Okay, commence DAFUQing, but before you do, let me just say a quick word of thanks to S.R. Foxley for the beta on this one.  Given the actual end product, you may not believe this, but his influence markedly improved the final piece.

Oh my god. Was this entire thing a set up for that last sentence?

If so, it was god damn beautiful.

Awesome. Everything is better with a few puns.

PFFFFT. Gonna need help. Think I got a concussion from a truly epic face palm.

I am so very impressed.

Now that's a truly random story. Good work!

Ow, the puns!

Excellent example of well-done random humor, and punnery. And yes... that last line was a punch right into my sense of humor.

So much pun. And win. But more pun I think.

I hope that in chapter two Twilight actually tries to change the table into a pony. Here, have my thumb and fav. You deserve it

Okay, why in the hay does this have 2 parts? Coudln't this have been wrapped up in one? You gave me false hope you monster!

That was Brilliant!

Image: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR5qWJbx3k5lGBgF7w7ESpra81I3Zd5j5t6vd9nX0t0v3MLbMh8XVHhsnjA

There is something seriously wrong with you... And unfortunately, it's probably contagious, because I did laugh surprisingly hard.

Absolutely wonderful! I haven't genuinely laughed at something like that in so long!

Literally made me giggle in the office. Deeply amusing.

Oh good. Even if the Failsafe had worked, the drum kit probably would've spontaneously reanimated just to get in that last rimshot.

Argh awww aggh that was an awful pun.

Still a funny story if only because of how ridiculous it was, but still.

dat last sentence...

PURE GENIUS!! Awesome work, dude.

...Infinite slowclaps.

That was fantastic. Puns, puns everywhere! And the characters were amazingly funny!

You know how you know comedy is perfect? When the non-funny parts are good, too. I loved your statements on shipping, on romance, and on relationships. It was easy to forget, for a moment, that the lovestruck paramour of Twilight was a nightstand.

Oh, and that drumset was amazing. Perfect delivery.

Unicorn magic is weird...

But puns are awesome!

>>10614291061429

Same boat here. hehe.

Oh jeeze, I laughed on for half a minute there. That pun .

Great stuff.

"Twilight Sparkle Gets Intimate With Her Table, Part One"

Yep, this is gonna be good.

After reading: Aww, that was adorable and beautiful yet tragic. The age old tale of impossible love. Well done.

Edit 2: I just got the pun. Did you base the entire story off of that?

I wish I had read this while my wife was out or busy or something, and not asleep. I would've howled at this!

Very well-done!!

congrats, you've beaten the final level of fimfiction

please take this badge and complimentary mimosa

That is by far one of the best puns I have ever seen. The buildup is probably what made it.

beautiful. The pun was just the icing on the cake.

Oh, you.

Even with the terrible puns, this was actually a very enjoyable story. Not a bad way to waste a few minutes.

I think I just read genius.

The whole thing was awesome but that ending? I almost keeled over when i saw it

I have to say that the entire story to set up that ONE line was probably the best thing I have read in a long while. I envy your skill!

Much DAFUQing was done, and I loved every moment of it. All that for one pun. ONE PUN!

I wish to headdesk, but now I'm worried it might get the wrong idea

"You are no longer just a cabinet!  You are now Shining Armoire , captain of my Royal Guard!"

arent that suposed to be shining Armor?

Edit: forget it i realised the pun when we get to nightlight sparke.

You know how in Anime, when something just asinine happens everyone falls over in unison? Yeah.  That was me at the end.  If it was all a set up to make that one joke, you have an amazing sense of humor.  And a patient one at that.

Yes. Well.

...it was Pinkie's I suppose.

All my win are belong to you

If you hear something strange it might just be me, four paragraphs in, madly clicking the Like and Favourite buttons.

OH MY GOD

I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS MUCH OUT LOUD IRL AT A FIC I'VE READ

>>10613771061377

Sounds good to me, 'cuz whatever's wrong with Skywriter, I want it too.

omg...this is the most hilarious thing i've read in quite a while. I read a lot too........

