FlutterYou

by Capulus

Chapter 2 - Finally Out. (New)

You spend the next few days coming in and out of consciousness, conversing with Fluttershy whenever you do. Every time you wake up, you curse the heart monitor and it’s incessant beeping whenever you see her. It gets in the way of your talks, and Celestia knows it is hard enough to hear Fluttershy’s quiet voice. You swear it is out to get you. But Fluttershy doesn’t seem to notice. You and Fluttershy eventually become very close friends. On your final day in the hospital you wake up and see a rare sight. Fluttershy is asleep on the couch that rests up against the wall. You sit for a few seconds and take her in. You are always afraid to do this when she is awake, as she might find it awkward if you just sat and stared at her. She is definitely the most beautiful mare you have ever seen, and... Well, you have seen quite a few mares in your adult life --nudge nudge wink wink--. But this one was different. She was so beautiful. Her coat was such a light shade of yellow, her mane was beautiful and silky. Well, you imagined it was silky. You hadn’t exactly reached out and touched it. Her eyes were soft, and they were a pretty light blue. She was so quiet, and her voice was so sweet. She was so kind, and you had been amazed when you found out she was able to face down Cockatrices, Manticores, and Dragons with relative ease. You knew she wouldn’t lie. Fluttershy didn’t seem the type. And, when her friends had come to visit you --as they had rationalised, a friend of Fluttershy was a friend of theirs-- they had confirmed that it was all true. The unicorn Twilight Sparkle had also said that Fluttershy found it hard to trust new ponies, and so she must see something special in you. And she was always willing to just sit and listen when you talked about your own life. Then she stirs, and you realise how fast the heart monitor is beeping. Why is it always doing that? You wonder. Fluttershy walks over to the bed and smiles warmly.
“How are you feeling?”
“It hurts a little bit still...”
“The doctors said it might be a little while before you can walk by yourself.”
“Ah, it’s okay. So, what have they stuck me with? Crutches, or a wheelchair?”
“Crutches. But, if it would be easier, you might be able get a wheelchair. I suggested the crutches... Sorry...”
“Fluttershy... Don’t be. I hate wheelchairs. Thank you for getting me something that I can properly control.” Fluttershy smiles, and the beeping speeds up yet again. If Fluttershy hadn’t of been in the room you probably would have throttled the machine and smashed it. But Fluttershy had a strange way of making you feel calm whenever she was in the room. You take a deep breath. The beeping slows, and as it does, the doctor walks in, a warm smile on his face. He trots to the bed, grinning, and you realise what this means.
“Am I finally being checked out?”
“Why, yes!”
“Thank Celestia. This place, no offense, has such a sense of tedium about it. If Fluttershy wasn’t here I would have died of boredom ages ago. Now I just need to find a motel or an inn or something to stay in.” Fluttershy surprises you when she cuts in, her soft, quiet voice making it all the more noticeable.
“Umm, why don’t you stay with me? I wouldn’t mind... I just don’t really want a friend to be staying in a motel... But... You can, if you want to...” She hides her face and the little of it that you can see goes red. You smile and answer;
“Of course I’ll stay with you. Fluttershy I would be only too happy to stay with one of my best friends!”
Fluttershy blushes as you say this, and when the beeping speeds up again, you tear of the thing monitoring your heartbeat off of your hoof and toss it away. The machine shuts off, and you are relieved not to be hearing the stupid sound for the first time in days. You try to get off the bed but when you feel the familiar pain on your leg you quickly move back and lie down again before it gets too bad. The doctor chuckles quietly and says;
“I’ll go and get your crutches. Fluttershy, could you please help him out of bed?”
“Of course...”

