• Member Since 29th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 16th, 2023

Firefox69


My secondary account so I can upload stories here as well. Head on over to fanfiction.net for my primary under the same name as that profile will be updated first and this one second.

Comments ( 5 )

Too short of sex and too much sex compared to story. Also, it is courtious to the reader to add an anthro/human note in the description.

You have this marked with a 'human' tag yet you refer to Cheerilee as "earth-pony marefriend" and "fuchsia colored mare"
Yes I'm a bit nit-picky but inconsistancies like that make it hard for me to follow as I'm a detail whore.:twilightblush:
Good effort though, I know you were doing this as a speed write just remember to keep things the same, either the characters are humanized or they aren't.
Only the mighty Trollestia can have her cake and eat it too.:trollestia:

Nothing quite like a complete non-sequitur for an opening line. I like that you took the opportunity to make a joke of that.

It was really good! It was sexy and erotic enough for me.:heart::pinkiehappy:

1060496
Yeah sorry about that, I'm normally on top of this kind of thing but occasionally the little things manage to slip through the cracks and it only takes one to ruin the story and pull somebody out of it.:twilightblush:

1060528 again ever so sorry about the mistake, I hope you could forgive me.

1060614 Thanks for the compliment, I usually use thes shorter stories as a proving grounds to test out ideas and methods of writing for use in my main story Good Luck Better Circumstance.

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