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  • E Princess Celestia Hates Tea

    Seriously, a lot.
    8,536 words · 39,499 views  ·  3,651  ·  54
  • E Sun Princess

    In the final days of her life, an exceptionally faithful student muses on the subject of her perfect and immortal mentor Applejack.
    1,709 words · 14,294 views  ·  2,157  ·  29
  • E Martial Bliss

    Shining Armor learns the most important tactical lesson of his life.
    1,514 words · 16,492 views  ·  2,030  ·  27
  • E How to Remove a Unicorn Tooth

    Three missing pieces, two loving alicorns, and a single stupid decision that will set young Princess Cadence on a fresh new course.
    11,618 words · 13,084 views  ·  1,071  ·  12
  • E Derplicity

    Derpy Hooves is secretly a changeling. Nopony particularly notices, or cares.
    7,984 words · 21,346 views  ·  2,440  ·  35
  • E Infernal Machines

    The touching tale of a pony and her pet mechanical salamander.
    8,113 words · 7,111 views  ·  563  ·  5
  • E Lady Prismia and the Princess-Goddess

    Filly Cadence turns her first heart.
    10,724 words · 4,642 views  ·  475  ·  4
  • E In the Bleak Midwinter

    In which Cadance I of the Restored Empire is given a very unusual Hearth's Warming gift.
    4,452 words · 3,094 views  ·  403  ·  3

Blog Posts106

  • Wednesday
    Feeling Bad About Feeling Good

    (Sorry about the doublepost.  Accidentally published too early, and I didn't want comments coming in on the incomplete version before I had a chance to explain myself...)

    So.  Just watched "Rainbow Rocks" again.

    I actually really like this movie, and it makes me sad, because I keep on imagining what Ms. Faust must think of it, and what she would think of me, by proxy.

    This is nothing new to me, of course, speaking as a Cadance fan.  It's well-known public record by now that the show's original developer never wanted more than two alicorns, and yet, here I am, devoting most of my creative energies in this fandom to the once-controversial third alicorn.  (Is Cadance drama even a thing anymore?)  When pressed on this topic, I will always fall back on the following conclusion:  Cadance is a Bad Thing, and we are making the most of it.

    If I am being brutally honest with myself, however, I realize that I am saying this because I have the specter of a disapproving Lauren Faust watching me over my shoulder.  I like alicorns.  I like to have a selection of alicorns.  I like that there's a younger alicorn.  I like that I do not have to choose between "godlike, regal, and canon-perfect" and "struggles with inner darkness."  I like everything about the fact of Cadance...

    ...except for the fact that I feel like I'm stepping on someone's childhood imaginings by doing so.  Pity the professional artist, who frequently has to sell control of her childhood friends to a corporation who never knew them, and who will take them places you never wanted them to go.  Craig McCracken, Ms. Faust's husband, as much as confirmed that "Equestria Girls" was contrary to her original vision.  And I can see why, of course.

    The original Equestria Girls was very much an honest "making the most of a Bad Thing" period for me.  That movie was a bit of a mess; I enjoyed bits of it and did not criticize it too harshly.  The fans and creators were both dealt a bad hand by management, and I liked the idea of us all sort of enduring it together.  But now we have a sequel, and while rough edges still exist, on the whole, it's a much more satisfying film experience.

    Nothing about it being a satisfying film experience changes the fact that it's never going to be the direction this show, this franchise, was intended to go.

    My entirely non-scientific surveys of the Ponynet suggest that people are generally pleased with "Rainbow Rocks."  I am... disheartened by the people who are unquenchably angry about the whole thing, the ones that point and say, functionally, Skywriter, you are the problem.  That you continue to consume this media spits on the thing Lauren Faust was trying to do with this show.  You, Skywriter, have participated in muddying this from something great into something merely okay.  One in particular has exhorted the general public as follows:  "Don't you dare forget what could have been!"

    I wonder what this hypothetical show looks like in that fan's imaginings.

    I wonder if I would like it as much as I like the show I'm currently watching.

    I wonder if I am a worse person for liking what "could have been" greater.

    I wonder if it's even true that it "could have been" greater at all.

    I wonder what Lauren Faust thinks of me.