The doctor walks out and Fluttershy offers you a hoof, which you gratefully take. It is the first time you have actually touched her, other than the first day you woke up. But that doesn’t count, as you were too out of it to really notice. Her coat is as soft as you thought. She slowly helps you get up. You wince at the pain in your chest as you straighten up. When you are up, she lets you lean on her to get to the couch. The close quarters with Fluttershy makes you feel so comfortable. She smells so nice, and her mane is as silky as you thought. You eventually get to the couch, where you slowly sit down. Luckily, the puncture and break was in one of your forehooves, so you can sit down with relative ease. But you are reminded of your other injuries when you go to lean back. All of your weight is pushed against your injured wing, and you yelp in surprise. Fluttershy squeals and jumps back.
“Sorry, Fluttershy. I forgot my wing is hurt too. Sorry...” She shakes her mane away from her face and smiles apologetically.
“It’s okay...” She says quietly. The doctor walks in carrying the crutches and gives them to you. They are awkward looking things, but you don’t want to hurt Fluttershy’s feelings. You would have preferred a wheelchair, in all honesty, but Fluttershy had looked so down, you had taken the crutches to cheer her up. You loved seeing her smile. Which was strange, as normally you wouldn’t really care. But, then again, she was your friend now. You never really had time for friends. Just your co-workers in the weather patrol. Luckily Rainbow Dash had a lot of pull with the weather patrol, and was able to get you some paid sick leave. You struggle for a few embarrassing moments but then you manage to slide the crutches on. The doctor grins and says;
“Now, Fluttershy, you need to replace the bandages once every day, if he is going to be living with you. Do it after he bathes, alright?”
Fluttershy nods and says;
“Of course doctor.” You feel a bit left out and say;
“Anything I should do, Doc?”
“Just try to stay off it, and try some excersises once you feel well enough. And nothing too strenuous. We can’t have you taking place in the Running Of The Leaves, can we? Just try walking a few steps, and once the bone has healed, just take it slowly, and try some stretches. Your muscles will be a bit stiff, I’m guessing. But Fluttershy will be able to help with that. But not right away, of course. Just make sure to give it a bit more time to heal.”
“Alright, Doc. What about my fees? When do I pay those?”
“Well, Fluttershy has already dealt with that.”
“What? Why?” You look at Fluttershy incredulously.
“Well... I didn’t know how many bits you had in the bank, and I wanted to help you out...”
“More than you already have? Fluttershy, I have to pay you back for this. I know I’ll figure something out. You’re right, I don’t have enough bits, but you should have let me pay some of the fees!”
“Oh... S-sorry...” Fluttershy looks on the verge of tears, and you realise you were being a bit forceful. You tone it down a bit, and keep talking;
“Don’t be sorry, please Fluttershy. You came into the Everfree Forest when you heard me yelling, not caring for your fears. You let me stay in your home while I heal. You have almost never left my side. And now, you have payed my hospital fees. If anything, I should be sorry for inconveniencing you so much.”
“Oh, I’m happy to help.” Fluttershy smiles again, and you are relieved that she no longer looks about to cry. You awkwardly walk out the door, with Fluttershy in tow. You take a deep breath of the unfiltered air, relishing the feeling of the cool morning breeze on your face. You can smell something cooking, which is probably coming from Sugarcube Corner, which is just down the street. There is the familiar smell of... Apple Fritters? I guess Applejack had some extra apples this month, and Pinkie is making something special. I’ll have to go and get some later. Your mouth waters as you think of biting through the crispy batter and tasting the cooked apple inside, and you realise how much your mouth is watering, and you wipe it away quickly, lest Fluttershy notice. You might ask Fluttershy to go with you later on so you can try them. Pinkie is definitely one of the best cooks around. And Applejack’s apples always taste beautiful. You can hear the sounds of Ponyville’s residents slowly waking up and getting ready for work.

