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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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Nice work, as always!
10027877
Maybe this will help?
10027947
That's actually the exact thing I've been using...
10027950
Oh, well XD
Great chapter so far
Heh who’s more stubborn him or aj
10027950
Found this a bit ago. also found This if you can get passed the cringe.
It’s hard to find good resources
I don't want to be that guy but I just have to rant about when Twilight said THIS:
To a Vietnam vet who was DRAFTED against his will, had to go through Vietnam era training, go to Vietnam and SURVIVE there for a while, which means he probably had to be in multiple firefights, saw a LOT of fucked up shit and had to worry about all the things likes "is that an innocent civilian or an enemy combatant waiting for us to lower our guard and kill us" and many, MANY other things...and then transported to a different WORLD altogether...
Well...I don't know about others but I would probably be a lot more ... energetic... in my response to that...
Don't get me wrong, I love the story, but the protagonist survived through hell, hell that was so bad he tried to KILL himself (which, let's be honest, at least implies a shitload of trauma) and you had the PERFECT chance to show both us AND the princess that and maybe even giving us some more backstory on the actual deployment?
Whatever, point is, his response isn't too bad but doesn't fit the story while that was still a perfect opportunity to show the truma he had...if you wanted to avoid the obvious (but in my opinion the most appropriate "what the fuck do you know leaving your comfort zone") route, you could have show his trauma through some soubtler responses...maybe a far away look, him getting frustrated,bitter or anything really...yeah the rest of the chapter has some hint of it but you had a prime opportunity to show it...
Sorry for the rant, I do love the story but characters having extremely mild reactions to stuff like that is one of my really big pet peeves and that particular response REALLY took me out of the story. I mean, I don't want to come off as an asshole but saying something like that to someone like Toby deserve a verbal lashing at least...
TLDR: I personally think Toby's responses are way too... nonchalant (relatively speaking) for what he lived through/background story
10027950
Pardon me but, could you include a chapter where Luna peers into his dreams and gets a tour of Nam?
10034724
This!
Each time I see Starlight or Star Bright being mentioned, my mind keeps forcing me back to the Quantum Leap episode "Star Light, Star Bright". I have no clue as to why, but somehow it's lodged up there pretty good.
No relation to the story whatsoever. It's just that it keeps popping up, and I had to finally tell someone.
10034724
I don't know if she'd be horrified, terrified, or would reminisce. Many people see her as the "unyielding warrior" of the two. Some go as far as to depict her with battle cleavers, or something similarly appropriately horrific.
11001703
21st CENTURY SCHIZOID MAN starts playing