    Ms. Faust, there is no chance that you are reading this, so I say this purely for myself:  I actually like what they did with the characters you thought of first this time, and I'm sorry if anything has been diminished because of what I do or don't like.

    It's the best I can do.

    Final non sequitur:  Why haven't I seen any crackfic stories where Cadance is actually the fourth siren of the coven, the only one redeemable by Star Swirl?  Get on it, fandom!

    51 comments · 467 views
  • 4w, 3d
    "Rainbow Rocks" (flagrant, persistent spoilers throughout, obvs.)

    Welcome to another edition of "Because You All Perforce Must Care What I Think."  Let's make this short and sweet, shall we, getting the unpleasant bits out of the way first.

    Category A:  Things That There Was Never Any Hope For Improvement On

    1.  Human character designs still not doing it for me.  No amount of time and effort will make our girls not look like somewhat sexualized and rainbow-hued versions of Mr. ZIP what with the huge heads and stick bodies and all.

    2.  Still no substitute for actual pony film.  Actual pony screen-time even lower than last time around.

    3.  All protagonists are suddenly skilled musicians, when canonically only Pinkie, Fluttershy (maybe?) and A.J. have even been shown handling an instrument.  And Twilight is appropriately lampshaded in the narrative, so I guess I'm only questioning Dash and Rarity?  I dunno.  Let's move on.

    Category B:  Things Actually Worse Than Last Film

    1.  Vinyl Scratch.  I am absolutely great with fandom nods.  No allergy whatsoever to seeing Octavia, Snowflake Bulk Biceps, and lots and lots of Trixie.  Welcomed.  But basic storytelling dictates that you cannot have a functionally nameless character pull not one but two eleventh-hour saves without seeding the plot properly first.  Story structure demands that the protective qualities of her omnipresent headphones be hinted at before they are used to save our heroes' bacon (something so simple as including a version of the the disapproving Celestia / Vinyl interaction we saw in the "Music to My Ears" short would have been absolutely sufficient) and the Bass Cannon Sedan needs to have been at least established (if not fully revealed) prior to its use as a problem-solver.  When you count on an audience's in-joke knowledge and delight over a character to fill in the cracks of a story, that is when your fandom nod has crossed the line.  Furthermore, I can't tell if the creators are putting her forward as a strong-silent master of her craft or actually envision her as the same loudmouthed Bohemian that the fans see and are merely having her stay mute to appease the "Nowacking or Nothing" crowd.  I wish they would just pick one, because the more the plot actually hinges on her the more distracting her silence becomes.  Thank goodness they actually had Octavia speak a line.

    2.  No Candybutt, not even in cameo.  This is not a fault in the story as such, I'm just (predictably) disappointed and furthermore holistically trepid that my functional OC will continue to fade into the background as Twilight becomes more and more Cadanceified.  She's got wings now, is a princess, and lives in a crystal castle.  All she needs is a coat of pink paint and to get married, and the narrative will have no use for dear sweet Candybutt whatsoever.

    Category C:  Things Better Than Last Film

    1-n.  Virtually everything else.  The scene compositions were more visually adventurous and intriguing, the villains had a plot which made some damn sense this time, the songs are marginally superior, plot points are followed through on and not just mentioned and dropped, and the whole thing seems to have been stitched together with a lot of love and affection for the property.  And Sunset Shimmer is handled exactly the way I wanted her to be handled.  The scene where she once again attempts bad-girl intimidation in the darkened hallway only to have it fizzle this time is just splendid, and I for one gratefully welcome Sunny as the unexplained sixth peripheral star in "Magical Mystery Cure."

    That is all.  Thoughts?

    54 comments · 651 views
  • 5w, 5d
    "Cadance of Cloudsdale," the... official soundtrack?!

    I am... a tad gobsmacked but nonetheless unquestionably overjoyed to report that via the generosity and talent of esteemed pony musician Night Breeze/Wind Wolf and my good friend S.R. Foxley, "Cadance of Cloudsdale" has an upcoming song cycle dedicated to it!  So exite!  Very yes!

    Check out the first track, "Reduit," below.  Thanks, you two.  You helped make my day.

    21 comments · 314 views
  • 6w, 3d
    "Princess Celestia Hates Tea," thoughts on a sequel.

