the other two been taken and Sonata left behind i don't know how long she could have survived even if she had sought the help of whatever remains of Canterlot High.

mandy1412

mandy1412 #5 · Sep 5th, 2019 · 3 · ·

9815978
Thank you SO MUCH for your help, I really need to learn and practice more. This being my first Story and all, but thank you, for realsies.

9816937
Thank you and yes i need to learn and practice more, I was thinking of making a sequel,you know, with Sonata coming back 5 years latter and all that. Thank you for reading .

knigsonic

knigsonic #6 · Aug 25th, 2020 · 1 · ·

Few fics I can read where the grammar is supposed to be bad I can read through no problem. This is one of them. I got sucked in enough to be able to read that any bad grammar that might be there I just ignored cause I wanted to see what happened. For that, I applaud and go "whens the sequel?"

Hey its that Pony