Take a picture. It will last you a lifetime.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 7th Sep, 2011
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
Darkevony
I've always said one thing about who I am as a person. "Eternally in pursuit of the goodness in the heart." It's what called me to the show. It's why I'm here now. And it's what I love to write about.
Darkevony
Joined 7th Sep, 2011 ·
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Seems interesting. Put on Read later list.
Also, a cute cover image.
Sweet baby Luna, this is fantastic. Thank you.
" A Picture Worth More Than A Thousand Words "
yeah, about Over 6,000 words to be exact!
That was awesome, nice story.
So sweet to see two ponies, so often subjected to the worst kind of torture, sort of finding one another.
Beautiful
sequel
1073544
Ah, well, I've been infamous in the past for being horrible in the 1st pov perspective stories. The whole "nervous kid" act wasn't something I like to do, so I made him more serious, and added a lot of tense moments because hey why not right? MOAR DRAMA=GOOD TV. But no, in all seriousness, this was as heartfelt of a story as I could get it to be. I even cried in the sad part. D:
1076142
Ah, that 'tense'. I hope it was a bit clear as to how I was going about the whole thing at the end when I have Featherweight recall all his memories. Everything even the "Scootaloo" that he kept mentioning was the "Old Scootaloo" and he was basically telling the story as it went. If some of the narrative felt stiff it was because of that fact too. And thanks :D
I liked the premise of this story.
In a way, this story reminds me of Jonathan from 'Everything Is Illuminated', the movie.
Aw poo, do I really hav to download it?????
2802201
You dun have tooooooo
As stated in other comments, there are issues in tenses and the ending is too schmaltzy for its own good, a shame considering the strength of the narrative up to that point. Overall though, this is more than enough to warrant a favorite and a like.
2808914
I'm glad you liked it, it was an old tale. A sort of idealism that I jotted down in earlier days. More for the sake of an embellished pass time. When I had finished with the story, it began to feel more than just a hobby though.
Whether it turned out to be a masterpiece of the ages or just a simple short, lost in the passage of time, it no longer matters to me. I had always been a jaded visionist back when I used to write, so whenever I would write, I wouldn't go back to fix the mistakes, to fine-tune it into perfection. At first, it had been more for the value of sentimentality. Then it transformed into a philosophy. I was happier knowing that I did mistakes.
Looking back at it now well... I'm grateful to myself for doing so. I poured heart and soul into the story, and that's just the way I want to keep it, clinks in the armor and all!
This is a cute story, though I think it needs some grammar editing.
2835788
Just check out my previous comment as a response to someone else, it explains it. :T
No-can-do. I'm retired.
Pretty sure lifetime is all one word. Spellchecker on my browser agrees with me.
This fic was so dang awesome. Besides the spelling errors, it just hit me right in the stomach. So technically the whole thing hit me right in the stomach cuz I iz a majur grammur nazi. But I digress, I kinda felt the ending was a little too... sappy... I mean I was expecting him to forget all his memories, thus placing a strain on his relationship with Scootaloo... which would now be nonexistant. It'd be sad, there'd be feels, and most importantly it would be sensical - logical - reasonable. This current ending just feels far too convenient.
It just felt so... forced? Convenient?
I don't know. I just got the impression you were rushing the ending, particularly as you left such a weak break between Scootaloo leaving and the day of the operation. This quote pretty much just sums it up:
Zoom. It was all over so fast. There was no buildup. It was just "and this is how it ends".
Bleh, enough blabbing from me. I hope I got my points across. This fic was super-well written otherwise. I loved it!
3169253
Glad you liked it.
Regarding the ending, there is a second story of mine called "Photo Album" that is a retelling of this one but in the eyes of Scootaloo. If the ending seemed vague, that might've been the reason. "Might have". In the story, it recalls the events of the previous, the somewhat thought process of Scootaloo, and the emotional strain from wanting so badly to forget him in the week after the operation. Feel free to read that one and give me your thoughts then. It'd like to hear em'.
As for my happily ever after decision, though writing gloomy stories is one of my specialities since I mostly cater towards psychological dramas, I feel that in context with the show itself and the story of this caliber (A mere one shot with a retelling), I felt like I wanted to give people the feel-good feels that I wanted for it to have.
In the end, I was not looking to improve. I could have very well gone back to fine-comb every error had I wanted to. It is, and was, my most valued work of fiction that I had the pleasure of writing on this website. Still, I do not want to change it, nor did I even back when I was still writing (retired). I see my writing mistakes and failures as my milestones in my self-improvement, and I love this story all the more for it.
Again, thank you for liking it.
Screw it. There, I went back and fixed it for the fun of it, 9 years later.