>>10618331061833 What? Did you get the Princess Mi Amore Credenza part? Because that too was the work of a mastermind. Many lolz were had in the reading of this fic.

Get thee to a punnery!  

Seriously, now I have a strange urge to play Nord And Bert Couldn't Make Head Or Tail Of It.

That pun... it hurts! It hurts in the most beautiful way ever!

You're probably going to hate me for this, but... what's the ending joke??

THAT. WAS. HILARIOUS. *applause*

Oh my god... After realising the last sentence I had to drink something D:

By far one of the best short stories I've read in a while crazy just for the sake of being crazy. No over exuberant randomness for the sake of randomness, no pinkie pie bending the laws of physics, just Twilight having one of her epic level mental breakdowns.

>>10619751061975

Image: http://brutallegendss.webs.com/photos/Legenday-Brutal-Pics/Brutal_Facepalm_by_Xanokah.jpg

>>10619161061916 no i actualy read it as "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza" how did i not notice that...

That last line!!!

Image: http://philosophistry.com/archives/scans/2010/lol-face.jpg

Well played sir.  Well played!

ARG! THE PUNS! THEY BURN!

Arrrrgh!!! Keep firing!! Direct hit, Captain! She's goin down!  

Ferdinand Feghoot would be proud.  

So, I finished reading the story, and when I got about halfway through the comments, I finally realized what the last line meant, and I laughed for a minute straight.

Applause, applause.

   Still Clapping,

                 ~Plyxe

The puns were terrible, and terribly well placed.

As for the sadness of losing Nightstand... well, she can always re-cast it on just Nightstand, right?

And maybe a transmogrification spell?

After all, if you're determined enough, she could easily make it work...

I don't ge-

Oh.

ARGH THE PUN

>>10619751061975

"Just a one nightstand"

"Just a one-night stand"

>>10622481062248 OOOH, so the phrase "one night stand" has two meanings? I did not know that, now I see...

Ha, wow, I actually laughed at this fic.  More than once.  It was funny, yet uh ... engaging.

I'd kinda like to see more development of these romances.

Hey, if the armoire and the nightlight get together, would it be -- inchest?  

Eh?  Eh?

>>10622911062291

Oh my god no.

That's bad! You're bad, and you should feel bad!

OMG... entirely set up for that last pun..  BRAVO!

This. All of this. It's brilliance.

You took various questionable things someone could do in writing a piece of fiction (excessive puns, awkward themes, single scene story line) and made it into a clever and funny little event with surprisingly deep aspects regarding love.  I never would have seen anything like this coming.  I mean really, Twiluny trying to force romantic tension on sentient furniture only to end up sleeping with her night stand?!  And the fact that it's actually enjoyably written makes it all the more baffling!  I'm going to have to keep an eye on you.

This was absolutely terrific, but my favorite part was the series of furniture-pony name puns.  Did you deliberately search for furniture to fit the names of the cast properly or did the right links just pop into your head automatically like Venus from the sea foam?

A beautiful, hilarious piece, in the top ten of comedic fics I've ever read in my whole gosh-darn life.

TURBOPUNS

So.

Beautifully.

Puntastic.

I admit that I gigglegroaned when I read the last line...

I kept expecting Chairilee to show up and give her a lecture.

And where was Nightlight's #1 assistant, Spork, forever longing after their mutual friend, the beautiful and elegant Vanity?

The drumset must be Pinkies.

It's amazing how funny a story can be if it's all just meant to set up a really lame pun.

The puns were beautiful, especially the very last one. Did you write the entire story just so you could make that joke? Because it was gold. Absolutely perfect, and had me in stitches. Great job on this

That was simply the most delightful aneurysm I've ever had! Bravo!

Puns....furniture puns. I don't usually laugh out loud when I read a story, but when I do, it's because it has furniture puns....Brilliant I say. And dat ending....

Sweet princess Celestia, I think I have been serously overpunned. And I mean that in a good way

Totally enjoyed reading this. Bravo!

*ahem*

Image: http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/213/8/f/yeeeeeeaaaaahhhh____by_jewlecho-d59diix.png

Bravo, Skywriter!  The edits you made really pull this together and make it pop, eh!

