After a few weeks, pinkie was back to normal.
All of us had to leave the hospital if we had something to do, like I had some flying practice with the wonderbolts, twilight had to check on spike and starlight, rarity had some dress orders, fluttershy had to check on her animals, and applejack had to see how her family was back at sweet apple acres.
We all had stuff to do but despite all that, we stayed with pinkie through the entire situation, and when she got relesed from the hospital, she threw a welcome back party for herself, classic pinkie pie, and we all had a blast at the party.
We even all made a new friend in the meantime, we got to know more about rainbow sparkle and even learned her father is in the royal guard in canterlot, of course, rarity flipped out when she heard that part.
Everything was great and if anypony else got the sickness, the nurses let their friends hang out with them until they were cured.
We were all happy.
Well, this seems like an interesting idea that could make for a good and enjoyable story However, the execution needs work. I’m sad to say it, but everything in the story happens so fast that the readers cannot enjoy a single bit of the plot, the grammar and spelling are off, and some of the parts just ramble on, resulting in quite a jarring mess of sentences.
I’m sorry the first comment on your story has to be such a negative one, but I believe while this may hurt, it’ll help you become a better writer more than any kind of pointless sugarcoating would. This story can still be fixed and turned into something really great. Some tender loving care is all it needs, along with your patience and a hand of a skilled editor. In theory, editing the story also means that you’ll have more time to create your OC toy
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thank you for telling me that, i was afraid of that. plus i'm only in seventh grade and i do have a form of autism so my stories aren't that long. and sorry for the spelling and grammar, i mostly worked on this story at school with a chromebook so i couldn't correct my spelling.i doubt that i'm going to get an editor soon but i hope i will. lastly, i don't think i'm going to be finishing my OC toy anytime soon, there is a lot of stuff going on and whenever i do have the chance to work on it, i forget. thank you for telling me this and i hope you like my other stories as well, and can you tell me what you said here, i want to improve after all, and possibly learn how to become a writer if i listen closely in my language arts class. down below are links to my other stories.
cupcakes after the fact
Rainbow dash's awesome daring adventure
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You’re welcome I understand. Well, no matter your young age or disabilities, you can always get better. It’s only about your will to improve and nothing else. For example, if you wrote this at school and were unable to fix the errors immediately, then why not read through the story again at home (ideally read it to yourself aloud word after word) and correct as many errors as you can find? And, if there are some errors that you cannot recognize yourself or you don’t know how to fix them, that’s where the editor or a similar helper comes in. You can find one in specialized editor/proofreader groups on this site, or ask a friend or family member with a good knowledge of English grammar and spelling Lastly, you might get some tips on certain stylistic aspects of story writing at school, but to be honest, no class will teach you how to write. That’s something you have to figure out by practicing your skills. Also, reading a lot of quality fiction helps, especially if you think about what you read and how it makes you feel.
Err, where should I tell you what?
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thank you for replying
10015560
You’re welcome!
And I see about your family and such. If that’s the case, they truly won’t help you much. Now, if you cannot find an editor, consider dowloading Grammarly. It is free and while not exactly perfectly suited for fiction, but it can still help you out with most errors, sentence structure included
Oh, I see. Well, I skimmed through both of them, finding errors of similar nature as I have found in this story.
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thank you, i've also heard of grammarly and i don't feel like downloading it now, i'll probably do it sometime in the future
10040931
I understand. It actually has an online version into which you can copy and paste your chapters :)
10041132
what do you mean
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That there is an online version of Grammarly that you don't need to download.
10045017
Ok, i’ll Check it out sometime in the future
Guess what guys! OC custom is close to being finished and is available to making a cover art pic, so enjoy the cover art