The Shimmer Cup - Part 1: Anonymous's Battlegrounds
"You signed me up for what!?"
"The Shimmer Cup!" Twilight said jovially, showing Sunset in her magic grip a copy of the registration form she had sent the day before to the Herd of Overpowered Fighters, or HoOF for short.
The 1st Shimmer Cup
Registration Form
Personal Information
Full Name: Prof. Sunset Shimmer
Preferred Nickname among Sunsets: Professor Sunnybuns
Defining Features: Nerdy glasses, gold-hilted sword, shoulder-strapped flask
Birthplace/Birth Species: Equestria, Universe B512-R745 / Equus sapiens unicornus
Current Residence: (Permanent/Nomadic) The Everycraftery
TIM-mail: empressbunnysuns@feech.comContestant Information
Power Type: Artifact-based, non-dependant
Class: Offensive Knight
Species on Attendance: Homo sapiens prismatica
Weapon(s): Oakeshott XIIa Sword
Armor: -
Other equipment(s): Glasses, InfiniflaskMoral Support Information
Name(s)/Nickname(s): Lucid Sparkle / Lucy
Defining Features: Generic Alicorn Twilight Sparkle
Current Residence: (Permanent/Nomadic) The Everycraftery
TIM-mail: twicraft666@feech.comSponsors
Company Name(s): The Everycraftery; Faber-Castell
Media(s): Contestant equipments; side banners
(For video and/or banners, please send the files through our website in
https://tim.hoof.com/events/sponsorguide/media)
"What the hay, Twi? I didn't consent to this!"
"You did, actually. Also, call me Lucy."
"When? Why?"
"Yesterday. I asked you, 'Hey, Sunny, what are your thoughts on fighting other versions of you?' and then you answered with, 'None. I'll have it when I've done it.' Also why what?"
"That was not, in any given context, me giving you my consent to sign me up on a multiversal gladiator ring. Also, why are you 'Lucy' again?"
Twilight Lucy let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, Sunny. You remember what you did last week?"
Sunset hummed. "I went on a vacation? I took Sweetie on a tour of the many species of the Anaphalis genus."
Lucy leveled a stare. "Seriously?"
"Well," Sunset said, taking a swig from her flask, "I did defeat that whatshisname, the Floor god."
"Yes, that," Lucy said. "Have you any idea what that entails?"
"Upsetting the lesser gods of Terra," Sunset concluded, "But what does it matter?"
"One of them was a member of the Gods of Dimensions."
". . . oh."
"'Oh' indeed, Sunny. You've fucked up. Also, I'm Lucy because I had a hunch—"
The silver bells chimed, announcing the arrival of one Princess Twilight Sparkle into The Everycraftery.
"Hey, Lucy," Twilight greeted with a chipper tone.
Lucy grunted in annoyance. "Why am I always right?"
"Aw, don't be so grumpy! I won't bother you much. Here, some of your mail got misdelivered," she said, as she gave Lucy a bunch of mails that was meant for 'Twilight Sparkle, Everycrafter of The Everycraftery'.
"Thank you, Twilight," Lucy said, taking the mails without looking at it.
Twilight cleared her throat. "Again."
"It won't happen again, Twilight."
Twilight leveled a glare. "It's the third time you've said that, Lucy."
"I'm sorry, Mom," she snapped.
Sunset cut in. "Alright, you two, cut it out. Lucy, don't antagonize your other half—"
"No."
"—And Princess, we're sorry. I'll take care of her and The Everycraftery's administrations soon."
"That's good to hear, Sunny. Alright, see you around!"
"Hope not," Lucy mumbled.
As the silver bells chimed, announcing the returned absence of lavender alicorn royalties, Sunset took a swig from her flask. "So, I'm participating in this multiversal gladiator ring because the GoD will probably destroy our reputation?"
"Yep!" Lucy said, as her expression went back into a more enthusiastic one. "We're also helping Kaspar because, apparently, there's a rumor going on that his company's trying to usurp the Council of the GoDs through the production of superior writing utensils. We're going to remove that hoax."
"And this is the right course of action because . . . ?"
"Interdimensional political reasons. Einstein said so."
Sunset raised an eyebrow. "That's convenient. And makes no sense whatsoever."
Lucy chuckled. "What fun is there in making sense?"
Sunset took a swig from her flask. "That's Discord's line."
"So?" Lucy asked as she gave Sunset the form. "It fits the context perfectly."
Sunset took the form in her hands. "It's almost like you're waiting for the opportunity."
"You have no evidence whatsoever for your claim."
Sunset nodded as she continued to read. Just as she was about to take a swig from her flask, she snapped her head to Lucy and began examining her. Really examine her. Like, psychoanalytic-levels of examination. "Lucy, have you been dating—"
"Not another word, Sunny!"