The two princesses walked in.  Or, at least, a radiant white princess and some giant rust-red ball of fur wearing Luna's crown.  Here it was: the lecture.

"Celestia!  I'm so sorry," Twilight cringed.  "And ... er ..." She stared at the four-legged dust trap.  "What is that, I don't even."

A canine muzzle peeked through the layers of thick fur.  "We are not amused, Twilight Sparkle."

Celestia's helpful attempt to look stern wasn't even in the same room as sincere.

"Okay ... perhaps with the benefit of hindsight we shall find this amusing," Luna allowed.  

"But you still ought to be more careful," Celestia added, finally managing a mild maternalism.

"Or at least target her next time," Luna muttered under her breath.

"Wait, what do you mean?  Did I do that?"  Twilight cast frantically through her memory.  There were the wards, and the Bring-To-Life spells ... but to turn Luna into some sort of ... wolf-thing ...?

Celestia coughed and discreetly hornpointed at the lush, imported sofa Twilight had animated the previous night.  There, draped over the arm, was the Easily Forgettable Pun-Based Magical Feedback Device that Celestia had predictably forgotten after her visit last week.*  

"Oh."  Twilight gave the princesses her best sheepish look.  That explained it.

Wait.  No it didn't.  "Er ... I don't get it.  Why is Luna a shaggy dog?"

Luna sighed and shook her head, then removed the feedback device from the Irish settee.

* Only eight bits!  Available now from MacGuffin industries.

My god.... it's full of puns.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png

I...am not entirely sure what just happened.

lol that was funy almost died

I now have a semi-permanent red spot on my forehead from headdesking from all these puns.

Like, favorite, and watch!

The story is so amazing!

Haven't read that many puns in one story ever before! This deserves all of the applauses.

Buck the read am I whatting? o.O

"And what's up with you hanging lamps?" she cried.  "You're supposed to be swinging!"

"We've decided that we prefer monogamy," said a hanging lamp.  Somewhere in the darkness, there came the noise of a rhythm hit on a trap-set.

Twilight frowned, then waded through the sea of furniture until she found the drum kit she'd taken from Pinkie Pie.  "No," she said to it, sternly.

"Sorry," muttered the drum kit.

This would be the point at which I completely lost my shit.

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw473_hophappyhop.gif

Oh my god, that was just... it was... I have no words....

Damn you!

How I feel Outside

Image: http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/12/4/9880a7c1-619d-439f-aa76-242a4818b131.jpg

How I feel Inside

Image: http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/e79/3f8/c2c/resized/pinkie-pie-smile-meme-generator-it-s-it-sss-beautiful-bb1e43.jpg

*reads last line*

*groans out loud wholeheartedly *

That was a terrible, terrible pun, and you should ashamed of yourself, and it completely wasn't in the top three best-executed pony-fic-sets-up-for-glorious-final-pun I have ever seen in my entire existance, nor are you rapidly becoming one of my favourite pony fanfic authors or all time! Now, as punishment for this heinous crime, you must go and write some more stories just like this (or do a new chapter on Contraptionology) and...wait, what, there's another chapter?

Right, nevermind, carry on, that mare, uh, man!

No seriously, that was an appalling brilliant pun and I am totally going to find a way to get that into one of our local pantomimes one day.

...

Good god, that is the single most amazing thing I have ever written. Screw sandwiches, this is my new bible!

...

Or something to that effect.

...Uhh...

<Insert wacky and entertaining pun here>

*reads last line*

*applies sun glasses*

AWWW YEAHH!!!!

And this my little ponys is how you write "Random".

Truly a masterpiece for the ages, and the comments were close by.

Oh, Twilight, so punny at times.

Great story.

>>10622911062291

Here is your win, sir.

Oh dear god. You wrote that entire bucking story just for the last sentence, didn't you?

Oh my God. You made a pun. It is that special kind of pun that makes me want to so hard that my glasses fly off. And it is glorious.

I believe this is something called a shaggy dog story, yes?

What.

Just.

Happened.

That was amazing!