    No secret whatsoever:  the number one reason people hate this story is the flippin' ending.

    It's not the number one reason I hate this story, but it's certainly up there.  Those of you who have gone on to read "A Short Story by Twilight Sparkle" have doubtless perceived the autobiographical inspiration in Twilight's experience, particularly this part:

    ...the whole ending felt shockingly rushed and weak, because, frankly, I was so darn tired of writing it by that point I couldn't see straight. I had testily sworn to myself that I would not endure another morning with that stupid "Tea" story hanging over my head...

    ...which is, of course, all true of me.  That said, it's not like another day of writing it would have "fixed" the ending, either.  It's been like two years now (insert shocked-dismay emoticon) and I have yet to come up with a "better" ending that feels right.

    So.  Message received, from like hundreds of you.  You hate the ending.  I get it.  I hate it too.  It's too late to edit the original story, but if it had a sequel, what do you most want to see in it?  What, specifically, chafes your gizzard about how this story closes?  The general lack of all-around happy?  That Twilight doesn't get her just desserts for an entire evening of torturing Celestia with the memory spell?  That, in a world where you can literally turn birds into oranges, that some kind of solution wasn't forced using unicorn magic?  What?

    Please note that the characters will remain kind of panicky and stupid, so if the fact that the characters are panicky and stupid is your major beef, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to accommodate a fix of that nature.

    103 comments · 811 views
  • 7w, 6d
    "Cadance of Cloudsdale" gets another addition...

    In a short story done for a fic competition!  It was written by Eakin, a master of arts; his story "Hard Reset" is top of the charts.  This one is does not deal with time loops and despair, but rather a fortress and the Sisterhood there.  I'm so glad to see another tale told of our Pretty Pink Princess when she was just a foal.  It's really good work--if I haven't been clear--and I recommend checking it out over here.

    (If you are concerned why I'm talking this way, it's apparently "Type Like Zecora Day."  I find my Zecora-style writing quite dismal on account of my rhymes being hella abysmal.)

    18 comments · 364 views
  • ...
 435
 17,901

Twilight Sparkle flagrantly abuses her Come-To-Life spell, and learns a little bit about love in the process.  Also, puns.

First Published
10th Aug 2012
Last Modified
10th Aug 2012
#1 · 115w, 6d ago · 3 · · Part Two ·

Okay, commence DAFUQing, but before you do, let me just say a quick word of thanks to S.R. Foxley for the beta on this one.  Given the actual end product, you may not believe this, but his influence markedly improved the final piece.

#2 · 115w, 5d ago · 31 · · Part One ·

Oh my god. Was this entire thing a set up for that last sentence?

If so, it was god damn beautiful.

#3 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Awesome. Everything is better with a few puns.

#4 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

PFFFFT. Gonna need help. Think I got a concussion from a truly epic face palm.

I am so very impressed.

#5 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Now that's a truly random story. Good work!

#6 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Ow, the puns! :rainbowlaugh:

Excellent example of well-done random humor, and punnery. And yes... that last line was a punch right into my sense of humor. :pinkiehappy:

#7 · 115w, 5d ago · 4 · · Part One ·

So much pun. And win. But more pun I think.

I hope that in chapter two Twilight actually tries to change the table into a pony. Here, have my thumb and fav. You deserve it :moustache:

#8 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Okay, why in the hay does this have 2 parts? Coudln't this have been wrapped up in one? You gave me false hope you monster! :raritycry::raritydespair:

#9 · 115w, 5d ago · 3 · · Part One ·

:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:

#13 · 115w, 5d ago · 4 · · Part Two ·

There is something seriously wrong with you... And unfortunately, it's probably contagious, because I did laugh surprisingly hard.

#14 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Absolutely wonderful! I haven't genuinely laughed at something like that in so long! :rainbowlaugh:

#15 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Literally made me giggle in the office. Deeply amusing.

#16 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Oh good. Even if the Failsafe had worked, the drum kit probably would've spontaneously reanimated just to get in that last rimshot.

#17 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

Argh awww aggh that was an awful pun.

Still a funny story if only because of how ridiculous it was, but still.

#18 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

dat last sentence...