Only once you walk out the door do you realise that you have no idea where Fluttershy’s cottage is. You turn to her, a bit embarrassed.
“Um... Here.” She smiles and walks towards you, softly taking you by the hoof and leading you to the edge of town. You are slowly getting the hang of the crutches. They itch a little bit, but you are sure that Fluttershy will be able to help with that, perhaps with a cloth, or an ointment, or something. As you slowly leave town, you realise that you are extremely calm, just walking slowly with Fluttershy along the path. Then she surprises you when she speaks, as you are usually the one to initiate conversation. You guess that she is probably more comfortable out here, with nopony else around. She still speaks quietly, though.
“I can’t wait to introduce you to all my animal friends. Angel Bunny will be so happy to meet somepony new. That is... If you want to meet them... No pressure...”
“I’d be more than happy too, Fluttershy. I have never really spent time around animals. It would be nice to get back to nature a bit. My building is just made of concrete, wood and cats.” You chuckle quietly, remembering the mare that lived down the hall from you. “Not enough cats to make me used to animals, of course. But I’m pretty good at adapting.” Fluttershy smiles and you continue on, until you see Fluttershy’s cottage. It is probably one of the coolest houses you have ever seen. It is simple, but beautiful as well. Fitting for it’s owner then. You frown as you think this, not sure where it came from. But then Fluttershy starts speaking again, and you abandon all thought once more to listen.
“While you were asleep, I took some time to come back here and set up a bed in my room. It’s just a little cot, but I’ll be fine in it.”
“Fluttershy, what do you mean by You will be fine in it?”
“Well, you need the big bed.”
“No I don’t. I may be disabled at the moment, but I will beat you to that cot. I am not going to take your bed as well. That’s the reason I want to help you around the house. I may as well earn my keep. I don’t want to just take your food and other supplies as well. I do work around your house, and as soon as I can, I’ll pay you for your troubles.”
“B-but... I can’t ask you to do that...”
“You aren’t, right?”
“No... But...”
“I’m offering-- No, I’m demanding you take some form of payment for this.” You made sure to correct yourself, as you had a feeling Fluttershy would try to refuse to take payment, if you were just ‘Offering’.
“Okay... If you’re sure...”
“Fluttershy... Of course I’m sure.” You continue in silence, and as you slowly walk over the bridge leading to Fluttershy’s Cottage, you take a few seconds to marvel at the beauty of all the nature around you. The sounds of Ponyville slowly waking up are gone, and you can hear birds singing, you can see rabbits and suchlike hopping through the undergrowth. You can smell flowers somewhere. The air is slightly fresher out here, and you notice that it also feels slightly chillier. But that’s fine. You have always felt more comfortable in the cold. You aren’t really accustomed to nature, as you have lived in the city all of your life. You moved to Ponyville earlier in the year. You remember the trouble you went through, as they hadn’t heard about the Changeling attack in Manehattan at that time, and the guards that Celestia had stationed in Ponyville had thought you were a Changeling on the run. It took a while to convince them, but they believed you in the end. But even living in Ponyville, you still aren’t used to nature. In a way, you distrust it. It’s always changing. And not always on time, either. But you realise that you have to get used to nature, if you are going to be living with Fluttershy for a few weeks. You approach her cottage and she smiles reassuringly at you. She must sense that you are worried about meeting her animal friends. Which is odd, as while you aren’t used to animals, you still feel comfortable around them. What if they don’t like me and Fluttershy decides not to like me either? You then realise the insanity of this thought. Oh Celestia. What am I thinking? You chuckle quietly and push the door open, walking into your new home.

A/N
--Okay. Sorry abut having another one of these. I’ll try not to make it a regular occurrence. But this chapter took me ages to get right. I hope I am hinting at ‘Your’ latent feelings towards Fluttershy properly. I just liked the idea of the heart monitor going crazy every time you saw Fluttershy (As in, your heart was beating faster). I just want to know if it was a good idea. Not sure. And I imagine the crutches as a pole slightly longer than a ponies’ leg, with a loop on one end to put your hoof in, and a sort of U shape at the top, that fits under the shoulder. I haven’t seen may crutches in my life, so it is just a guess. I have also tried to elaborate more on ‘your’ senses with this edit, based on the feedback I have received. I was afraid to do too much in the way of senses in the first version, in case it seemed like I was laying it on a bit thick. But, I guess a writer has to work harder with immersing the reader with Second Person fics, as the reader is more directly involved. I guess we’ll see how it is now.--
E/A/N

Comments

[Capulus]

Alright. Like I said, tell me if it is bad, and if you feel like it, give me some advice on how to make it better.

