This is the second published version of this story. History of earlier versions of the story can be found here.
Samuel has lived a (he thought) boring life, so he happily accepted the offer some sort of spirit made to him.
When he wakes up the next morning, he is still in the same world, but he really should count his limbs now.
Plot:
Human transformed, in the four versions of Celestia (Celestia, Daybreaker, Nightmare Star, and Solar flare), tries to find his way in the human world and ultimately goes to Equestria thanks to the strong magic now at his disposal.
Tags: < mlp:fim | Adventure | Human | Changelings >
The main character is more or less based on me.
Story was featured at least twice (I’m not keeping track).
Chapters (17)
Hmm gotta say the premise is intriguing.
There are a number of errors with you're grammar. The idea behind the story is interesting but there are a number of issues with the way it's written down.
I think the biggest issue is the fact that you time-skipped past a large chunk of story and didn't bother to explain what happened in the skip. One chapter we are reading about a dude who got split into multiple people and the next each different part of him has their own life and their own personality. It seems like he has completely forgotten about who he used to be. The whole transition is very jarring in general.
This is a great story. Need MOAR!
Hello, wanted to fill you in about the edit on the story.
Commander Joe pointed a few flaws out, mainly the problem with the time-skip in the story. I re-read the chapters and changed them to better fit the story. The changed chapter is P3-Prologue, but I only changed the dates of Vortex observations.
In the story they arrived now two years before princess Luna returns.
I will also write a conclusion about the events that happened in the time between ‘her’ arrival and the start of P3. I’ll upload it later this week.
Spoiler P3: P3 will only describe the time until princess Lunar return, but it’ll be far from empty.
PS: My native tounge isn’t english, so I could use a proof-reader. I already mailed a few, but didn’t get a response. So, if you’d want to help me with that, please pm/mail me.
Also, please note that since I’m now writing with canon characters my writing will probably slow down a bit.
A version history can be found here.
So. this is a thing, then.
This goes against everything I stand for... but everyone has to do something they don't like every once in a while.
66.media.tumblr.com/acb984619784a4de4b983ce4b754cc10/tumblr_nr40eqClea1rnzmigo1_500.gif
woopwoopwoopwoopwoop!
9543071
Reference to the original Celestia’s love for her subjects. The personality traits of the bodies partially surface in the feelings and actings of the persons. That is for example why DB forges - she stands for power - while Nightmare can easely use transformative magic - a nightmare can have any form.
When they return to one being, these traits won’t vanish, but definitively weakened, as they balance each other out. However, these seperations of abilities and acting will later play a role when they interact with the changelings or dragons.
huh out of no where but alright.
9548725
Welp, already edited it. You may have seen the error in the color coding.
definitely seems a bit rushed with the transition to equestria, considering you glossed over the important bit of establishing a base for themselves. It's described nicely but feels like I'm missing out due to you not dedicating a chapter or two to it.
Things are developing nicely. Definitely a good chapter.
9534207
Exactly what I was thinking. Pacing in particular is of issue but that's something that a lot of people struggle with. When I first started writing, my pacing went from glacially slow to faster than lightning pretty unpredictably. Took a while to improve that.
9538483
If you need proofreading, I may be able to help. I have a lot of time on my hands so just message me on here if you need help with stuff. I can also help a bit with editing.
Also, if I may ask, what is your mother tongue?
9558610
Same here!
Well, that cult will have a very hard time doing what it wants to do.
9559918
Thanks for pointing out.
I can't wait for the next update
9559918
That'd be my fault, I'm helping edit for clarity and must have missed that on my pass through that chapter.
this deserves more attention.
Making your own little Displaced-verse are you?
9564468
More or less. The characters vortex gave abilities (or simply teleported) will each have their own story here. If I’m not too lazy to write them. This is inspired by the displaced, but they were too far away from my idea of a multiverse that I could use it and torkens or other displaced-ideas (except for Vortex in the role of the merchant and the connected worlds) won’t exist.
Also, and that is the more important point, the worlds Vortex has connected and access to are limited. They are only around fourty (Three earths, twenty-five equestrais, two realm-worlds and a few more) worlds connected vortex can enter, and he only knows of around fifty other worlds he can only view or teleport people to, which is also the reason the balance of chaos and order can be changed.