Sunset let out a hearty laugh at the adorable menacing form of the waist-high alicorn in front of her, her wings held open and her face positively, definitely, absolutely, not blushing. "My goodness, you did!"
Lucy huffed and puffed her cheeks. "What do you know?"
Sunset adjusted her glasses by the bridge, making sure the light's reflection obscured her eyes from Lucy's vision. "Everything.
"And yes, I'm blackmailing you with this."
Lucy opened her mouth to protest, but closed it just as fast. ". . . You know what? I'm actually very proud of you, Sunny."
"Stop calling me that," Sunset Sunny said.
"Suck it up, Sunny. You're going to hear it until the end of the competition."
"Elimination round: Battle Royale begins in five minutes."
Sunny stood inside a small white room. It was empty save for the door behind her, the dim ceiling lamp that served as the entire ceiling, and the rune circle on the floor, glowing soft yellow that put her at quite the blissful state. She took a swig from her flask.
"Battle begins in sixty seconds," came a stoic baritone voice from somewhere.
It reminded her of Peter, and it made her smile. Such memories never fade even after millennia.
"Battle begins in thirty seconds."
As Sunny put her flask down and strapped it tight against her belt, she felt a sudden urge to pat Sweetie Belle. She hoped she was okay; she's supposed to be taking her math exam today.
"Battle begins in ten seconds."
Sunny adjusted her glasses and breathed out. There's nothing to worry about—she's immortal, after all. And, even if she wasn't, the crew provided her and every participant with a link to a respawner. Killing others wasn't encouraged, as seen in its reduced points compared to knockouts and making Sunsets yield, but was still an option nonetheless.
The thing is, Lucy had modified her sword to keep the horrifying extent of its powers restrained, lest they wanted The Everycraftery's reputation to fall among the mortals as well. She'd need to adjust to its lowered abilities after millennia of godly sandboxing with calamities after apocalypses.
"Five . . . four. . . three . . ."
Sunny unsheathed her sword and held it vertically in both hands, its hilt hovering in front of her right shoulder. If her calculations were correct . . .
". . . Two . . . one. Begin!"
Sunny closed her eyes. As she felt the surge of teleportation magic, she didn't wait to adjust and leaned forward.
A lance of pure light shot from her right through where her head had been, missing her completely.
Pandemonium broke. Immediate screams of agony erupted as unsuspecting Sunsets failed to understand how the fight had already started the millisecond they teleported into the battlefield.
Sunny wasn't one of them, not by a cosmic margin. As she opened her eyes, she snapped her sword and pointed it to her left.
An anthropomorphic cat Sunset jumped right into her sword. Her head connected with the edge of her blade, and she was knocked down.
The overtly-anime cat girl's katana was still in momentum and swung into Sunny, but she easily sidestepped it with her own swing's momentum. And, using the same momentum, she spun her sword and brought it down to her fallen opponent.
It stopped right before it sliced her neck. The girl chuckled and purred. "Well, that sucked. I yield."
Yellow glowing runes flashed around the cat girl's form, and she vanished, teleported to the safety outside The Pandomenium of Broken Pandemonium.
Sunset pulled her sword back and swung it to where the previous lance came from, and sure enough, a charging valkyrie Sunset atop a pegasus came galloping with her spear held forward.
Sunny's swing hit the spear, knocking it to her left while the momentum brought her swiveling to the right.
The valkyrie noticed too late as Sunny doubled her swing and hit her right on the hip. She merely flinched beneath her armor as she galloped past, cursing at how she could've dodged that.
Sunny wasn't done. With a flick of her wrist, she willed the ground behind her to raise.
The ground obliged and shot upward at an angle, shooting Sunny straight into the valkyrie, her arms coiled and ready to swing. As the valkyrie turned around, Sunny could see her pinprick pupils right before she slammed the flat side of her sword into the valkyrie's somehow helmetless head, knocking her unconscious. Immediately runes glowed around her and the pegasus, and they were teleported out.
Sunny landed a few paces in front of where the valkyrie had been, right beside a Sunset in full leather and chainmail attire, wielding a longsword similar to hers save for the sharp-angled crossguard compared to her flat one. A wisp of light between them told that she had just defeated an opponent.
Both immediately took a stance. Sunny was impressed by her opponent's awkward-looking but realistic stance compared to the others' badass and flamboyant but easily exploitable ones. That's probably how she defeated the other guy before, Sunny thought.
Her opponent swung first, snapping her wrist and aiming for Sunny's neck. Sunny responded with a mirrored swing and put them in a close bind. She then gave Sunny repeated blow after parries, which Sunny found admirable for someone whose expression showed clear strain to maintain focus on her blade's motion.
Almost a split second later, her opponent broke into a triumphant grin as she managed to catch Sunny's sword between her quillon and blade. Then, with a practiced flick of her wrist, sent it flying high.
