When Pinkie Pie becomes severely depressed about wanting to fly, she goes to Twilight seeking help. Twilight performs a spell that not only changes Pinkie's life but a certain rainbow pegasus as well.
Could Pinkie's new dream ruin Rainbow's existing ones?
…maybe..
Cover art by Lightning
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Very good. But get an editor to fix up some of these problems, will you? There's a good darling!
I really like the idea of the story, you just really need to take a lot time to edit and proofread, and I mean A LOT(no offence though)
For the prologue, (in my opinion) I think it's a good idea to remove everything except paragraphs 1, 2, and 3, just to give like a backround of the story, and add everything that was removed to chapter 1.
Also, there are a lot of spelling mistakes and incorrect/missing grammar.
I suggest using spell check and grammar check.
That's all I could think of for now. If you disagree with my suggestions, I totally respect your opinion, and I can't wait to read more of this!
i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w468/x_iHeartMLP_x/imagesCAJV3239.jpg
1070447
but we really don't know any editors, or very many other people here
So do you have any reccomendations for one?
Thank you
1070603 I really don't know anybody that well except BronyWriter. He is currently editing my story (not the one I currently have right now on this website, but another one), so you can ask him, I guess.
Very impresive, other then the spelling and grammer errors I'm hoping to see how this will turn out, I like this, Pinkie and Rainbow are a very awesome cule in my eyes and I' hoping to see where this goes. I'll be watching, also breif hints of SORROW! Awesome (she's the dark half of Pinkie Pie and second in command of the Dark Elements, aso known as Disharmony)
Sorry for the short chapter
-Facehoof- Longer chapters soon PROMISE!
Lightning~
Ha, Pinkie just disappered.Damn, wonder if Dash will not kill Twilight as promised? Pinkie never seems to take much seriously and sometimes it could get annoying....this is going to be fun.
1081119
Bahaha, Soon enough. I would say different but Its wild wings' turn next. shes writing chapter 3. so i honestly don't now what shes planning until i proofread.
~Lightning
1082509>>1082509 Hehehehe*evil smile* Y'all will have to wait and see...
~Wild
so fast paced....
Slow down, for Celestia's sake! It's nothing but talk. And there are some errors. Actually a lot. I suggest you look this over and add more fat to it.
1084152
Well in my eyes there's nothing wrong with it, THAT^^ is just your opinion.
I read what you have so far, and I like it. A few parts seemed a little jumbled and difficult to understand, but I think i only ran across two sentences that were like that in what you have so far. The only other problems were minor spelling and grammatical errors, but those could be easily fixed. All in all though, good job, keep it up!
1086863
...
Just.... nevermind. e.deviantart.com/emoticons/moods/sadness.gif
I like this one, but I felt as if Rainbow let Pinkie and Twilight off a little to easy, it just does not seem like her.....and I'm glad to know a bit about Applejack's mother, it's a very impressive concept, please write more. Poor Pinkie.
1090180
Thank you!
1094815
We only made that happen because she was pissed, and it barely sunk in that she wasn't going to be able to fly any more, Dont worry. shes going to be a bitch soon.
1094840 Works perfectly for me.
1094852
Sorry, chapter four is running VERYVERYVERRRY late...
Jesus, man. That cliffhanger. When I was reading it, it was like having heartwarming, happy background music playing, like everything's going to be okay. And then, during the last sentence, it immediately jolts into a LOST violin screech.
Welp, time to start tracking this, then.
1185510
This comment made me laugh, i knew that last sentence would grab somebody. Glad you liked it!
~Lightning
1185517
I think that worked as intended.
Because "Dun-dun-dun!"
1187671
Thanks! glad you liked it!
Hey Crazy!
So, anyways, I really like your story 
1204731
Thanks!
Its really good.......I'm serious
1211455
we actually share an account and we take turns writing each chapter. 
.
Haha, thank you!
Whats it like to have lots of fans for your book? I only got one book, just published it, and I gotta wait 23 minutes...I'm getting antsy! Oh and Crazy? Why aren't you on Warrior Cats RPG anymore? We all miss you
1214241
and you just published a story?
ill give it a read!
Well we don't have a lot of fans but its nice
and whats warrior cats rpg?
lol nevermind xD
1218043
Alrighty then.
I think its amazing! or, at least the concept is. But it moves a tad to quick, her getting the wings, just like that *snaps fingers* aside from that...
It was good, but I would have imagined Rainbow being a lot angrier, instead of sobbing. and totally being FURIOUS
at Twilight
CLIFFHANGERS!!!!! They make me so
and 
and 
I love angry dash! I want to see more of that!
IMPORTANT PLEASE READ
if you enjoy reading this story,it will not be continued on this account. The account this story is on is my old one and for some reason it locked me out....i dont know. SO....it'll be updated on 'kathole23' very soon.
Damn, that's a really tragic moment for Dash....wow, I can understand her anger at Twi though, I think personally the think about the Elements of Harmony jewels is the fact that the ponies don't have that much of a choice when it comes to being their element, tragic...still. At any rate, poor Dash can never get a break, how will Twi fix this and what's wrong with Pinkie? Sorry, been so long since I read this.