I’ll be out of town from the 16th to 18th april, so I won’t upload from tuesday to thursday. Thought you might wanted to know.
I’m also not entirely sure if I can upload a chapter tomorrow. Sorry!
9565629
Ok
Seems like I was able to upload.
I decided to write a longer chapter since I would be gone for a few days. If you want to read the chapter in chapters: There are eight of these
in it, so you could just read parts of the chapter each day. Their lengths are the following:
1: 416 words
2: 545 words
3: 129 words
4: 1026 words
5: 205 words
6: 1235 words
7: 197 words
8: 81 words
9: 24 words.
The empty lines represent where I’d split them in shorter chapters.
If princess celestia was told or knew about the 'sacrifice' then wouldnt a memorial or something be put up for the 'dead' unicorn (or more) after it happened?
9568375
...you realize that the whole chapter played in a dimension that was in this state because the princesses both already died? The world was more or less in a state like fallout: Still running, but on last resorts. Therefore, the council will remember them, as well as the world’s Twilight, but after a few generations it will probably decay to a legend amomg many.
One word? Discord.
They just need to hide until the episode he breaks free.
Which is, with access to other dimensions, not that hard.
Alright, I liked the story very well with the explanations with worldbuilding and magic.
The cult was already meh since the story needed an obvious enemy that is not NMM.
But the whole jumping realities, becoming changleing queen, New bodies, new Celestias, new Samanthas in difRealities, New forms from random mlp artists (which are props to them very nice) AND on top of that random rune circles and r63-realities jumping and saving random worlds thru Vortex, this feels like its getting out of hand.....
Almost feel like i will develop ADHD with keeping track of 4 bodies and now we have 5? Its like trying to keep up with 4 characters with different personalities which could/should be one personality.
AND FINALLY!! we get to the point of what Samantha (the personality/being/original) IS to the world.
Besides being apperantly a changeling queen (which was interesting and could have been a single arc of the story) but no it jumps to random Equestria without Celestia/Luna to save it and then jumps to r63 Equestria!?!?! Too many jumps from one point to the next, almost no continuity. Lack of progression and overall just story? Dont get me wrong, The world building is there, the random scenes and fights are on point, but the story is stuck for me. If i looked from when Samantha became 4 Celestias to When she is 5 Celestias now, This (original) timeline she exists in didnt budge much with Changleings and random cultists thrown in.
I dont know why im frustrated that Im typing this now..... I guess it just went AWOL on how i thought it would go?? Fck if i know anymore. The story i guess doesent captivate me with ''Displaced'' like jumping realities ect.
9579225
The cult is somehow a presence that is no danger to a powerful being, but a real danger to most others.
Also, I’ll stop with the dimensional jumping for quite some time at the end of the part.
No spoilers, but something will both increase the danger of the cult in the future and decrease the dimensional jumps Samantha does.
Ok short update: I was right and won’t be able tomorrow or the day after that (from MEZ) to upload. Sorry!
...sure.
Novo, not nova.
9589270
OOps, thanks
no molly? ( mollestia ) H character celly
4 versions of celestia?
here !
celly ( celestia )
molly ( moléstia )
dayday ( daybreaker )
trolly ( trollestia )
9591456
Nightmare. You should never accept help from anyone you know is evil.
Shades of Gordon Freeman!
I just read through the chapters up to this point and have come to the conclusion that you are in dire need of a beta reader/copy editor to get rid of that "Half-Life Full Life Consequences" aura. Otherwise, an interesting concept.
0U0That is possibly one of the weirdest questions you can ask someone
9647484
Challenge accepted
Life
9752289
Fixed.
Interesting this also looks like it's hard to write as you have to keep track of so many different characters who are also the same character.
Probably one of the most unique and interesting concept for a story I've seen.
Keep up the good work man, it'll take me a while to read through all of your work at the moment though.
Cheers to this story, I'm rather enjoying it!
I hope whatever life is throwing at you is a pleasant distraction, as opposed to the alternative, or one that will subside peacefully and without major incident
9770048
Besides that, the pacing is to fast
9787531
Not ludicrous speed fast, but fast
Man nothing wrong right now but Celestia's color gives me headache
9548729
It still there, the color code is showing instead of the colored text
9548729
It still there, the color code is showing instead of the colored text