So happy was she to successfully disarm Sunny that she didn't notice said Sunny wasn't in front of her anymore and was instead standing by her side, their shoulders pressing close and their smiling cheeks nearly touching one another.
Sunny grabbed her wrist with her right hand and relished in how quickly that smile vanished. She slammed the back of her left fist into her opponent's face.
Her opponent stumbled backward a few steps, instinctively releasing her grip on her sword.
With her newly-obtained sword, Sunny closed the distance between them and put the blade into her neck. "Yield."
"I—y-yes. I yield." And so, in a flash of runes, she (and her sword) disappeared.
Just in time, too, as Sunny's sword dropped back from the sky into where she had been standing. Taking her sword back, Sunny let a moment to catch her breath and took a thorough look at her surroundings.
She was standing in a field of rolling hills. All around her, a sea of bacon-colored creatures were either slamming their melee weapons at another, hiding behind the occasional rock and taking shots from their missile weapons, or was locked in a magical duel of some sort.
It was a jumbled mess of historical, realistic, futuristic, fantastical, modern, ridiculous, serious, anime-like, Oxford-comma-inducing, and every-other-adjective-she-couldn't-think-of-at-the-moment battles. Luckily, Sunny's immediate surroundings were devoid of any.
Unluckily, that didn't mean she was in a safe place, as standing between no one was a beacon that screamed 'I'm over here!'
Sunny noticed that too late as her vision began speeding up. A split second of it made her notice, at the edge of her vision, a unicorn Chronomage casting a time spell at her. She was about to be frozen in time.
Sunny grinned.
Sunny was wielding the Sword of Power and the Glasses of Knowledge. She had infinite power and infinite knowledge. Since knowledge was power, she had double infinite power.
And power is energy divided by time.
The unicorn was trying to create a bubble around Sunny of infinite time so that all the time in the universe would go by in an instant. How much energy was she putting into her spell?
P = \frac{E}{t}\infty^2 = \frac{E}{\infty}E = \infty^2\times\infty
A lot, probably. We don't have time to do that kind of math right now, because all that concentrated energy was instantly unleashed in a destructive wave of kinetic discharge.
The audience watching outside the dome-like building that is The Pandomenium of Broken Pandemonium gaped in silent fascination as the explosion peeled away a chunk of the battlefield like dry paint, obliterating all unsuspecting Sunsets in its wake into ash.
In the middle of the silence, Lucy jumped and cheered as the name 'F202 | Professor Sunnybuns' in the leaderboard shot into first place with forty points. "Did you see that? Did you see that!? That's my Sunset! EEEEEEEEE!"
Back in The Pandomenium, Sunny blinked at the crater she was standing in.
A chunk of the battlefield was obliterated, but The Pandomenium luckily had over two hundred chunks, and thus the battle was still going on with the remaining four hundred Sunsets.
Sunny willed the ground to shoot her up, and the ground obliged.
As she landed at the edge of the crater, she sighed in relief as she saw the battle outside the explosion was still going on as if nothing had happened.
On top of a hill in the distance, Sunny saw a white paladin clad in full white-and-gold plate armor that was currently engaged in a losing battle against a dark knight almost twice his height clad in black-and-red heavy armor. The paladin was wielding a large tower shield and a mace, each made of pure Holy Light, while the dark knight was wielding a disproportionately large great ax made of pure Evil Darkness, leaving tendrils of shadows with every swing.
Seeing that no one had noticed her yet, Sunny laid low and sneaked behind the dark knight. As the dark knight made another heavy blow against the paladin's shield, sending him staggering back, Sunny took the chance to jump and landed a solid hit against her helmet with a loud metallic Clank!
Unfortunately, she didn't put enough force behind her swing to cut through her helmet and merely left a dent.
Fortunately, Sunny understood two things: one, in historical terms, swords were never built to pierce through metal plating, and two, there are a lot of ways to hurt someone inside an iron suit.
Mainly: dents.
And so, with her helmet dented deep enough to rest a cantaloupe in, the dark knight flopped into the ground, prompting runes to sprout and teleported her out.
Sunny quickly braced and waited for the weakened paladin to strike.
The strike never came. He turned his back into her and raised his shield high, blocking a plasma bolt from hitting her. He turned to her and gave a silent nod.
Sunny cocked an eyebrow but decided to go with the flow.
And so, the two of them fought back to back against Sunsets after Sunsets and was faring quite well. That is, of course, until others started noticing their cooperation and did the same.
A samurai Sunset clad in full scale-armor came rushing at them, and the paladin quickly raised his shield and bashed against her. The samurai used his shield to jump upward and landed on the other side of the duo.
Sunny quickly swung her sword before she could land, but the samurai blocked it, engaging her in a bind.