PURE GENIUS!!:derpytongue2: Awesome work, dude.


#19 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

...Infinite slowclaps.

That was fantastic. Puns, puns everywhere! And the characters were amazingly funny!

You know how you know comedy is perfect? When the non-funny parts are good, too. I loved your statements on shipping, on romance, and on relationships. It was easy to forget, for a moment, that the lovestruck paramour of Twilight was a nightstand.

Oh, and that drumset was amazing. Perfect delivery. :pinkiehappy:

#20 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Unicorn magic is weird...

But puns are awesome!

#21 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

>>1061429

Same boat here. hehe. :raritywink:

#22 · 115w, 5d ago · 1 · · Part One ·

Oh jeeze, I laughed on for half a minute there. That pun . :twilightblush:

Great stuff.

#23 · 115w, 5d ago · 1 · · Part One ·

"Twilight Sparkle Gets Intimate With Her Table, Part One"

Yep, this is gonna be good.

After reading: Aww, that was adorable and beautiful yet tragic. The age old tale of impossible love. Well done.

Edit 2: I just got the pun. Did you base the entire story off of that?

#24 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

:rainbowlaugh:

I wish I had read this while my wife was out or busy or something, and not asleep. I would've howled at this!

Very well-done!!

#25 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

congrats, you've beaten the final level of fimfiction

please take this badge and complimentary mimosa

#26 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

That is by far one of the best puns I have ever seen. The buildup is probably what made it.

#27 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

beautiful. The pun was just the icing on the cake.

#28 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Oh, you. :raritywink:

Even with the terrible puns, this was actually a very enjoyable story. Not a bad way to waste a few minutes. :twilightsmile:

#30 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

I think I just read genius.

#31 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

:rainbowlaugh:The whole thing was awesome but that ending? I almost keeled over when i saw it :pinkiehappy:

#32 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

I have to say that the entire story to set up that ONE line was probably the best thing I have read in a long while. I envy your skill!

#33 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

Much DAFUQing was done, and I loved every moment of it. All that for one pun. ONE PUN!

#34 · 115w, 5d ago · 5 · · Part One ·

I wish to headdesk, but now I'm worried it might get the wrong idea :fluttercry:

#35 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

"You are no longer just a cabinet!  You are now Shining Armoire , captain of my Royal Guard!"

arent that suposed to be shining Armor?

Edit: forget it i realised the pun when we get to nightlight sparke.

#36 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

You know how in Anime, when something just asinine happens everyone falls over in unison? Yeah.  That was me at the end.  If it was all a set up to make that one joke, you have an amazing sense of humor.  And a patient one at that.

#37 · 115w, 5d ago · 3 · · Part Two ·

Yes. Well.

...it was Pinkie's I suppose.

#38 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

All my win are belong to you

#39 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

If you hear something strange it might just be me, four paragraphs in, madly clicking the Like and Favourite buttons.

#40 · 115w, 5d ago · 2 · · Part One ·

OH MY GOD

I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS MUCH OUT LOUD IRL AT A FIC I'VE READ

#41 · 115w, 5d ago · 1 · · Part Two ·

>>1061377

Sounds good to me, 'cuz whatever's wrong with Skywriter, I want it too.

#42 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

omg...this is the most hilarious thing i've read in quite a while. I read a lot too........:rainbowlaugh::twilightsmile:

#43 · 115w, 5d ago · 3 · · Part One ·

>>1061833 What? Did you get the Princess Mi Amore Credenza part? Because that too was the work of a mastermind. Many lolz were had in the reading of this fic.

#44 · 115w, 5d ago · 2 · · Part One ·

Get thee to a punnery!  

Seriously, now I have a strange urge to play Nord And Bert Couldn't Make Head Or Tail Of It.

#45 · 115w, 5d ago · 1 · · Part One ·

That pun... it hurts! It hurts in the most beautiful way ever! :facehoof::moustache::trollestia:

#47 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part Two ·

You're probably going to hate me for this, but... what's the ending joke?? :twilightoops:

#48 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

THAT. WAS. HILARIOUS. :rainbowlaugh: *applause*

#49 · 115w, 5d ago · · · Part One ·

Oh my god... After realising the last sentence I had to drink something D:

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