[Teufelhund]

1058660

Only thing I think you need to work on, is separating your paragraphs out more, instead of it looking like one long paragraph. Or you could indent the beginning of each paragraph, just something to separate them. Also, if you wouldn't mind, I would love you forever if you made a 2nd person x Luna fic. take that in any way you wish.

[Whirring Gears]

Dang. I'm a Pratchett fan, but have only read his earlier works so far.

Either way, the pacing is a little fast. Perhaps show some flying fancy free before having us crash. While it's good that you're using all five senses to show the scene, you can use them for more than just major events. For example, you said the hospital had an odd smell. Care to elaborate on that? What sort of taste was in your mouth when you woke up from a week long coma? What exactly did you smell baking from Sugarcube Corner? Were any sights, sounds, or smells different when you left town and got to Fluttershy's cottage?

Fluttershy seems a bit quick to act, accepting you into her home and whatnot. The heart monitor was funny, but a bit repetitive. There are also some places where you switch verb tenses.

And formatting. Please separate your paragraphs and indent them.

All in all, not too shabby, and I look forward to more!

[BassistBrony]

I love this story! it feels nice to be talk to fluttershy in my imagination, please do more!

[Capulus]

1060643
1060622
Woah. So many good reviews. Sorry for the awkwardness of this, but I am on my phone, so forgive me. First of all, I would have never imagined I would get so many positive reviews in such a short time. Secondly, I am going by your advice, and will be making a few minor edits before moving on. Thirdly, to the Pratchett fan, Just a hint: If you read Snuff you'll get it. To the person asking for a Luna/You Fic, I have an idea for almost every character. So, don't be surprised if a Luna one is posted by me after I finish my mane six matchmaking. I'll make sure Luna is the first one I work on, just for you.

[Zornia]

Great story, im watching.

[nothing to see here]

Good story so far, have a watch! This makes me want to try writing a second person story of my own

[Capulus]

1060806, 1060916 Alright, posting the next chapter, and the edits.
1060643 I have tried to implement your advice in this edit, let me know if it is any better. I was originally too afraid to say too much about the senses, in case it seemed like I was laying it on a bit thick. But I guess with second person, I have to work harder to immerse the reader, as they are more directly involved. I have shown a little more flying at the start, and gone over the tenses. I have tried to find them all. Let me know if I missed any. Like I said, I have done the paragraphs. And I have changed it around a bit to make it seem like Fluttershy was accepting a friend in need into her home, not a stranger who she found in the Everfree. Also, nice to know another Pratchett fan is on this site.
1060622 I separated it into paragraphs, something I have never been good at, I hope it is right. And I wasn't joking before. Once I have finished with the mane six, I'll do a Luna/'You' fic just for you.
1061748, 1062624 Thank you both for the watches.
1060778 Damn, I made errors? I went through it with a fine-toothed comb to try and find them (Is toothed a word? Ah, who cares, it is now.) and fix them.
1060662 I tired to make Fluttershy a little more shy... not sure how I did. I am not used to writing for quiet characters.

Yay, I'm doing well with my first second person story! I hope I can keep it good. I have ended up ruining so many stories in the past by getting ahead of myself.

[Talentless_Brony]

This is awesome.. And cute.

[jamie9897]

this is her eye color I wouldn't call it a shade of green

[Aura Zero]

So, you have my attention. Lets see how this goes.

[Lunar_Flare6234]

My only complaint is that the "hint hint wink wink" was a bit much in terms of show don't tell. Other than that it's a great version of the classic "nurse Fluttershy" concept

[Lunar_Flare6234]

1094476
It's like a blue-green (also known as tiel)