The paladin was about to help her when a unicorn blood mage from the distance began repeatedly slamming tentacles of sickly blood against his shield and magical barrier. He didn't stagger but was also too focused on countering her dark magic to do anything else.
As another heavy blow of blood tentacle hit the paladin's defenses, the blood mage screamed in a chilling guttural voice, "Yield!"
A blood tendril slipped past his defenses, shooting right at Sunny.
Sunny saw it at the edge of her vision and, while still bind with the samurai, sidestepped to the left. It hit the samurai in the shoulder, staggering her back.
Sunny took the chance to thrust her sword against the samurai's armor. It went between the metal scales and into her squishy body underneath, impaling her through and went out her backside. A glow of runes and she was out.
Sunny glanced behind her and noticed that the paladin was faring poorly against the blood mage, as there was practically a sea of blood all around them. The paladin glanced back. "Any ideas?"
Sunny was about to answer when, at the other edge of her vision, she saw a unicorn archmage in red robes galloping straight at them, her eyes wide with panic. Noticing the duo, she shot a beam of magic at them.
The shot went wide and missed them completely, sailing past the paladin's force field, straight into the blood mage's horn.
The blood mage staggered backward, and her spell sputtered for a brief second before she quickly lit it up again.
A brief second enough. Sunny swung her sword and unleashed a massive heatwave at the blood mage's direction, evaporating all the blood. The mage herself quickly raised a bubble shield, protecting her from the boiling heat.
Sunny then jumped into the paladin's shield and, with his push, shot straight into the blood mage. As the bubble went down, Sunny landed right in front of her and swung her sword, stopping it right as it touched the blood mage's horn with a soft clink.
The blood mage grumbled. "Shit. Fine, I yield."
As runes glowed and took the blood mage out, Sunny turned around to find the cause of the archmage's panic from before: she was being chased down by a Viking berserker, complete with the historically-inaccurate horned helmet and oversized greatsword.
The paladin let the archmage to duck behind him and, bracing himself, took the full blow of the Viking's charge. The paladin staggered backward at the impact while the Viking tumbled down the hill.
The archmage, finally able to turn around after being chased across the battlefield, lit her horn and shot a beam of magic at the stunned Viking before she could stand, hitting her right between the eyes and through the other side of her head.
Sunny joined the paladin and the archmage, giving them curious looks. "So, we're together now?"
The paladin shrugged. "Friendship is Magic, I guess."
The archmage nodded between her breaths. "May . . . as well . . . phew."
And thus the trio formed an unofficial team.
Which was (and is) bad in a Battle Royale, because the moment someone noticed the duo had turned into a trio was the moment everyone else did. And, as the unwritten rule of Battle Royales, absolutely everyone else joined together to fight them.
Seeing the sea of bacon hairs congregating at the distance, the paladin gave Sunny a nudge. "I think we made a mistake."
"No shit, guy."
The archmage chirped in. "I know a great coffee shop two blocks from here. Wanna hang out after we've lost?"
"Sounds good to me. My number's E022, by the way."
"I'm in. F202."
"A290."
And so the trio fought back-to-back against a wave of Sunsets, fighting the final battle before their inevitable defeat.
Against all odds, they survived.
"And we have our finalists, folks!" came the voice from everywhere. "I'm Anonymous, and I'll see all sixteen of you next week on the finals!"
The archmage flopped on her backside to the ground, while the paladin sat on the ground, dropping his mace and shield. In the far distance all around them, other finalists also flopped on their rumps.
Sunny took a long, overdue swig from her flask. "That was epic."
"Yeah," the archmage said, followed by a giggle. "Phew. How did that work?"
"Luck, most likely," answered the paladin. "But I'm betting this fighter here played a major part."
Sunny waved a hand. "Meh. My points on the leaderboard were purely dumb luck."
The archmage waved her hoof around, gaining the two's attention. "So . . . you two still in for coffee?"
"Absolutely," Sunny said as she smiled and strapped flask back. "You can call me Sunny, by the way."
"Cruz," the paladin said, taking off his helmet and shaking his shoulder-length hair, "nice to meet you."
"Magica. Meet you all in the lobby before dinner?"
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Uh, that means they never stop fading...
The question is, is her pegasus also a Sunset?
Hmm...
No.
I haven't even said anything yet.
Kind of busy holding a universe together. Also, Spirit of Harmony. I don't really do battle royales.
Scared you'll lose?
Sunnybuns has aleph-2 power. I know I'd lose.
My self-indulgence aside, fun stuff, if a significant deviation from your usual wordplay-laden shenanigans. Still an entertaining read and some nicely fast-paced action. Looking forward to more.
9820127
Thanks for the heads up!
Ah, yes, cease to fade, stop fading, never fade. That's why it sounded so wierd.
Whoops, I forgot to track this.